There are many ways we can apply last week’s teaching on humility, but two especially come to mind for our generation. We must not withhold truth in confrontation, and we must not withhold life in evangelism.
Confrontation
Sean Gannan (2008), Creative Commons
Let’s admit it: we simply don’t know how to do it well. The Bible says, “You shall reason frankly with your neighbor” (Lev. 19:17), and I say, “but I don’t want to hurt his feelings.” The Bible says, “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt” (Col. 4:6), and I say, “but I’d better let him have it.” In other words, we usually make the Sucker’s Choice[1] between being truthful or being respectful, but the Bible commands us always to do both. If we disagreed with each other more honestly and more respectfully, we’d make better decisions, resolve more conflicts, and build deeper relationships. As William Blake wrote in “A Poison Tree,”
I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.
Evangelism
I’ll admit it: I generally don’t want to do it well. It would mean I’d have less time for what I want to do. I couldn’t hide behind my fears, nurturing them and helping them to flourish in my heart. People might not like me. It would be awkward and uncomfortable, and 5 minutes of comfort matter more to me than someone’s possible eternity in hell. Can you relate?
Now I’m not trying to make you feel guilty. No, my point is that you and I are guilty. Jesus knew it, and he died for us anyway. So we’re free to confess frankly, repent, and keep moving forward.
[1] Phrase borrowed from Patterson, et al, Crucial Conversations (New York: McGraw Hill, 2002).
Your teaching here is important. I am an 86 yo woman, and I recall when immodest clothes were rarely seen in church. Recently, a pastor’s wife told me that she had spoken to one of the women about her immodesty and the woman never came back to church again. This is a problem that I think we women need to/should address with each other. but it is difficult to know how to tactfully speak to offenders. Those of us who are concerned about the problem end up just praying for offenders and doing nothing.
Thanks for your comments, Mary. Certainly, we need to be winsome as we seek to attract newcomers to Christ (or welcome them into our churches). That means choosing our words wisely. And when we’ve built a good trusting relationship, we often need to address issues both honestly and respectfully. I agree that it’s difficult!