After Friday’s year-end roundup, I’m on a top 10 kick. So here are 10 New Year’s resolutions you might want to try this year. They’re biblical, after all, but I take no responsibility for the outcomes.
10. Drink water and eat vegetables. If and only if, by January 11, you are fatter, prettier, and smarter than the rest of your generation, keep it up (Dan 1:11-16). Otherwise, feel free to ditch the vegetables.
9. Do whatever Jesus would do (Matt 14:28-29, 1 Pet 3:18-20).
8. Husbands, always tell your wives what to do (Esther 1:10-12).
7. Act shrewdly enough that your potential enemies and your real enemies won’t be able to team up against you (Ex 1:10).
6. Wives, do whatever your husbands tell you to do (Acts 5:1-2, 7-10).
5. Dedicate to God whatever he brings your way (Judg 11:30-31).
4. Keep your hands to yourself (1 Cor 7:1).
3. Get more money, so you can answer everything (Eccl 10:19) and eliminate all pain and insecurity from your life (Luke 12:18-19, James 5:1).
2. Obey all the lesser-known, but not less important, commands of God, such as: “Thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel: ‘Drink, be drunk, and vomit'” (Jer 25:27).
1. Build something great for yourself (Gen 11:1-4).
Ridiculousness aside—as for me, I’m going to begin my annual blitz through the Bible. The dark winter months can be so discouraging for me, and the most effective treatment is to drown myself in Scripture to draw closer to its Author. Would you like to join me in a speed-read through the Bible this year? If so, check out my recent post at The Gospel Coalition: “A Bible Reading Plan for Readers.”
Reading the Bible in big chunks might help us not to take individual verses out of context.
What other “biblical” resolutions could we add to the list?