Sexual immorality follows this pattern: words, path, trap, death.
- We hear and believe seductive words.
- We follow immorality’s path of action.
- We fall into the trap.
- We find only death.
Last week, I showed this pattern from Proverbs 7:21-27, the final section in Solomon’s miniseries on wise sexuality. This week, I’ll cap the series with one last round of application.
Normally we don’t think anything’s wrong until we begin to experience death. “Death” in this sense refers to anything that does not advance our well-being (“life”). So we feel guilty. Or we experience the consequences of some stupid choice. Or we get caught, and we lose trust with the people we love. Or memories haunt us, or satisfaction eludes us.
Jaci Lopes dos Santos (2010), Creative Commons
If you know immorality’s pattern, you’ll know how God goes about breaking it. With the help of his Holy Spirit, you can undo the pattern and work backwards through it.
From Death to Trap
When you feel the weight of sin’s consequences, thank God for his mercy. In his love, he’s chosen to discipline you and not destroy you. He’s brought the consequences to bear so he might get your attention and turn you from your destructive choices.
But you won’t turn unless you feel desperate.
You must understand that you are well and truly trapped. You’re like a deer caught in the hunter’s snare. You cannot escape the trap on your own, and you need someone to rescue you.
From Trap to Path
If you feel trapped, you may sober up enough to see the path that led you to it. You’ll see that it wasn’t a single event, a single choice, that got you in trouble. It was a whole series of choices that led through the darkness.
Adultery is far more than a single act of intercourse. Intercourse, after all, follows foreplay. Foreplay follows the first kiss. That kiss only came after the first touch. The first touch resulted from that flirting, that testing of the waters to see if there could be “something more.” Looking for that “something more” followed the decision that you needed something “more,” which itself followed the belief that you didn’t have enough.
Whatever your struggle, trace your path. If you see how you got there, you’ll see how to get out. Small choices precede big ones, both for good or for evil.
From Path to Words
With the path illuminated before you, find the first step. What did you believe that got you into this situation? And what truth should replace that lie?
For example, if your path began with the belief that you didn’t have “enough” (romance, satisfaction, respect, love, etc.), you may find help in 2 Peter 1:3: “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence.” Or in Ephesians 3:14-19, where Paul prays that we might “comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge.”
If your path began with the need to escape from a difficult life and feel in control again, you may want to meditate on or memorize John 6, where Jesus claims that “no one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him. And I will raise him up on the last day” (John 6:44).
If your path began with the simple belief that it would be fun and exciting and pleasurable, you may simply need to remind yourself that those who commit sexual immorality “will not inherit the kingdom of God” (Gal 5:19-21).
Ultimately, you can remember that “there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Rom 8:1). Jesus died so you could have life. When he visited his fearful, denying, doubting, cowering disciples, his resurrected lips carried a message of peace (John 20:19, 21, 26). His resurrection brings the same message to you and me.
The trick is to get that message to sink in and direct our paths.
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