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The Illusion of Freedom

May 1, 2026 By Peter Krol

The first section of Proverbs 5 (Prov 5:1-6) highlighted the deceptiveness of appearances. Not all is as it seems, and sexual immorality covers itself under the illusion of freedom. In this closing section, we see that deviation from God’s standards—what the culture calls “sexual freedom”—is not really free.

For a man’s ways are before the eyes of the Lord,
And he ponders all his paths.
The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him,
And he is held fast in the cords of his sin.
He dies for lack of discipline,
And because of his great folly he is led astray (Prov 5:21-23).

Pursuing immorality is like snapping the handcuffs, donning the straitjacket, locking the cage, or triggering the land mine. You thought to hunt a foxy partner, but the real hunters will “cry ‘havoc!’ and let slip the dogs of war.”[1] You are the prey, fit only to become a fur scarf or set of mounted antlers.

Notice first that God sees everything (Prov 5:21). Nothing we do is really in secret, though we reason with ourselves that it is so. To be free from the prying eyes of men is still to be under the fiery, knowing gaze of the Almighty. The First Catechism, a children’s version of Christian theology, summarizes:

Can you see God?
No. I cannot see God, but he always sees me.
Does God know all things?
Yes. Nothing can be hidden from God.[2]

Do these lines inspire you with hope or terrify you with despair, when you consider your sexual life of the past week or month?

Notice second that sin is ensnaring (Prov 5:22). We think that a little sin will produce a little happiness; otherwise, we wouldn’t do it! We must realize instead that every time we sin, we take up the yoke and subjugate ourselves to a harsh master. We choose slavery, not freedom. We more closely resemble unwelcome critters, to be caught and disposed of, than carefree gazelles, frolicking through glade and meadow.

Notice finally that, for the wicked, freedom is elusive (Prov 5:23). The sinner would rather die than become disciplined. The immoral person is full of “great folly” that leads him astray. He missed his turn and will never reach his destination. Life and freedom elude him; they’re always just out of reach.

Those final words (“led astray”) are significant because, in the Hebrew text, they represent the same vocabulary as was used in Prov 5:19 and Prov 5:20. Solomon commanded his reader to be “intoxicated” by the love of his spouse, and not by the forbidden woman. “Intoxicated” could also have been translated as “swerving astray” or “reeling” to show the repetition. The translators of the NET Bible[3] explain it this way in a note: “If the young man is not captivated by his wife but is captivated with a stranger in sinful acts, then his own iniquities will captivate him, and he will be led to ruin.”

The message is clear: sexual “freedom” is an illusion. Fools set their own traps and surprise themselves by springing them. The simple claim insufficient knowledge or education, and their traps are no less painful. Even those who ought to be wise struggle in the chains of self-love, self-focus, self-pity, and self-centered fear or insecurity.

Is there hope we’ll ever find the way of life and enjoy God’s delightful wisdom?

Appearances are truly deceptive. How could the son of a carpenter be, as the Nicene Creed states, “very God of very God?” How could one born in obscurity and killed in infamy provide God’s righteousness to any who want it?

Immorality has real consequences, and the pure and righteous one suffered so we immoral ones might be washed clean.

Marriage has phenomenal delights, and the Great Bridegroom chose to die and not demand his rights as Husband. In so doing, he didn’t coerce his Bride, but won her allegiance for the long haul.

Sexual freedom is truly an illusion. Jesus submitted to the cross and the grave so we could be free of both forever; he proved it by his glorious resurrection. Now we get to image him to the world. Find your freedom in self-denial. Obtain life through your death. Secure satisfaction by serving and satisfying others, especially your spouse.

The wise person sees the culture’s illusions, blasts them with Bible dynamite, and wins others to radically selfless, Christ-like joy, far more exciting than either religious prudishness or enslaving immorality.

This post was first published in 2013 and is part of a series walking through Proverbs 1-9.

[1] Shakespeare, Julius Caesar, III.1.273.

[2] Suwanee, GA: Great Commission Publications, Inc., 2003, Questions 11 & 12.

[3] Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C, 1996-2005.

The Best Object of Sexual Delight

April 24, 2026 By Peter Krol

Previously, I examined two atrocious abuses of sexually explicit Bible texts. I concluded with two observations from Prov 5:18: You ought to rejoice in your spouse, and you ought to rejoice in your spouse. This week I’ll unpack the second observation.

Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice in the wife of your youth (Prov 5:18)

Observe the proper object of delight: rejoice in “the wife of your youth” (Prov 5:18). “Be intoxicated always in her love” (Prov 5:19). Solomon does not say, “Rejoice in how amazing the whole thing is,” or, “Get drunk on the incomparable sensations of sex.” We’ve seen it already with money issues, and we’ll see it again in the next few chapters of Proverbs: We’re always tempted to focus on ourselves. In doing so, however, we ruin the very joy God desires for us.

Marriage will not solve your lust problem. Sex will not make you happy. Sexual climax will always result in crushing disappointment when it’s about you. However, when it’s about the other, when it begins with self-denial and ends with sacrificial service, when it regards the well-being and delight of your spouse as being more important than your own, then it reflects God’s own selfless love for his people. You begin to understand the delight and ecstasy of sharing Christ’s own heart for the Church (Eph 5:31-32), and you will fulfill your potential of having been created and redeemed in his image, after his own likeness.

In The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis understood that true godly romantic love finds delight in a person, a spouse, not in a feeling or experience:

We use a most unfortunate idiom when we say, of a lustful man prowling the streets, that he “wants a woman.” Strictly speaking, a woman is just what he does not want. He wants a pleasure for which a woman happens to be the necessary piece of apparatus. How much he cares about the woman as such may be gauged by his attitude to her five minutes after fruition (one does not keep the carton after one has smoked the cigarettes). Now Eros makes a man really want, not a woman, but one particular woman. In some mysterious but quite indisputable fashion the lover desires the Beloved herself, not the pleasure she can give.[1]

By contrast, love of Love harms the lover: “Love becomes a demon when it becomes a god.”[2]

If you are unmarried, you do not have to get married to have a fulfilling existence. If you aspire to marriage, the best preparation is to practice serving others now. As you think about sex and dating, “How far can I go?” is always the wrong question. Instead ask, “How sacrificially can I serve others?”

If you are widowed or divorced, you have not yet lost the good years; now is the time to lay down your life in Christ-like abandon for those around you. Don’t fall prey to bitterness or self-pity. Find help, and engage the community.

If you are married, perhaps you need to repent of the selfish way you’ve exercised your passion thus far, of the way you’ve either made unloving demands or withdrawn in desperate self-protection. Demanding certain acts or increased frequency of lovemaking may have been out of line. Resisting your spouse in fear may be selfish and unloving. Whatever your struggle, consider a new goal: “What will serve my spouse and Christ?” For in such consideration, we find real freedom and Christ-like empowerment.

Thus, whatever your marital status and whatever your history, the Lord offers you the opportunity to enjoy something better than you dreamed possible. He offers you pure water, sweet streams, and a blessed fountain, but only when your satisfaction is rooted in the denial of self and the satisfaction of others. Don’t settle for a trifle.

This post was first published in 2013 and is part of a series walking through Proverbs 1-9.

[1] The Four Loves (New York, Harcourt, Brace, 1960), p.94. Disclosure: This is an affiliate link, so if you click it and buy stuff from Amazon, you’ll support our site at no extra cost to yourself.

[2] p.22.

The Only Intoxication the Bible Advises

April 17, 2026 By Peter Krol

Last week, I examined two atrocious abuses of sexually explicit Bible texts. I concluded with two observations from Prov 5:18: You ought to rejoice in your spouse, and you ought to rejoice in your spouse. This week I’ll unpack the first observation.

Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice in the wife of your youth (Prov 5:18)

Subharnab Majumdar (2009), Creative Commons

God’s plan is for joy. It’s not for well-contained respectability. It’s not for safely restricted teenagers. It’s not for secretly confused husbands and wives. Pastor Paul Browne of New Life Orthodox Presbyterian Church in Williamsport, PA spoke at length of this joy, from Solomon’s other famous love poem, at my wedding:

The Song of Solomon appropriately celebrates the only kind of intoxication that the Bible advises, which is that we should be drunk on the love of our wives and husbands, but it celebrates that intoxication with a clear-eyed, morning-after sobriety. It doesn’t present the unimproved, unexamined, sophomoric, sickly sweet cotton candy goo of immature infatuation…

Marriage is the covenanted giving of two selves, man and woman, one to another, as long as they both shall live. This is an unreserved giving and receiving of self that involves body and soul, an exhaustive mutual indwelling, a complete interpenetration of persons, a relationship involving a simultaneous oneness and twoness that doesn’t erase individual identity, but sharpens it.

It is a fact that the Song of Solomon very much emphasizes the physical, bodily aspect of this mutual giving. In Song 2:16, “he grazes among the lilies” refers to kissing or the other intimacies of physical lovemaking in the Song…

So not only do the bride and groom anxiously await the time they can give themselves physically in God-blessed physical sexuality, but she envisions it lasting until “the day breathes, and the shadows flee away.” Here is the Word of God commending to us all-night making love in unbroken romantic tryst until the morning. And, of course, the bride in the Song of Solomon knows the possibility because she again likens her lover to a gazelle or a stag: sure-footed, agile, virile, potent, living life in 4-wheel drive…

The wonder of it is that this is lovemaking that takes place in a garden setting, a paradise that is untainted by guilt. When the shadows flee away, and the day comes, there are no regrets, there’s no sorrow, there is no fear of the light exposing wrongdoing, because God blesses this lovemaking in the permanently covenanted setting of marriage.[1]

God intends such intoxicating delight for every married couple, but it’s only possible when we do it according to the way of wisdom. God’s plan is for joy.

This post was first published in 2013 and is part of a series walking through Proverbs 1-9.

[1] Excerpt from Browne’s sermon delivered at my wedding on September 18, 2004.

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Don’t Abuse the Sexiest Parts of the Bible

April 10, 2026 By Peter Krol

Drink water from your own cistern,
Flowing water from your own well.
Should your springs be scattered abroad,
Streams of water in the streets?
Let them be for yourself alone,
And not for strangers with you.
Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice in the wife of your youth,
A lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
Be intoxicated always in her love.
Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman
And embrace the bosom of an adulteress? (Prov 5:15-20)

Sexual freedom is an illusion because immorality always brings death. But the Lord’s alternative is surprisingly intoxicating.

Before sipping from the glory of this text, however, consider two misconceptions regarding such sexually ecstatic and eye-popping-ly explicit Bible passages.

The first misconception is that it’s not decent. We shouldn’t discuss anatomy in public. Intoxicating love is awkward and uncomfortable. This sort of thing is okay to discuss in the last session of pre-marital counseling (at least, if the couple-to-be asks about it), but nowhere else.

Such prudishness about sexual matters led the medieval church to all sorts of ridiculous limitations on not only discussion but also the practice of vibrant sexuality in marriage. A friend of mine once showed me a “flow chart of sexual decision making, according to medieval penitential manuals.”[1] If you’re trying to bring back that loving feeling, make sure you answer each of the following questions correctly.

Are you married? Is this your spouse? Married more than three days? Is the wife menstruating? Is the wife pregnant? Is the wife nursing a child? Is it Lent? Is it Advent? Is it Whitsun week? Is it Easter week? Is it a feast day? Is it a fast day? Is it Sunday? Is it Wednesday? Is it Friday? Is it Saturday? Is it daylight? Are you naked? Are you in Church? Do you want a child? Then go ahead, but be careful: No fondling! No lewd kisses! No oral sex! No strange positions! Only once! Try not to enjoy it! Good luck! And take a bath when you’re finished.

Of course, we’re far more sophisticated today. We’d never go to such excess. We just make sure to focus on teaching the youth what they can’t do, and in the process, we neglect the beauty and glory of what God has in store for those who do it his way.

The second misconception about such Bible passages is that marriage will solve my lust problem. As an unmarried man, I once memorized Prov 5:15-20 with the full intention of wielding it against whichever fortunate young lady fell to the irresistible charm of my marriage proposal. If you can relate, let me challenge you: Your lust is selfish, and marriage won’t fix you. If you’re already married, more frequent sex won’t fix you. Yes, Paul said, “it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Cor 7:9), but that does not authorize you to treat your spouse as kindling for your own consumption. Far better for you to cleanse her “by the washing of water with the word” (Eph 5:25-28), even if it means you have to take lots of cold showers along the way. Your problem lies not with your singleness (nor with your spouse’s unresponsiveness), but within your own heart. Your greatest need is not for the freedom to execute your desire on a beloved, but for the freedom that comes from self-controlled self-denial.

Both misconceptions fail to grapple with verse 18: “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth.” Observe two things: You ought to rejoice in your spouse, and you ought to rejoice in your spouse. We’ll unpack these two observations over the next two weeks.

This post was first published in 2013 and is part of a series walking through Proverbs 1-9.

[1] From James A. Brundage, Law, Sex, and Christian Society in Medieval Europe (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1987), p.162. Disclosure: this is an affiliate link, so if you click on it and buy stuff from Amazon, you’ll support our site at no extra cost to yourself.

Detailing the Consequences of Immorality

March 27, 2026 By Peter Krol

This week we continue our study of the illusion of sexual freedom.

And now, O sons, listen to me,
And do not depart from the words of my mouth.
Keep your way far from her,
And do not go near the door of her house,
Lest you give your honor to others
And your years to the merciless,
Lest strangers take their fill of your strength,
And your labors go to the house of a foreigner,
And at the end of your life you groan,
When your flesh and body are consumed,
And you say, “How I hated discipline,
And my heart despised reproof!
I did not listen to the voice of my teachers
Or incline my ear to my instructors.
I am at the brink of utter ruin
In the assembled congregation” (Prov 5:7-14).

Notice that the command to listen is repeated once again (Prov 5:7). Don’t let its familiarity cause you to hurry past it. Let it remind you of your need for help from outside yourself. Ask any recovering addict: You will not win this battle on your own.

Rochelle Hartman (2011), Creative Commons

Avoid immorality at all costs (Prov 5:8). Otherwise it will cause you to:

Lose your best years (Prov 5:9). The springtime of life could be spent on serving the Lord and growing his kingdom. Don’t give that up.
Squander your strength and the fruit of your labor (Prov 5:10). You’ll spend all your energy coping with your sin. Wouldn’t you rather have something else to look back on as your life’s work?
Regret all the waste and its wreckage (Prov 5:11). The night before I graduated from college, a hall mate asked if I had any regrets. I looked back over those four years, and with full honesty said, “No.” I hadn’t done everything perfectly, but the Lord had given me rest in him and in his work in my life. That night, I committed to living the rest of my life with the end in mind. I don’t regret that choice one bit.
Stagger from all of the guilt (Prov 5:12). You’ll finally identify the foolishness in your heart and the damaging behavior it led to. The weight of it will sink in.
Cower beneath all the shame (Prov 5:13). You’ll realize the problem wasn’t that you didn’t have enough information, but that you didn’t have enough conviction.
Despair at the public disgrace (Prov 5:14). You could be “that guy who ran off with the girl” back at your home church. I regret many indiscretions of my teen years. One particular incident came to light just before my high school graduation and crushed the respect a younger sister in Christ had for me. Her parting words – “How could you?!” – remain etched in my memory.

I want to make two things very clear. First, we must not minimize the consequences of our sin. Consider: Is it worth it? Decide now, not when temptation happens. We also must not buffer others from the consequences of their sin. God saves sinners – I am foremost! – by breaking all their hope to pieces, leaving none but Jesus (Mat 21:42-44, Rom 7:7-12). Don’t hinder any work of God by boxing out the truth.

Second, if this passage has discouraged you, please remember Proverbs 4: There is always hope that we can grow. Solomon depicts the end of immorality on purpose. He does it so we might change course before the end arrives. If you’re reading Solomon, it’s not too late for you. Just do nothing, and you’ll ruin all. Fear the Lord, and anything can change.

Share your struggles with pastors or wise leaders. Ask them to help you figure out what you desire (since what we do is always a result of what we desire). Many people turn to sexual immorality out of a desire for control (when life feels out of control), escape (when things are difficult), or acceptance (when they feel rejected by those they care about most). Identify what God desires for you instead (that you know him and find long life, peace, pleasantness, etc.), and ask him to help you change. Then turn from your sinful desires and grasp new, godly desires. Once wisdom changes who you are, it will flow into everything you do.

This post was first published in 2013 and is part of a series walking through Proverbs 1-9.

The Death of Immorality

March 20, 2026 By Peter Krol

Sexual freedom is an illusion, because immorality is not as pretty as it seems.

But in the end she is bitter as wormwood,
Sharp as a two-edged sword.
Her feet go down to death;
Her steps follow the path to Sheol;
She does not ponder the path of life;
Her ways wander, and she does not know it (Prov 5:4-6).

Last week, we saw that the “adulteress” is an image of all sexual immorality. Immorality has a sweet candy coating, but inside it’s a bitter pill (Prov 5:4). “Wormwood” is a plant with a bitter taste, and that’s what immorality is once you move past first impressions. I know a guy who works for a chemical company that works on both drugs and candy. He told me that the outer shell on an M&M is the same thing as the shell on an Advil. Next time you have the chance, I dare you to bite into the Advil.

Immorality leads only to death (Prov 5:5). The last thing it has in mind is our good (Prov 5:6a). In fact, it’s not even aware of the harm it causes (Prov 5:6b). Immorality is full of passion, but it’s clueless and self-defeating, like a pimply freshman inviting the homecoming queen over for video gaming.

How does this apply? Sexual immorality promises life, but the wise know it really gives death. We ought to be ready, especially for the battle of words. We have to expose immorality’s sweet-talk. We must remind ourselves of the truth. We need to discuss it often with others, to warn them. We unhinge its power when we strip it of its secrecy.

Consider just one major issue in our day: online pornography. Note how broad are the battle lines and how widespread is the death:

The porn industry makes around $97 billion per year.
87% of men report watching porn at least weekly.
It’s not a “guy issue,” though. It mostly just goes unreported among women.
Half of all teenagers have seen online porn by age 15.
Though only 4% of all website are pornographic, those sites draw 13% of all web searches and 20% of all mobile searches.
About 40 million Americans visit porn sites regularly.
About 68% of the general population report using porn. Among Christians, about 54% report porn use.
All this despite the accessibility of published research demonstrating the correlation of porn use with poor mental health, declining sexual fulfillment, increased divorce, and domestic violence.

Death surrounds us, and it’s covered in pretty makeup and stage lighting. We must discuss it frankly yet graciously, for no one who indulges in it will go unharmed.

This post was first published in 2013 and is part of a series walking through Proverbs 1-9.

Appearances are Deceiving, Especially When Hormones are Involved

March 13, 2026 By Peter Krol

The cultural ideal of “sexual freedom” is an illusion. Don’t be fooled.

My son, be attentive to my wisdom;
Incline your ear to my understanding,
That you may keep discretion,
And your lips may guard knowledge.
For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey,
And her speech is smoother than oil (Prov 5:1-3)

Solomon begins Proverbs 5 with another reminder to listen to his wisdom (Prov 5:1). If we don’t passively receive and actively seek instruction in the sexual realm, we endanger our lives. Once we receive it through our ears, we ought to “keep discretion” (presumably in our hearts, as Prov 4:21 advises). Then it changes who we are, affecting what we do, especially with our “lips” (Prov 5:2). Our lips must guard knowledge because honey drips from the forbidden woman’s lips. Her speech is smooth enough to make oil seem irritating, so we ought to be ready (Prov 5:3).

Before continuing, let’s clarify who the “forbidden woman” is. Remember that Proverbs is a work of poetic wisdom literature. As poetry, it makes liberal use of imagery to evoke an emotional reaction, but, as wisdom literature, it assumes we’ll think hard about what we’re reading. Earlier in Proverbs, Solomon exaggerated the portraits of his characters: the bumbling gang of thieves (Prov 1:10-19), Lady Wisdom the mocking street preacher (Prov 1:20-33), the adulteress whose house sinks through the ground into the grave (Prov 2:16-19), and the sleep-deprived, ferocious evildoers (Prov 4:14-17).

Solomon paints such an exaggerated picture of his subject to strengthen his point. He takes a character type and vividly describes the worst-case scenario for that type, thus including all variations of explicitness and severity. For example, in describing the violent gang, Solomon critiques all who want to get more stuff at the expense of others (Prov 1:19). Through Wisdom’s speech, Solomon warns not only those who have already harmed themselves but also everyone who loves being simple (Prov 1:22). When he warns against joining ravenous evildoers, he warns us to avoid their highway, not just their particular rest stop. We shouldn’t risk even entering it (Prov 4:14).

Who then is the “forbidden woman” in Proverbs 5? She includes loose women who tire of their husbands, but she ultimately represents every enticement to sexual immorality that you and I, whether male or female, experience. Solomon is clear about this fact when he broadens his final applications to include not just adulterers, and not just sexually immoral people, but all “the wicked” who show “great folly” (Prov 5:22-23). Whatever your gender, age, or marital status, this chapter of Proverbs applies to you. In fact, this chapter can help if your temptation involves the opposite sex, the same sex, solo sex, or images on a computer monitor. The “forbidden woman” still drips her honey at you, and you had better watch out. Therefore, for the sake of clarity, I’ll use the word “immorality” in future posts to refer to the opponent Solomon has in mind.

This post was first published in 2013 and is part of a series walking through Proverbs 1-9.

The Illusion of Sexual Freedom

March 6, 2026 By Peter Krol

Sex is a polarizing concept. It began beautifully when husband and wife were naked and unashamed (Gen 2:25), but it went downhill when they decided to love themselves more than God or each other (Gen 3:5, 7, 12, 22). Ever since, we’ve been terribly confused.

We need much wisdom to navigate between the proud lewdness of our culture and the traditional prudishness of Christians. Both sides represent a foolish oversimplification of what God intends sexuality to be, and the simple can get caught in the middle. And confusion multiplies when culture is prudish and Christians are lewd. Or when prudish Christians speak about sex as lewdly as the culture does. Or lewd Christians feign prudishness to fit in. How can the simple find their way?

In chapter 5 of Proverbs—which we’ll examine over the next few weeks—Solomon provides wisdom in the sexual realm. He suggests that not all is as it seems (Prov 5:1-6) and that the wrong choices have dire consequences (Prov 5:7-14). Utter unselfishness in the context of marital love is surprisingly intoxicating (Prov 5:15-20), and those who think they know satisfaction better than God does have sprung their own trap (Prov 5:21-23).

This post was first published in 2013 and is part of a series walking through Proverbs 1-9.

The End of Wisdom

October 6, 2014 By Peter Krol

Teti-Tots (2010), Creative Commons

This is my last post about Proverbs 1-9, and I end where Solomon ends—with a warning. Though folly looks a lot like wisdom, don’t let it deceive you. It will flatter you, trick you, and end you.

The woman Folly is loud;
she is seductive and knows nothing.
She sits at the door of her house;
she takes a seat on the highest places of the town,
calling to those who pass by,
who are going straight on their way.
“Whoever is simple, let him turn in here!”
And to him who lacks sense she says,
“Stolen water is sweet,
and bread eaten in secret in pleasant.”
But he does not know that the dead are there,
that her guests are in the depths of Sheol. (Prov 9:13-18, ESV)

I’ve listed extensive comparisons and contrasts between the feasts of wisdom and folly. In this post, I simply want to warn you of 4 things that look like wisdom but are not. They have ensnared many in our day.

Materialism

Some find their life and security in their abundance of possessions. Others react and find their life and security in their lack of possessions. Both are fools, though they often think themselves wise. Money is neither a god to be worshiped nor a demon to be exorcised. It is a tool useful for building God’s kingdom. It makes friends; it persuades kings. But God can give it or take it away as he pleases, and the wise will bow to him alone.

Sensuality

Some think sex will make them happy. Others react and treat it as something unfit to be discussed in Bible study. Both are fools, though they often think themselves wise. Sex is neither the chief end of man nor the fruit of the fall. The wise won’t ignore the temptation common to man, to abuse this gift. And the wise won’t wield the subject like a taser, merely for its shock value. But…what can I say? The wise husband loves his wife’s breasts (Prov 5:19). And the wise wife will find things about her husband that are equally intoxicating (Song 1:2).

Autonomy

“If you are wise, you are wise for yourself” (Prov 9:12). But that doesn’t mean you can be wise by yourself. Nor that you get to decide what is wise (Gen 3:6). Wisdom begins with the fear of the Lord, and it ends when instruction goes despised and unheeded. Those who have their act together may have an appearance of wisdom, but they deny wisdom’s true power to change and guide anyone (Prov 1:5).

Authoritarianism

Some fools believe their role or authority gives them value and power over people. Those who support such folly are fools themselves. A sanitized version of this folly exists in our churches when leaders are willing to tell their people what to do without being expected to show their people how to do it.

Now I’m not without guilt here. I drink these four poisons, and a thousand more, daily. The point of Proverbs is not to consign us to our folly but to expose the counterfeits so we might crave something more sumptuous.

Let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. (Heb 12:1-2)

Escape the Trap of Sexual Immorality

May 26, 2014 By Peter Krol

Sexual immorality follows this pattern: words, path, trap, death.

We hear and believe seductive words.
We follow immorality’s path of action.
We fall into the trap.
We find only death.

Last week, I showed this pattern from Proverbs 7:21-27, the final section in Solomon’s miniseries on wise sexuality. This week, I’ll cap the series with one last round of application.

Normally we don’t think anything’s wrong until we begin to experience death. “Death” in this sense refers to anything that does not advance our well-being (“life”). So we feel guilty. Or we experience the consequences of some stupid choice. Or we get caught, and we lose trust with the people we love. Or memories haunt us, or satisfaction eludes us.

Jaci Lopes dos Santos (2010), Creative Commons

If you know immorality’s pattern, you’ll know how God goes about breaking it. With the help of his Holy Spirit, you can undo the pattern and work backwards through it.

From Death to Trap

When you feel the weight of sin’s consequences, thank God for his mercy. In his love, he’s chosen to discipline you and not destroy you. He’s brought the consequences to bear so he might get your attention and turn you from your destructive choices.

But you won’t turn unless you feel desperate.

You must understand that you are well and truly trapped. You’re like a deer caught in the hunter’s snare. You cannot escape the trap on your own, and you need someone to rescue you.

From Trap to Path

If you feel trapped, you may sober up enough to see the path that led you to it. You’ll see that it wasn’t a single event, a single choice, that got you in trouble. It was a whole series of choices that led through the darkness.

Adultery is far more than a single act of intercourse. Intercourse, after all, follows foreplay. Foreplay follows the first kiss. That kiss only came after the first touch. The first touch resulted from that flirting, that testing of the waters to see if there could be “something more.” Looking for that “something more” followed the decision that you needed something “more,” which itself followed the belief that you didn’t have enough.

Whatever your struggle, trace your path. If you see how you got there, you’ll see how to get out. Small choices precede big ones, both for good or for evil.

From Path to Words

With the path illuminated before you, find the first step. What did you believe that got you into this situation? And what truth should replace that lie?

For example, if your path began with the belief that you didn’t have “enough” (romance, satisfaction, respect, love, etc.), you may find help in 2 Peter 1:3: “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence.” Or in Ephesians 3:14-19, where Paul prays that we might “comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge.”

If your path began with the need to escape from a difficult life and feel in control again, you may want to meditate on or memorize John 6, where Jesus claims that “no one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him. And I will raise him up on the last day” (John 6:44).

If your path began with the simple belief that it would be fun and exciting and pleasurable, you may simply need to remind yourself that those who commit sexual immorality “will not inherit the kingdom of God” (Gal 5:19-21).

Ultimately, you can remember that “there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Rom 8:1). Jesus died so you could have life. When he visited his fearful, denying, doubting, cowering disciples, his resurrected lips carried a message of peace (John 20:19, 21, 26). His resurrection brings the same message to you and me.

The trick is to get that message to sink in and direct our paths.