You know what’s fun? Ruining good things. Like squirting mustard on ice cream. Or playing The Four Seasons on kazoos.
A good Bible study group can be a blessing to the people who attend—so let’s put a stop to that. Since many benefits of a small group come through the interaction between group members, we’ll focus our disruptive energy there.
Susan Sermoneta (2005), Creative Commons License
Having a fruitful, Bible-centered discussion is hard—many details must fall into place, and several people need to catch the same vision. But ruining a discussion is easy. It takes only one person! Just a few of the techniques below will do the trick.
Hijack the Discussion
Like any conversation, Bible study discussions can be spoiled with a simple disregard for manners.
So here’s the first suggestion: Drive the conversation off topic. It doesn’t matter where you steer—just yank the wheel. If you’re a novice, turn the discussion to yourself: your history, fears, afflictions, regrets, or heroes. With some practice, you’ll be ready for the next level: introducing issues that appear to be on-topic. For example, when studying one of Paul’s prayers, question how prayer works instead of discussing the substance of his prayer.
Achieve expert status by using controversial topics. Season your remarks with hot-button issues for maximum distraction. Be careful not to visit the same well too often lest you become the end-times guy and your leader nip your efforts in the bud.
Shut Down the Discussion
If you’re serious about ruining a conversation, put yourself above the group. Here are two ways to assert your importance.
First, monopolize the discussion. When the leader asks a question, jump right in. Ramble through your responses, and leave little time for others. (Pro tip: Avoid eye contact with your leader. Good leaders can warn monopolizers with a look.)
Second, spurn the discussion. Broadcast your disdain lest anyone think you’re just quiet. Hold your head in your hands. Sigh. Yawn. Communicate that the questions are either ridiculous or beneath you. Create a distraction without going so far that you’re asked to leave.
Starve the Discussion
Lively, significant discussions need an engaged, honest group. A wise leader will start the game of catch, but he shouldn’t need the ball often.
To maim the discussion, keep the dialogue shallow. Don’t listen to others or follow up after any responses. Push the conversation in academic or intellectual directions. Insulate yourself and others from applying the Bible or discovering where application is needed.
Cripple the Discussion
It’s time for your trump card. Instead of just being impolite, the most insidious way to demolish a small group discussion is to misuse the Bible.
Ignore your Bible. Give your “gut response” to questions. Talk about “what the passage means to me.” Don’t ask anyone to justify their answer from the Bible, and learn to deflect if this question comes to you.
Give Sunday school answers. Most answers in a first-grade Sunday School class are either “God,” “sin,” “love,” “trust in Jesus,” “be nice to my sister,” or “obey my parents.” Grab some of these or their grown-up equivalents (“read the Bible,” “focus on the Lord”), and let the clichés commence. Offer Christian-sounding responses without the trouble of engaging the text.
Invoke your Bible’s study notes. Don’t use the notes as an aid—assert them as a final authority. This is most effective when the notes contradict a recent response.
Chase cross references. When your leader asks an interpretive question, blurt out some verses from your Bible’s cross references. Don’t look at the context; you only need the same English word in both places.
Don’t study the Bible. As a summary, this suggestion is your most powerful tool. Make sure that you don’t observe, interpret, or apply the Bible with any care or concern. Also, stay away from certain blogs that promote these behaviors.
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