To get unstuck from bad patterns, you should do whatever it takes to get wisdom. But where can you find it?
Hear, my son, and accept my words,
That the years of your life may be many.
I have taught you the way of wisdom;
I have led you in the paths of uprightness.
When you walk, your step will not be hampered,
And if you run, you will not stumble.
Keep hold of instruction; do not let go;
Guard her, for she is your life.
Do not enter the path of the wicked,
And do not walk in the way of the evil.
Avoid it; do not go on it;
Turn away from it and pass on.
For they cannot sleep unless they have done wrong;
They are robbed of sleep unless they have made someone stumble.
For they eat the bread of wickedness
And drink the wine of violence (Prov 4:10-17).
In this section, Solomon explains that there are only two possible trajectories in life: toward wisdom (Prov 4:11-13) or wickedness (Prov 4:14-17). If you are not on one path, you are on the other. Do you see why he just instructed us to do whatever it takes to get wisdom? The alternative is not worth it!
On the path of wisdom, you are more likely to live longer (Prov 4:10), honor God (Prov 4:11), avoid obstacles (Prov 4:12), and find life (Prov 4:13). On the path of wickedness, you are likely to find plenty of companionship (Prov 4:14-17) but not much else.
Notice how those on the way of evil end up becoming addicted to evil. Doing the wrong thing is the wicked person’s sedative (Prov 4:16) and sustenance (Prov 4:17); he just can’t live without it. He suffers from the worst kind of substance abuse.
Solomon is not saying that every person on this path is that evil; he’s saying that everyone on this path is on the way to becoming that evil. By illustrating the end of the road, he warns us to stay away. He’s like a police officer cautioning a teenage driver not to speed – not because every instance of speeding will produce disaster; but because, as he grows more reckless, he brings himself closer to the impending disaster without realizing it.
What’s the point? You can’t toy with evil. You shouldn’t make friends with folly. Trusting yourself is never a good idea. The way to life is found in hearing and accepting God’s words (Prov 4:1). You can’t keep doing what you’re doing and hope to get unstuck. You’ve got to turn (Prov 4:15) and make a radical break from the norm before you’ll experience lasting change. Once you do, however, the way forward often becomes clear and effective.
An Example
What does it look like to choose the road to life?
My friend Angie[1] struggled with manipulative, overbearing parents. She had become a Christian in college, and they did everything in their power to turn her back. They cut off her funding. They threatened to disown her. They prohibited contact with her siblings. She feared for her well-being and for her relationships. She felt truly stuck.
Angie’s instinct was to return to old patterns. She could give in by visiting on weekends and skipping church on Sunday. She could stop talking about faith in Christ. She could obey her parents’ every whim about who her friends could be, how to spend her money, and whether to be sexually active.
As she sought the Lord for counsel, however, she came to him with a listening ear and a teachable heart. She realized that things with her parents might get worse before they could get better, but that she had to honor the Lord and seek wisdom at all costs. She feared the Lord, and found hope that things could change.
The situation did in fact get worse. Angie’s parents did disown her. She had to move herself and her belongings to an undisclosed location and communicate with her parents through hand-written letters sent from her church’s address. Her church elders involved the police at appropriate times.
After a few years, however, walls started to come down. The heat calmed and healthy communication resumed. Her siblings grew to adulthood and found hope that they, too, could turn aside from bad patterns in the family. Some of them came to faith in Christ as a result. Her parents began attending church and hearing the gospel. One of them came to faith, and the other one is now actively considering Christ’s claims. Jesus broke in and brought life to this family, because this one young lady was willing to hold fast to him.
You, too, can get unstuck from whatever difficulties you face. Are you willing to choose the road to life?
This post was first published in 2013 and is part of a series walking through Proverbs 1-9.
[1] I’ve changed names and a few details to protect anonymity.
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