So there you are, emotionally reading through Genesis 3…

You boo as the serpent comes on the scene, eager to destroy God’s good creation. You cry out to the woman to not listen to him! You cringe as she takes that terrible, terrible bite of the forbidden fruit. You tremble with the first two humans as they try to hide from God as He approaches. You hang your head with them as God questions what they’ve done. For a moment, you feel immense joy and cheer as God pronounces the curses on the serpent and makes the first promise of a coming Messiah (Genesis 3:15). But then something strange happens…

To the woman [God] said,

“I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing;

in pain you shall bring forth children.

Your desire shall be for your husband,

and he shall rule over you.“

(Genesis 3:16 ESV, emphasis mine)

You mourn but nod as you understand the reasoning for childbirth being painful. But then suddenly God seems to say, “And now for the worst part… woman, you’re gonna desire your husband!”

Ummmm… right.

Thankfully, you’re a faithful Knowable Word reader, and you’ve just got done looking at the difficult text of Colossians 1:24. There you saw that even though Paul’s words were initially tricky to understand, you could look at another passage of Scripture (Philippians 2:25-30) that used the same words to help determine Paul’s meaning back in the Colossians passage. So you wonder, “Could a similar technique be used to clear up this odd verse?”

I’m glad you asked.

In this case, you only need to read a short distance further, to Genesis 4:

Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, “I have gotten a man with the help of the LORD.” And again, she bore his brother Abel. Now Abel was a keeper of sheep, and Cain a worker of the ground. In the course of time Cain brought to the LORD an offering of the fruit of the ground, and Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat portions. And the LORD had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his face fell. The LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.” (Genesis 4:1-7 ESV, emphasis mine)

Note God’s warning to Cain (which he doesn’t heed). He portrays sin as a predator crouching just outside Cain’s door. It desires him, all right, but not in the way a man desire a woman or vice-versa. Rather, this desire is more like the way that a lion desires a sheep. God is telling Cain that despite the ferocity of that predator, Cain must rule over it. The image here is of a lion tamer – at any moment, he is mere moments from catastrophe, yet he commands authority and the beast is subdued. Cain had that very option before him, but he did not “do well”.

So, with that lesson in mind, let’s return to Genesis 3:16. When God tells the woman that her “desire shall be for [her] husband, and he shall rule over [her]”, He isn’t saying that her curse is romantic desire for her husband, but rather that she will find herself, like the predator at Cain’s door, ready to “attack” or “master” her husband, but instead he will rule over her.

Now, that interpretation itself needs further interpretation, and indeed there are a number of views on what that means practically.  I think the simplest conclusion is this: the husband and wife in the garden, as well as today, tend to enter power struggles with each selfishly seeking to rule the other. Thankfully, the Scriptures also point us to hope in Christ, the perfect husband who rightfully rules over us, His bride, but doesn’t do so in a harsh or condescending manner; rather, He is the Husband who laid down His life for us, taking on Himself the full punishment that we deserved. Sin was crouching at our door, yet He was the one who went out to do battle with the beast in our place. What sacrificial love!

For further reading on the right role and role model for husbands and wives, consider Ephesians 5:21-32. God is far from silent on the topic of marriage, and He deeply desires that we know Him – and our spouses – still more through His knowable Word.