How to Resist Sexual Immorality

Christian Mayrhofer (2009), Creative Commons

We know easy sex will keep us from being wise. We know it will beat us down and knock us out. We know it can’t deliver what it promises.

But we still struggle with it because we’re prone to get the order of things all wrong. In the moment of temptation, we set aside the true God and bow to the god of self. We live for our comfort, our pleasure, our escape, our desire.

In those moments, we think truth becomes relative. Righteousness becomes undesirable. God appears absent. Self-actualization is everything.

Thus, Solomon’s counsel for resisting immorality doesn’t land where we usually land. We want to know what is the best internet filtering software. We want to find others who will hold us accountable.

But Solomon gets radical. He shows us how to restore things to their proper order, so we might bow to none but him who is all in all. What would it look like for you to live for such a gracious Master?

1. Guard the Commands

My son, keep your father’s commandment,
and forsake not your mother’s teaching. (Prov 6:20)

The word “keep” involves not only obeying but also guarding. Keep room in your life for time with Christ in his word. Participate actively in opportunities to hear the word and be known by others who will speak the word to you.

You will protect and defend what is most important to you. If your pleasure is most important, you’ll always find a way to gratify it. But if the Lord’s pleasure is most important, you’ll find ways to bask in it.

And when you’re alone at night, after a stressful day, you’ll face that tantalizing choice—the choice that is always a choice, because you’re not an innocent victim. You don’t have to be a slave to what will kill you.

By the power of God’s Holy Spirit, you can choose one thing and not another. You can guard the commands, dive into the Scripture, and drown yourself in its glory. You can set aside your self-love.

2. Memorize the Word

Bind them on your heart always;
tie them around your neck. (Prov 6:21)

In the heat of temptation, God’s grace may lead you to remember that “He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself. He will get wounds and dishonor, and his disgrace will not be wiped away” (Prov 6:32-33). With the truth readily available to you, would it be easier to fight the lies?

And at just the right moments, the Lord might remind you to “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth” (Prov 5:18).

3. Serve the Lord

When you walk, they will lead you;
when you lie down, they will watch over you;
and when you awake, they will talk with you. (Prov 6:22)

We all serve something. We walk, lie down, and awake with our master’s will on our minds. As much as we like to think of ourselves as masters, we’re created to be servants.

Why not serve the best, most gracious Master? God promises you life, and he’s the only God who can actually give it. Idols can never give us what they promise.

You don’t need sex to make you happy. Whether you’re single, widowed, married to someone disobedient to the word, or married to a mature believer, you can bow to the lover of your soul and lay down your life for others as he did for you.

4. Annihilate the Folly

For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light,
and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life. (Prov 6:23)

Wisdom reproves you. Hear the rebuke and stop doing what you’re doing. You always have a choice.

Stop (Prov 1:22)! Turn (Prov 1:23)! I’ll give you my spirit (Prov 1:23)! Listen (Prov 2:1-2)! Call out (Prov 2:3-4)! Don’t forget (Prov 3:1)! Receive life (Prov 6:23)!

I have not lived as purely as I ought. Time and again, I fail to do what is right. What hope is there for struggling sinners like me?

“The reproofs of discipline are the way of life.” Do you want life? God delights to give it, so come to him and get your fill.