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You are here: Home / Archives for Counseling

Take Your Application Skills to the Next Level

March 22, 2024 By Peter Krol

One way to think about Bible application is to approach it as an individual seeking to make individual change. There is nothing wrong with that approach, as it can yield much fruitful application in your life.

Yet when you understand what God says about humanity broadly, you can take your application to the next level. Have you met someone whose insight could penetrate to the bottom of a sticky situation? Have you had a mentor who had a knack for identifying just what you needed to hear in a timely moment?

Chances are, such wise folks weren’t gifted with supernatural revelation about your particular situation. They likely had a firm grasp on what God’s word says about humanity as a whole. Then they could draw on that framework to make relevant application to particular situations. In other words, they had much biblical and practical wisdom.

You can develop that wisdom, too.

men s black jacket
Photo by DSD on Pexels.com

General Application to the Human Heart

Sometimes, your Bible application grows stale because you’ve run out of specific ideas of what to do in your own life. One solution to such staleness is to strap on a wide-angle lens and consider how your passage applies generally to the human heart.

We can make generalizations about the human heart because God has told us how the human heart works, as well as what the human heart needs. The purpose of such generalizations is not to presume upon any situation nor to put ourselves or others in a box. The purpose is to give us a framework from which to draw when we need to figure out what to do in a given situation.

And if you lead others in Bible study, drawing application from anthropological generalizations doesn’t mean you should make judgments about people’s struggles without understanding them as individuals. It just means that God has given you categories of things to look for and be aware of, both as you seek to disciple your own heart and as you lead others in Bible study.

Sometimes the most insightful teachers and wisest counselors—whose words penetrate most personally—are not those who have a deep relationship with you or even know you particularly well. No, often they simply understand the human condition and can therefore predict how the main point of a text might hit close to home in their generation.

According to Psalm 119:49-56, you can trust God’s words in a way you can’t trust anyone else’s words. This means that knowing what God says about people is more valuable than knowing what people (even experts) say about people.

This is my comfort in my affliction, 
that your promise gives me life. 
The insolent utterly deride me, 
but I do not turn away from your law. 
When I think of your rules from of old, 
I take comfort, O Lord. 

Psalm 119:50-52

And according to Psalm 119:97-104, the student who loves the law surpasses his teachers. This means that God’s word will equip you with more profound application skills than any teacher can offer.

Your commandment makes me wiser than my enemies, 
for it is ever with me. 
I have more understanding than all my teachers, 
for your testimonies are my meditation. 
I understand more than the aged, 
for I keep your precepts. 

Psalm 119:98-100

Application to our Application

So what can we bank on, as we consider how a text applies to the human heart generally? What does God’s word say about what it’s like to be human? Let me give you eight points to guide your Bible study.

  1. Humans were created to be different from every other creature.
  2. Humans tried (and therefore still try) to replace God.
  3. We need God’s law to show how great our sin is, and to show how life in God’s world works best.
  4. We need God’s law to help us find Jesus.
  5. People tend to misuse God’s law in one of two ways.
  6. We have seen a perfect man, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world.
  7. We live in the tension of overlapping ages.
  8. We long for a better world.

These eight ideas don’t capture an exhaustive doctrine of humanity. Nor are all eight present in every text. But they give you a framework of what to look for when the time comes to consider application.

These general principles can be fleshed out in great detail for the rest of our lives and the rest of history. We’ll always find new points of connection to the particular lives of particular men and women on Planet Earth.

But these are the sorts of things we ought to keep in mind so we can look out for them in our application. In the coming months, I’ll give each of these eight points its own post (linked above) to unpack it further and demonstrate how it assists with Bible application.

Filed Under: Method Tagged With: Application, Bible Study, Counseling, Humanity, Leadership

The Cost of Withholding Kindness

May 21, 2021 By Peter Krol

Most people don’t walk around with nails in their heads, but that doesn’t stop us from having this sort of conflict.

Have you felt this tension between fixing problems and listening with kindness? I have such conversations often, and I’m confident I’m not alone. In fact, Job 6-7 takes up this very matter in great detail.

Context

Job was the greatest of all the people of the east, but he fell prey to a wager between God and Satan. The Accuser is convinced Job doesn’t fear God but merely loves the good things God has given him. The Creator disagrees, and he lets Satan ruin Job’s whole life to prove it. Job, of course, knows none of this. He knows only how much it hurts when he loses possessions, servants, and children all in a day, and then develops a debilitating skin condition to boot.

Job stews for seven days before unleashing a bitter curse against the day of his birth and a series of agonized questions: Why did I not die? Why do I have to endure this? Why is this happening to me? (See Job 3:1-26.)

In chapters 4-37, a few friends try to help by answering Job’s questions. People commonly skip these chapters, boiling them down to a moral or two, and rush to the juicy bits where God speaks in chapters 38-42. But in studying these chapters lately, I’ve discovered how much the Lord has for me to learn about what it looks like to fear God in extreme situations, while processing (or helping others) through extreme emotions.

For example, Job’s response (Job 6-7) to Eliphaz’s first speech (Job 4-5) highlights the weighty costs of withholding kindness out of a wish to fix the person’s problem. The key verse:

He who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty. (Job 6:14)

What are the costs of withholding such kindness?

1. We inflame volatile emotions

The video above portrays it perfectly with its closing shots of mutual exasperation. After Job 3, I didn’t think Job’s sorrow could get any worse, but apparently I was wrong.

“You think I’m vexed [referring to Eliphaz’s accusation in Job 5:2]? I must not have been clear. My words have been rash. My vexation can’t be weighed!” (Job 6:2-3, my paraphrase)

“God’s hand in my life is like bitter poison and indigestible food” (Job 6:4-7).

“I hope God kills me now before I say anything truly stupid. Better to die without having denied the words of the Holy One, than to go on living in such pain” (Job 6:8-13).

2. We forsake the fear of the Almighty

Job makes this very accusation in Job 6:14. His friends are like a temporary stream bed resulting from the springtime thaw from the mountains. When he’s thirstiest in the heat of summer, it has dried up and offers no refreshment. “For you have now become nothing” (Job 6:21). Job never asked for their help; he doesn’t want them to fix his problems (Job 6:22-23). He just wants some kindness.

Why does withholding kindness cause one to forsake the fear of the Almighty? Because fixing the problem is the work of God. Trying to fix a problem—against a sufferer’s will—means trying to take God’s place. Fearing God means trusting him to work in his timeline. And such fear empowers us to turn aside from fixing (Job 6:29) and focus instead on listening (Job 6:14, 28).

3. We raise defenses

Job has open ears. He’s willing to hear any specific charges of wrongdoing his friends might bring (Job 6:24). But if they do nothing but reprove his words, they are reproving the wind (Job 6:25). Extending kindness means not taking everything said by sufferers at face value. It means giving them the freedom to process extreme emotions without being corrected at every point.

If we don’t listen, they won’t think we’re listening. If they don’t think we’re listening, they won’t think we understand. If they don’t think we understand, they won’t trust our advice anyway. So why do we rush so quickly into offering unsolicited advice, when kindness demands we zip our lips and lend our ears? Withhold this kindness, and the sufferer’s defenses will rise tall and impenetrable.

4. We fuel hopelessness

At this point in the book, Job still trusts his friends. (By chapter 27, he’ll wish God’s eternal judgment on them.) So he lets them in. He’s honest about how he truly feels. And so far, they’ve only made it worse.

He has no hope in life (Job 7:1-6), and he predicts imminent death (Job 7:7-10). By day, he toils without respite, and by night, he tosses endlessly until dawn.

His perspective has gotten worse, not better, since chapter 3. The lack of kindness from his friends has not helped.

5. We miss the real issue

In his pain, Job feels lonely. There is nobody to share the pain, nobody who extends him kindness. And this loneliness leads to the greatest cost of all.

Job removes all restraint and speaks the fullness of his anguish (Job 7:11). He directs his anguish toward the “watcher of mankind” who has made of Job a target (Job 7:20). He speaks to the one who terrifies him with visions (Job 7:14) and who alone has the power to pardon his transgression (Job 7:21). Clearly Job speaks no longer to Eliphaz but to God.

And he has two prayer requests (Job 7:16):

  1. That I would not live forever.
  2. That you would leave me alone!

Job shows us that what matters the most is his relationship with God. The good news is that his suffering, so far, is taking him closer to God and not farther from God. He goes directly to God with his pain, his feelings, and his requests. This is true faith and a true fear of God.

But the 3 friends who focus on fixing Job’s problems have missed the opportunity to help Job draw near to his God. They are just like Jesus’ 3 friends who failed to show him kindness (falling asleep in Gethsemane!) when he most needed it. But Jesus paid the cost of their withheld kindness, and he did it so God could never withhold his kindness from us.

Filed Under: Sample Bible Studies Tagged With: Counseling, Job, Kindness, Suffering

Don’t Mistake the Support for the Mainframe

December 24, 2014 By Peter Krol

I appreciate the reflections in this article about the centrality of the Word in discipleship. When someone comes to you with a struggle, is your first recommendation to offer them a Christian book on a topic? Or are you steeped enough in Scripture that you can take them directly to that which will offer the most help?

This Christmas, may we remember the greatest gift God has given us: himself. And may our passions be renewed to know him as he has revealed himself: through his word.

Check it out!

Filed Under: Check it Out Tagged With: Counseling, Discipleship, Practical Theology for Women

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