Proverbs | Knowable Word

Detailing the Consequences of Immorality

September 23, 2013 By Peter Krol

This week we continue our study of the illusion of sexual freedom.

And now, O sons, listen to me,
And do not depart from the words of my mouth.
Keep your way far from her,
And do not go near the door of her house,
Lest you give your honor to others
And your years to the merciless,
Lest strangers take their fill of your strength,
And your labors go to the house of a foreigner,
And at the end of your life you groan,
When your flesh and body are consumed,
And you say, “How I hated discipline,
And my heart despised reproof!
I did not listen to the voice of my teachers
Or incline my ear to my instructors.
I am at the brink of utter ruin
In the assembled congregation” (Prov 5:7-14, ESV).

Notice that the command to listen is repeated once again (Prov 5:7). Don’t let its familiarity cause you to hurry past it. Let it remind you of your need for help from outside yourself. Ask any recovering addict: You will not win this battle on your own.

Rochelle Hartman (2011), Creative Commons

Avoid immorality at all costs (Prov 5:8). Otherwise it will cause you to:

Lose your best years (Prov 5:9). The springtime of life could be spent on serving the Lord and growing his kingdom. Don’t give that up.
Squander your strength and the fruit of your labor (Prov 5:10). You’ll spend all your energy coping with your sin. Wouldn’t you rather have something else to look back on as your life’s work?
Regret all the waste and its wreckage (Prov 5:11). The night before I graduated from college, a hall mate asked if I had any regrets. I looked back over those four years, and with full honesty said, “No.” I hadn’t done everything perfectly, but the Lord had given me rest in him and in his work in my life. That night, I committed to living the rest of my life with the end in mind. I don’t regret that choice one bit.
Stagger from all of the guilt (Prov 5:12). You’ll finally identify the foolishness in your heart and the damaging behavior it led to. The weight of it will sink in.
Cower beneath all the shame (Prov 5:13). You’ll realize the problem wasn’t that you didn’t have enough information, but that you didn’t have enough conviction.
Despair at the public disgrace (Prov 5:14). You could be “that guy who ran off with the girl” back at your home church. I regret many indiscretions of my teen years. One particular incident came to light just before my high school graduation and crushed the respect a younger sister in Christ had for me. Her parting words – “How could you?” – remain etched in my memory.

I want to make two things very clear. First, we must not minimize the consequences of our sin. Consider: Is it worth it? Decide now, not when temptation happens. We also must not buffer others from the consequences of their sin. God saves sinners – I am foremost! – by breaking all their hope to pieces, leaving none but Jesus (Mat 21:42-44, Rom 7:7-12). Don’t hinder any work of God by boxing out the truth.

Second, if this passage has discouraged you, please remember Proverbs 4: There is always hope that we can grow. Solomon depicts the end of immorality on purpose. He does it so we might change course before the end arrives. If you’re reading Solomon, it’s not too late for you. Just do nothing, and you’ll ruin all. Fear the Lord, and anything can change.

Share your struggles with pastors or wise leaders. Ask them to help you figure out what you desire (since what we do is always a result of what we desire). Many people turn to sexual immorality out of a desire for control (when life feels out of control), escape (when things are difficult), or acceptance (when they feel rejected by those they care about most). Identify what God desires for you instead (that you know him and find long life, peace, pleasantness, etc.), and ask him to help you change. Then turn from your sinful desires and grasp new, godly desires. Once wisdom changes who you are, it will flow into everything you do.

The Death of Immorality

September 16, 2013 By Peter Krol

Sexual freedom is an illusion, because immorality is not as pretty as it seems.

But in the end she is bitter as wormwood,
Sharp as a two-edged sword.
Her feet go down to death;
Her steps follow the path to Sheol;
She does not ponder the path of life;
Her ways wander, and she does not know it (Prov 5:4-6).

Last week, we saw that the “adulteress” is an image of all sexual immorality. Immorality has a sweet candy coating, but inside it’s a bitter pill (Prov 5:4). “Wormwood” is a plant with a bitter taste, and that’s what immorality is once you move past first impressions. I know a guy who works for a chemical company that works on both drugs and candy. He told me that the outer shell on an M&M is the same thing as the shell on an Advil. Next time you have the chance, I dare you to chew the Advil.

Immorality leads only to death (Prov 5:5). The last thing it has in mind is our good (Prov 5:6a). In fact, it’s not even aware of the harm it causes (Prov 5:6b). Immorality is full of passion, but it’s clueless and self-defeating, like a pimply freshman inviting the homecoming queen over for video gaming.

How does this apply? Sexual immorality promises life, but the wise know it really gives death. We ought to be ready, especially for the battle of words. We have to expose immorality’s sweet-talk. We must remind ourselves of the truth. We need to talk about it often with others, to warn them. We unhinge its power when we strip it of its secrecy.

In 2008, pastor Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church in Seattle shared some astonishing statistics about sexual immorality in America.

Pornography is a $60-billion a year annual industry globally. Twelve billion of that is spent by Americans…This is more money than is spent on pro-baseball, basketball and football combined…Over 200 porn films are made in the U.S. every week. That’s more than one an hour. Porn sites are 12 percent of all Internet sites. Porn is 25 percent of all search engine requests…Every second $3,000 is spent on porn in America. Twenty-eight thousand Internet users are viewing porn every second in America, and 372 Internet users every second in America are typing in words looking for more porn. Ninety percent of children between the ages of 8 and 16 have viewed porn online. The average child sees porn for the first time at age 11 online, usually inadvertently.

Death surrounds us, and it’s covered in pretty makeup and stage lighting. We must talk about it frankly yet graciously, for no one who indulges in it will go unharmed.

Appearances are Deceiving, Especially When Hormones are Involved

September 9, 2013 By Peter Krol

The cultural ideal of “sexual freedom” is an illusion. Don’t be fooled.

My son, be attentive to my wisdom;
Incline your ear to my understanding,
That you may keep discretion,
And your lips may guard knowledge.
For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey,
And her speech is smoother than oil (Prov 5:1-3)

Solomon begins Proverbs 5 with another reminder to listen to his wisdom (Prov 5:1). If we don’t passively receive and actively seek instruction in the sexual realm, we endanger our lives. Once we receive it through our ears, we ought to “keep discretion” (presumably in our hearts, as Prov 4:21 advises). Then it changes who we are, affecting what we do, especially with our “lips” (Prov 5:2). Our lips must guard knowledge because honey drips from the forbidden woman’s lips. Her speech is so smooth, it makes oil seem irritating, so we ought to be ready (Prov 5:3).

Daniel Lobo (2006), Creative Commons

Before continuing, let’s clarify who the “forbidden woman” is. Remember that Proverbs is a work of poetic wisdom literature. As poetry, it makes liberal use of imagery to evoke an emotional reaction, but, as wisdom literature, it assumes we’ll think hard about what we’re reading. Earlier in Proverbs, Solomon exaggerated the portraits of his characters: the bumbling gang of thieves (Prov 1:10-19), Lady Wisdom the mocking street preacher (Prov 1:20-33), the adulteress whose house sinks through the ground into the grave (Prov 2:16-19), and the sleep-deprived, ferocious evildoers (Prov 4:14-17).

Solomon paints such an exaggerated picture of his subject to strengthen his point. He takes a character type and vividly describes the worst-case scenario for that type, thus including all variations of explicitness and severity. For example, in describing the violent gang, Solomon critiques all who want to get more stuff at the expense of others (Prov 1:19). Through Wisdom’s speech, Solomon warns not only those who have already harmed themselves but also everyone who loves being simple (Prov 1:22). When he warns against joining ravenous evildoers, he warns us to avoid their highway, not just their particular rest stop. We shouldn’t risk even entering it (Prov 4:14).

Who then is the “forbidden woman” in Proverbs 5? She includes loose women who tire of their husbands, but she ultimately represents every enticement to sexual immorality that you and I, whether male or female, experience. Solomon is clear about this fact when he broadens his final applications to include not just adulterers, and not just sexually immoral people, but all “the wicked” who show “great folly” (Prov 5:22-23). Whatever your gender, age, or marital status, this chapter of Proverbs applies to you. In fact, this chapter can help if your temptation involves the opposite sex, the same sex, solo sex, or images on a computer monitor. The “forbidden woman” still drips her honey at you, and you had better watch out. Therefore, for the sake of clarity, I’ll use the word “immorality” in future posts to refer to the opponent Solomon has in mind.

The Illusion of Sexual Freedom

September 2, 2013 By Peter Krol

Sex is a polarizing concept. It began beautifully when husband and wife were naked and unashamed (Gen 2:25), but it went downhill when they decided to love themselves more than God or each other (Gen 3:5, 7, 12, 22). Ever since, we’ve been terribly confused.

joanneteh_32 (2009), Creative Commons

We need much wisdom to navigate between the proud lewdness of our culture and the traditional prudishness of Christians. Both sides represent a foolish oversimplification of what God intends sexuality to be, and the simple can get caught in the middle. And confusion multiplies when culture is prudish and Christians are lewd. Or when prudish Christians speak about sex as lewdly as the culture does. Or lewd Christians feign prudishness to fit in. How can the simple find their way?

In chapter 5 of Proverbs—which we’ll examine over the next few weeks—Solomon provides wisdom in the sexual realm. He suggests that not all is as it seems (Prov 5:1-6) and that the wrong choices have dire consequences (Prov 5:7-14). Utter unselfishness in the context of marital love is surprisingly intoxicating (Prov 5:15-20), and those who think they know satisfaction better than God does have sprung their own trap (Prov 5:21-23).

Change, Part 3: Wisdom Comes Out the Fingertips

August 26, 2013 By Peter Krol

Wisdom comes in the ears, through the heart, and out the fingertips. This week, we explore the last step in the chain.

Put away from you crooked speech,
And put devious talk far from you.
Let your eyes look directly forward,
And your gaze be straight before you.
Ponder the path of your feet;
Then all your ways will be sure.
Do not swerve to the right or to the left;
Turn your foot away from evil (Prov. 4:24-27).

Hans Kylberg (2007), Creative Commons

The last step in the formula takes place when wisdom moves from the heart and out through our fingertips. These verses speak of “speech,” “talk” (Prov. 4:24), “eyes,” “forward,” “gaze” (Prov. 4:25), “ponder,” “path,” “feet,” “ways” (Prov. 4:26), “right,” “left,” and “foot” (Prov. 4:27). Solomon clearly has in mind everything we do, so I’ll use the image of “fingertips,” out of which seep our everyday choices.

Once wisdom changes who we are, it inevitably affects everything we do. As we listen to wisdom and seek it out, we must consider both how it can sink in more deeply (the heart) and how it can shape us more broadly (the fingertips). What would it look like for you to request help with your money, marriage, singleness, career path, parenting, cooking, hospitality, leadership potential, education, job performance, spiritual life, outreach, eating habits, hobbies, Bible study skills, love life, communication, decision-making process, and vision for life? In which other areas would you like to grow in wisdom? Where are you stuck in difficult situations or bad patterns? Remember: Wisdom has to come in the ears, through the heart, and out the fingertips.

It doesn’t matter what candidates for change you have in mind. It doesn’t matter if it’s a new skill to develop or an old habit to break. It doesn’t matter if there’s exquisite joy or agonizing pain. It doesn’t matter if your history is one of failure or of success.

What matters is that God wants you to change for the better, and he’s throwing the full weight of his resources behind the change movement. Jesus rose from the grave so he could make all things new. If you fear the Lord, you have much reason to hope for the best.

One of my children often used to say “I give up” when something was too hard. I say to you what I often said to that child: “That’s the one thing you must never do. Jesus didn’t give up on you. Let’s trust him, and see what he can do next.”

SNEAK PEEK:

We often struggle with the greatest shame and defeat in the realm of sexual sin. Many people feel stuck there, so in Proverbs 5, 6, and 7, Solomon provides a mini-series on wise sexuality. We’ll begin the series next week by applying some Bible dynamite to calcified cultural stereotypes about sexuality.

Change, Part 2: Wisdom Comes Through the Heart

August 19, 2013 By Peter Krol

Wisdom comes in the ears, through the heart, and out the fingertips. This week, we explore the second step in the chain.

Let them not escape from your sight;
Keep them within your heart.
For they are life to those who find them,
And healing to all their flesh.
Keep your heart with all vigilance,
For from it flow the springs of life (Prov. 4:21-23).

Bill Ward (2009), Creative Commons

We find the second part of the formula in verses 21-23. When we plug in to God’s wisdom, and it enters our lives through the ears, we need to connect it to the motherboard. If we bypass the processor and run everything right off RAM, it has no longevity. The moment we power the computer down, we lose our data. We must keep the words within our hearts (Prov. 4:21) and keep our hearts with all vigilance (Prov. 4:23).

For the non-technical folk out there, what I just wrote means that when we hear wisdom, it won’t produce change in us until it affects who we are. “The heart” is one of the chief biblical images for our inner selves: thoughts, beliefs, emotions, character, desires, dreams, fears, and conscience.[1] “Heart” in the Old Testament might be what you got if you combined all the following modern-day terms: mind, will, heart, and conscience.

The Bible says that the heart is the command center from which we manage our lives. When we keep the wise words of life in our hearts (Prov. 4:21), they get passed on to the rest of the flesh (Prov. 4:22) because from the heart flow the springs of life (Prov. 4:23).

Any attempt to change that does not pass through the heart is therefore shallow and temporary. I can learn skills by rote, but I haven’t really changed if they haven’t changed who I am.

For example, if I study for a test, pass it, and quickly forget the material, I haven’t really learned it (it hasn’t hit my heart). If a child wrongs another child, is forced by an adult to apologize and does so sarcastically, we wouldn’t label it remorse. When a man tells his wife he loves her, but covertly keeps a mistress, we have reason to question whether his love is true. If a needy person requests charity from a church, the leaders are right to help relieve the immediate burden while also exploring whether the person could make different choices to avoid having the same need again.

The main point is that wisdom gets us unstuck and changes us by changing who we are.

[1] The other common image is “kidneys” as in Job 16:13, Psalm 139:13, Rev 2:23, etc.

Change, Part 1: Wisdom Comes in the Ears

August 12, 2013 By Peter Krol

Wisdom comes in the ears, through the heart, and out the fingertips (Prov. 4:20-27). This week, we explore the first step in the chain.

My son, be attentive to my words;
Incline your ear to my sayings (Prov. 4:20).

Sudarshan V (2008), Creative Commons

Verse 20 describes the first part of the formula. Wisdom enters through our ears. Solomon explained in 2:1-4 that our listening must involve both passively receiving and actively seeking. Here, he alludes to both components: “be attentive” involves reception, and “incline your ear” implies pursuit. We’ve been over this ground before, but we need to hear it many times for it to become second nature.

This part of the formula involves reading the Bible, hearing it preached in church, and seeking godly fellowship, among other things. The key idea is that wisdom comes from outside of us. You can’t find wisdom by looking within.

This idea is the opposite of Disney’s “follow your heart” ideology.

It conflicts with Obi-Wan Kenobi’s advice to “search your feelings.” It is altogether different from a self-esteem approach to education.

See Everything Change

August 5, 2013 By Peter Krol

If you memorize only one passage from all of Proverbs, it should be Prov 4:20-27. This passage outlines the process of change. It shows us how to get unstuck. It describes how wisdom works in us.

Ages ago, I defined wisdom as a continual striving to know and do what the Bible says. We’ve considered at length what it looks like for us to travel this path of wisdom; now we learn how wisdom travels its path in us.

Mark this formula:

Wisdom comes in the ears, through the heart, and out the fingertips.

Wisdom isn’t so much about what you do as it is about who you are. Miss this fact, and you’ll jump to chapters 10-31 and read each proverb moralistically (contrary to the expectation set up in Prov. 1-9). So Prov. 10:1 becomes about keeping your parents happy. Prov. 11:22 appears to mean that beauty is only skin deep. And Prov. 25:21-22 encourages you to be nice to people and wait out your revenge.

Mark Tighe (2009), Creative Commons

Such approaches are not completely wrong. But when we understand the process of change—and especially the need for wisdom to land in our hearts before taking off into our actions—we see the wise instruction of Prov. 10-31 for what it is: the description of redeemed and transformed people. Not a list of behaviors that win approval from God or men.

To illustrate: We have a problem with water in our basement. We fixed a downspout. We re-routed a gutter. We installed a removal/drain system. We’ve guided the water’s behavior in the right direction. And we’ve reduced the flood to a puddle, but we haven’t yet solved the problem.

We need to dig. We’ll have to remove the deck so we can re-grade the soil beneath it. We need to get to the foundation so we can brace it against the buckling pressure.

That’s how wisdom works. It comes from outside and gets under your skin and into your heart. It penetrates the depths of your character and beliefs. Then it works its way out into your actions. It comes in the ears, through the heart, and out the fingertips.

Over the next 3 weeks, we’ll walk through Prov. 4:20-27 and explore each piece of the formula in greater depth.

Be Aware of the Path You Follow

July 29, 2013 By Peter Krol

In Proverbs 4, Solomon explains how wisdom gives hope that anything can change. First, we must get wisdom at all costs. But to do so, we must know where to find it. Usually, remaining in bad patterns won’t help.

But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn,
Which shines brighter and brighter until full day.
The way of the wicked is like deep darkness;
They do not know over what they stumble (Prov 4:18-19, ESV).

Loco Steve (2007), Creative Commons

In Prov 4:18-19, Solomon circles back for one last contrast between the hope of the righteous and the despair of the wicked. The path of the righteous faces the sunrise. Things might be a little hazy for you now; but stay the course, and it will brighten. You’ll gain more clarity, more conviction, and thus more hope for continued change.

Spelio (2005), Creative Commons

If you choose the way of the wicked, you’re stuck in perpetual night. There’s a hint of mockery in the last line: “They do not know over what they stumble.” Those who tried to make others stumble (Prov 4:16) and failed against the righteous (Prov 4:12) now stumble themselves – without either realizing it or having any ability to remedy it. Folly and wickedness are both blinding and devastating, so, unfortunately, most travelers of this path don’t even understand the danger. As Waltke states:

The ignorance of both the nature and consequences of wickedness is the mark of absolute moral failure. [What they “stumble over”] refers to any agent that brings about the fatigue and death of the wicked. For example, many today see no connection between venereal disease and sexual immorality, between indulgent greed and national debt, between war and tribal thinking. Ultimately the agent is the LORD, who connects evil deeds with evil consequences. The wicked, however, cannot see the connection and die.[1]

Be aware of the path you follow, and know that what matters most is Christ. He endured the deepest darkness of God’s wrath so you could find life in him. If you stay where you are, things will never change. But in fearing the Lord, we have hope.

[1] Proverbs 1-15, pp.292-3. (Disclosure: This is an affiliate link, so if you click it and buy stuff from Amazon, your purchase will help support our site without any extra cost to you.)

An Example of Choosing the Road to Life

July 23, 2013 By Peter Krol

Yesterday we saw the importance of looking for wisdom on the right path. Today I’d like to show you what it looks like to do this.

Charlie Barker (2011), Creative Commons

My friend Angie[1] struggled with manipulative, overbearing parents. She had become a Christian in college, and they did everything in their power to turn her back. They cut off her funding. They threatened to disown her. They prohibited contact with her siblings. She feared for her well-being and for her relationships. She felt truly stuck.

Angie’s instinct was to return to old patterns. She could give in by visiting on weekends and skipping church on Sunday. She could stop talking about faith in Christ. She could obey her parents’ every whim about who her friends could be, how to spend her money, and whether to be sexually active.

As she sought the Lord for counsel, however, she came to him with a listening ear and a teachable heart. She realized that things with her parents might get worse before they could get better, but that she had to honor the Lord and seek wisdom at all costs. She feared the Lord, and found hope that things could change.

The situation did in fact get worse. Angie’s parents did disown her. She had to move herself and her belongings to an undisclosed location and communicate with her parents through hand-written letters sent from her church’s address. Her church elders involved the police at appropriate times.

After a few years, however, walls started to come down. The heat calmed and healthy communication resumed. Her siblings grew to adulthood and found hope that they, too, could turn aside from bad patterns in the family. Some of them came to faith in Christ as a result. Her parents began attending church and hearing the gospel. One of them came to faith, and the other one is now actively considering Christ’s claims. Jesus broke in and brought life to this family, because this one young lady was willing to hold fast to him.

You, too, can get unstuck from whatever difficulties you face. Are you willing to choose the road to life?

[1] I’ve changed names and a few details to protect anonymity.

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