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When Humility is not Easy (Prov. 3:27-35)

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It’s easy to forget humility and act like violent men when facing certain types of people.

1. Those who have hurt me deeply

Charlie Barker (2011), Creative Commons

Charlie Barker (2011), Creative Commons

James has this first group in mind when he quotes Proverbs 3:34 to instruct the community to stop quarreling (Jas. 4:1-12).  James argues that we each tend to love ourselves more than anyone else, so we fight for our rights.  In the course of such conflict, we get hurt and want to retaliate.  Instead, we must remember that our desires cannot give us what they promise.  So we must turn to the Lord, because he always gives more grace than the world does.  As we fear the Lord instead of focusing on ourselves, we become more humble people.  Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble” (Jas. 4:6).

2. Those who don’t deserve my trust

Peter has this second group in mind when he quotes Proverbs 3:34 to instruct the church to submit to the elders (1 Pet. 5:1-11).  Elders are shepherds of the flock of God, but they must never be mistaken for the Chief Shepherd.  When we put our leaders in the place of Jesus, they fail to deliver because they are neither divine nor sinless.  When they fail, we tend to become disillusioned, anxious for the future of the church, and proud in our own opinions.  Instead, we ought to fear the Lord more than we fear failure.  This makes us both humble and effective, for “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble” (1 Pet. 5:5).

3. All the rest

Paul has all of us in mind when he draws us back to Christ’s humility to empower our own (Phil. 2:1-18).  Does Christ encourage you?  Does his love comfort you?  Do you participate in his Spirit?  Has God shown any affection or sympathy toward you?  Jesus gave up what he deserved (his rights as God) and took on what he did not deserve (the role of a servant, the limitations of a human body, and the utter disgrace of death by crucifixion).  He did it to rescue you from what you deserve (God’s judgment) and to give you what you do not deserve (God’s pleasure).  Paul was so affected by Jesus’ humility that he was prepared to die himself if it meant his people would hold these truths more dearly.

Loving others wisely and humbly is not optional for followers of Christ.  It’s the meat and potatoes of living by faith in community with other sinners.  Wisdom must penetrate this crucial area of our lives.  The fear of the Lord is the beginning, and when you fear the Lord you can’t help but become like him.  That means dying for others, even if they’ve hurt you or if they don’t deserve it.  When Jesus’ humility grips you, it changes everything about you.  Don’t turn inward and deny yourself the opportunity to fear the Lord and know Jesus in his humility.  As Raymond Ortlund writes:

If you would like to experience God with that humility, here is how you can.  You look at the cross.  You see a wise man hanging there, dying in the place of fools like you, because he loves you.  You may despise him, but he does not despise you.  You may be above him, but he humbled himself for you.  Look there at him.  Look away from yourself.  Look at him, and keep looking until your pride melts.  You will not only worship, you will begin to grow wise.[1]

[1] Proverbs: Wisdom that Works, Kindle location 537-540.

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Why We Harm Others (Prov. 3:31)

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In seeking wise humility, we must not pridefully withhold good or plan evil against others.  To help us, the center of Proverbs 3:27-35 illuminates our motivations.

Do not envy a man of violence
And do not choose any of his ways (Prov. 3:31, ESV)

If God opposes the proud so severely, why would anyone ever choose such a path?  Because, Solomon reasons, we are tempted to envy violent people.

Derrick Davis (2008), Creative Commons

Derrick Davis (2008), Creative Commons

Remember our discussion about violent people from Proverbs 1:10-19?  The attraction to violence is that it will gain us more stuff.  And more stuff means improved security and increased community, or so we think.

We love ourselves enough to believe anything just to get a little satisfaction.  We’ll even believe that “love your neighbor as yourself” means that we first have to love ourselves.  Nowhere, however, does the Bible command us to love ourselves; it assumes that we already do.  Whenever we put ourselves at the center of the universe, we are choosing to act like violent men.  The antidote to such a poisonous choice is to fear the Lord, who really is at the center of the universe.  “Let not your heart envy sinners, but continue in the fear of the Lord all the day” (Prov. 23:17).

If you’re anything like me, you may have a hard time with this teaching.  I want to love people; I really do.  I’ll do whatever God wants me to do for most of the people in the world.  There are just a select few whom I can’t love.  In particular, there are those who have hurt me deeply, and those who don’t deserve my trust because of some failure on their part.

Next week, we’ll see how the New Testament applies Proverbs 3 to these situations.

God Opposes the Proud

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Wisdom is humble.  Humility means putting others first.  But why does it matter?

For the devious person is an abomination to the Lord,
But the upright are in his confidence.
The Lord’s curse is on the house of the wicked,
But he blesses the dwelling of the righteous.
Toward the scorners he is scornful,
But to the humble he gives favor.
The wise will inherit honor,
But fools get disgrace (Prov. 3:32-35, ESV).

R. Nial Bradshaw (2013), Creative Commons

R. Nial Bradshaw (2013), Creative Commons

This section has four statements about God’s perspective on those who obey or disobey the commands of Prov. 3:27-30.  The first three show first God’s displeasure toward the disobedient, followed by his favor toward the obedient.  The fourth statement reverses the order, signaling the end of the section.

The language here is not moderate.  “Abomination” (Prov. 3:32) may be the strongest possible term to express hatred.  The devious person, who builds himself up by tearing others down, is an object of God’s extreme hatred (Prov. 3:32).  The wicked, who ignores God’s instruction and goes his own way, is thwarted by God at every turn (Prov. 3:33).  Scorners, who always believe they know better than everyone else, receive the Lord’s scorn (Prov. 3:34).  Fools, who love simplicity and refuse to learn wisdom, become disgraceful examples of what not to do (Prov. 3:35).

What’s abominable to God is often distasteful to others as well.  I’m sure you’ve seen (or been) the person who’s so focused on himself that he brings his own disgrace.  Comedian Brian Regan, with surprising insight, cautions us to “Beware the Me Monster.”

I made the mistake of trying to tell a story about having only two wisdom teeth pulled, and I learned a lesson: Don’t ever try to tell a two-wisdom-teeth story because you ain’t goin’ nowhere.  The four-wisdom-teeth people are going to parachute in and cut you off at the pass.  ‘Halt!  Halt with your two-wisdom-tooth tale!’  You will never complete one; trust me.[1]

The “Me Monster” is the person who always focuses on himself.  Even the world recognizes how ugly this behavior is.

In contrast, the upright person, who imitates God’s pattern of selfless love, is brought into God’s intimate circle (Prov. 3:32).  The righteous one, who trusts in God’s provision and not his own performance, receives God’s backing for every endeavor (Prov. 3:33).  The humble person, who considers others more important than himself, is given favor from the Lord (Prov. 3:34).  The wise person, who never stops learning and loving, gets praise from the King of Heaven (Prov. 3:35).

God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.  These two roads lead in opposite directions, and there’s not much room between them.  Where do you fall?

[1] From Regan’s video I Walked On the Moon.

Do Not Plan Evil

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In teaching about wisdom and humility, Solomon’s first warning was against keeping what we have; this one is against taking what we want.

Do not plan evil against your neighbor,
Who dwells trustingly beside you.
Do not contend with a man for no reason,
When he has done you no harm (Prov 3:29-30, ESV).

Wise people put others first, protecting their well-being.  They don’t steal possessions by borrowing and not returning.  They don’t steal time by not listening well.  They don’t pick fights.  They don’t argue about meaningless things.  When a disagreement is significant, they work to persuade and woo, rather than coerce or manipulate.

Jozef N (2009), Creative Commons

Jozef N (2009), Creative Commons

“Do not contend” (Prov. 3:30) has a legal ring to it, referring to foolish lawsuits, but it implies much more than court proceedings.  We ought to avoid damaging someone’s reputation needlessly.  We ought to be as concerned for others’ reputations as we are for our own.  Wise people don’t spread the dirt on others (Prov. 20:19), refusing even to listen to it (Prov. 26:20-22).  Whenever they hear someone’s “concerns” about another person or group, they make sure to get the whole story before coming to any conclusions (Prov. 18:13, 17).

I must confess that I am guilty.  I have jumped to conclusions about others.  I have listened to bad reports, and I’ve spread them foolishly.  I haven’t always done my research, making sure to hear all sides of a matter.  I can think of times when my information was true, but still should not have been passed on (Prov. 25:7b-10).  I once prided myself on my ability to discern what needed to change for any person in any situation, and all along I was the one who most needed to change.

When we put ourselves at the center, we commit all kinds of evil against others, and we train ourselves to make it look good and religious.  We stop listening to the Word of Wisdom, and we listen instead to the world around us.  For example, I once sat innocently in a fast food restaurant, and my cup started preaching at me.  No joke.  It said:

This cup makes a statement about you.  It says, ‘Hey, look at me.  I’m an ambitious yet responsible person.’  You could have gone larger, but you didn’t.  You could have gone smaller, but again, you deferred.  No, you know exactly what you want in life, nothing more, nothing less.  It’s good when you have things your way.[1]

We fall for garbage like this all the time, but the Lord calls us out of a pat-yourself-on-the-back, you-know-what’s-best-for-you mindset.  When we fear him, being open to change, our focus steadily moves off ourselves and onto others.  Our pride melts, and loving others becomes our delight.  Before we know it, our relationship with the Lord hits fifth gear.

[1] Printed on the cup of a Burger King® medium-sized soft drink.

Do not Withhold Good, Part 2: Application

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There are many ways we can apply last week’s teaching on humility, but two especially come to mind for our generation.  We must not withhold truth in confrontation, and we must not withhold life in evangelism.

Confrontation

Sean Gannan (2008), Creative Commons

Sean Gannan (2008), Creative Commons

Let’s admit it: we simply don’t know how to do it well.  The Bible says, “You shall reason frankly with your neighbor” (Lev. 19:17), and I say, “but I don’t want to hurt his feelings.”  The Bible says, “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt” (Col. 4:6), and I say, “but I’d better let him have it.”  In other words, we usually make the Sucker’s Choice[1] between being truthful or being respectful, but the Bible commands us always to do both.  If we disagreed with each other more honestly and more respectfully, we’d make better decisions, resolve more conflicts, and build deeper relationships.  As William Blake wrote in “A Poison Tree,”

I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.

Evangelism

I’ll admit it: I generally don’t want to do it well.  It would mean I’d have less time for what I want to do.  I couldn’t hide behind my fears, nurturing them and helping them to flourish in my heart.  People might not like me.  It would be awkward and uncomfortable, and 5 minutes of comfort matter more to me than someone’s possible eternity in hell.  Can you relate?

Now I’m not trying to make you feel guilty.  No, my point is that you and I are guilty.  Jesus knew it, and he died for us anyway.  So we’re free to confess frankly, repent, and keep moving forward.

[1] Phrase borrowed from Patterson, et al, Crucial Conversations (New York: McGraw Hill, 2002).

Do Not Withhold Good Part 1: Principle

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Humility means putting other people first.  This discipline excludes a number of proud and self-protective behaviors.

Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due,
When it is in your power to do it.
Do not say to your neighbor, “Go, and come again,
Tomorrow I will give it”—when you have it with you (Prov 3:27-28, ESV).

Adam Fagen (2010), Creative Commons

Adam Fagen (2010), Creative Commons

“Do not withhold good.”  Easy, right?  It means you get out of the way when other drivers want to merge into your lane.  At least if they’re not too aggressive about it.  But who are those “to whom it is due”?  Believe it or not, this question requires wisdom, as we can easily fall into several self-justifying errors.

The first error is to define “those to whom it is due” so broadly that you invest all your time and resources in the wrong people.  There will always be poor and needy among us who require assistance.  Christ’s followers should be known as those who give and serve as generously as their Lord did.  But there are certain kinds of people who won’t be helped by our charity.  We ought to exercise discernment in such cases.

To give a few examples: Proverbs warns against angry people whom we ought not rescue (Prov. 19:19), gossiping people whom we ought not associate with (Prov. 20:19), and foolish people whom we ought not even try to convince (Prov. 23:9).  Don’t err by expending the Lord’s resources on the wrong people in the hope of being the kind of savior that only Jesus can be for them.  Solomon will return to this point in Proverbs 6:1-5, so I’ll expand on it there.

The second error, however, is to define “those to whom it is due” so narrowly that no mortal person could ever qualify.  In this case, we’re willing to help those who have real need; we just haven’t ever met any of them.  We’ll give money, as long as the person has a job, a history of successful financial management, and a foolproof system of accountability in place.  We act as though there is no room for mistakes with God’s resources.

Take note, however, that Solomon uses the word “neighbor” in Prov. 3:28, and the Bible suggests that “neighbor” is a pretty broad category.  (See Luke 10:25-37.)  We can’t justify our failure by obscuring what God has made clear.

Both errors result directly from pride.  The first one says “I can be Jesus for this person.”  The second one says, “Not even Jesus could help that person.”  In both, I put myself at the center, and I have not cultivated the fear of the Lord.

Wisdom and Humility

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James J Jenkins (2009), Creative Commons

James J Jenkins (2009), Creative Commons

Wisdom takes flight in relationships.  It begins with the fear of the Lord (Prov. 1:7), gains momentum through seeking and finding (Prov. 2:1-8), and accelerates when we resist easy money and easy sex (Prov. 2:12-19).  In order to gain altitude, however, wisdom must be lived out humbly in relationships with real people.  Let me give an example.

I recently received some sharp criticism of my leadership in a particular area.  The critic was a friend who wanted to help, but he overstated his position with unexpected severity.  I was hurt and offended.  I wanted to protect myself.  I had lost my security – someone’s good will – and had to muster my self-respect.  To prevent a total loss, I prepared a masterful retaliatory strike.

Without realizing it, I had come to a crossroads with two paths before me: Would I choose the way of wisdom or the decline to folly?  In other words, did I believe all this stuff I was writing about wisdom, the fear of the Lord, and openness to change?  Would I live the truth out in my words and thoughts?  Would I despise instruction or humbly receive correction?

We all face the same choice every day.  Whenever other people are involved, our decisions demonstrate either humble wisdom or self-reliant folly.  Will we fear the Lord, breeding true humility, thinking of others more than ourselves?  Or will we turn inward and love ourselves most of all?

C.S. Lewis wrote that humility doesn’t mean thinking less of yourself; it means thinking of yourself less.  In other words, both “I’m awesome” and “I’m a terrible person” are proud statements.  The humble person chooses simply not to focus on himself, positively or negatively.  The humble person puts others first, loving them at least as much as he loves himself.  Such a person models Jesus’ life-giving death.

In this section of Proverbs, Solomon prohibits a number of proud and self-protective behaviors (Prov. 3:27-30) and catalogues God’s opinions of people who engage in them (Prov. 3:32-35).   Like the previous section, this passage has a center (Prov. 3:31), which this time exposes the heart of our selfish behavior.

Find Your Satisfaction in Jesus

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court-gavel_0God’s example shows us the way of satisfaction.  His empowerment fuels our search for satisfaction.  But most importantly, his Son motivates our satisfaction and makes it possible, because he shows us that the Lord’s satisfaction is more important than our own.

Jesus satisfied God’s justice so we could be satisfied by his mercy.  Jesus filled himself with our sin so we could be filled with his righteousness.  Jesus is ready; we have only to ask for more of him, and we’ll be the most satisfied people on the planet: “Until now you have asked nothing in my name.  Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full” (John 16:24).  Wisdom pushes us toward the Lord to rub shoulders with his Son, who is our life.

If you are the unhappy romantic, you might look to Jesus’ example to show you how to love.  You might even ask for his Spirit to help you love rightly.  In the end, however, your only hope is to rest in the fact that Jesus already loves and respects you.  He suffered for your failure to obey him, and God treats you as his son or daughter – as though Jesus’ obedience were your own.

Drawing nearer to the Lord through the grace of Christ will melt your heart and conform it to his heart.  Then it won’t be so bad if you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend; all you’ll need is Christ.  If you do get hitched, you’ll do it for Jesus and not yourself, which is so much more satisfying.  It’s okay if another person lets you down, because Jesus never will.

I know someone who is totally satisfied with his life.  He has a high-powered professional career, a beautiful and delightful girlfriend, a lovely home in the heart of a large city, and a perfect home theater system.  He has plenty of golfing buddies.  His future looks good.  His goals are clear.  I love this man, and I pray that he’ll get to know Christ.  I’ve tried telling him the Good News, but how do you convince someone that he needs Jesus when he already has everything he wants?  What concerns me most is not that he wants too much, but that he doesn’t really want enough.  He settles for small corporeal pleasures, but doesn’t see that these things will end up letting him down.  Please pray for him, and for others you know like him, that his quest for satisfaction would culminate in the best place possible: with Jesus.

And let’s be the kind of people who turn to the Lord for our satisfaction and reflect his joy and glory in everything we do.

Satisfaction is God’s Design Part 3: Redemption

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To find satisfaction, we must follow God’s example and receive his provision.  But that’s not enough.  Here’s a third reason for looking to the Lord for satisfaction

3.  In redeeming all things, God became wisdom.

God’s example and God’s empowerment are wonderful things, but they are not enough to satisfy us with wisdom.  If God merely demonstrated and disbursed wisdom, it would be bad news for sinful people; God’s example would crush us, and his empowerment would condemn us.  So he didn’t leave it there.

Instead, he became wisdom for us.  The eternal God entered the world as a man, Jesus Christ, and he did for us what we could not do for ourselves: find and keep wisdom.  He showed us wisdom, he gave us wisdom, and best of all, he became our wisdom (1 Cor 1:30).

Jesus lived without a trace of foolishness and should have been rewarded with long life, riches, honor, pleasantness, and peace.  However, consider what he got:

"At the cross I bow my knee" by Demi-Brooke (2009), shared under a Creative Commons Attribution License

Demi-Brooke (2009), Creative Commons

  1. Instead of gaining long life, he died a premature death in our place.
  2. Instead of keeping riches (a close relationship with God), he was abandoned on the cross by his heavenly father.
  3. Instead of receiving honor, he experienced great shame in the physical nakedness of his crucifixion and the spiritual darkness of his substitution when he became sin for us.
  4. Instead of finding pleasantness (a straight path to God), he was cut off from fellowship with the one he loved most.
  5. Instead of enjoying peace, he was attacked by God and men.

Yet in dying our death, he brought us life: “For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Cor 5:21).  After God accepted Jesus’ sacrificial death on our behalf, he raised Jesus up:

  1. He came back from the dead, acquiring an indestructible life.
  2. His relationship with God (true riches) was restored, and he took his seat at God’s right hand.
  3. His shame gave way to unprecedented honor, for every knee will bow at his name.
  4. The pleasantness (unhindered straightness) of his way to God was restored.  And this restoration is not just for him, but also for all who love him.
  5. As was foretold at his birth, he brought glory to God in heaven and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased.

In short, Jesus lived wisely, and we could not; so he took our place.  Upon doing so, he suffered the consequences of our foolishness, so that we who are fools could reap the satisfying rewards of his wisdom.  Such is wisdom: Accept God’s rescue.

10 NT Books that Don’t Quote the OT

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I recently finished a read-through of the Bible, during which I kept track of every instance the New Testament quotes an Old Testament passage.

Photo Credit: Kladcat (2012), shared under a Creative Commons Attribution License

Photo Credit: Kladcat (2012), shared under a Creative Commons Attribution License

I counted only direct, explicit quotations, such as those introduced with “it is written,” or “as it says in the Law of Moses.”  I gave some leniency, allowing clear quotations on the list even if introduced by a mere “for.”

I did not include any mere allusions or references to people or events in the Old Testament.  I don’t think such allusions are unimportant; I just think they can be difficult to measure.  For example, Matthew 2:23, NASB looks, smells, and tastes like a quote.  It has quotation marks (at least in most English versions other than the ESV).  It even references “what was spoken through the prophets.”  You can’t really get a better introductory formula than that.  But which passage is Matthew quoting?  Search me.  No-one seems to know.  It’s more likely that Matthew is referring to the principle of a low-born, humble Messiah than to any specific passage.  So, I excluded Matt 2:23 from the list.  One unfortunate result is that books like 2 Peter, Jude, and Revelation, which contain Old Testament allusions in almost every verse, are almost completely absent from the list.

This list has 10 NT books that don’t ever explicitly quote the OT.  I’m not suggesting that these books don’t reference the OT or care about it.  I’m not suggesting that you can understand these books without understanding the OT.  I’m simply observing that the authors of these books didn’t explicitly quote specific verses to support their points.

Of all the lists I’ve posted so far, I’m least convinced that this one has much practical usefulness.  These books are full of allusions to the OT, even though they don’t explicitly quote it.  But, I’m giving you the list more for the sake of closure than anything else.

  1. Philippians

  2. Colossians

  3. 1 Thessalonians

  4. 2 Thessalonians

  5. Titus

  6. Philemon

  7. 1 John

  8. 2 John

  9. 3 John

  10. Revelation

Now you can’t accuse me of ever withholding information. For the raw data listing every quotation, see the resources page.

Update February 2019: I removed 2 Timothy from this list and changed the title of the post from “11 Books” to “10 Books,” because I’ve become convinced that, in 2 Timothy 2:19, Paul is quoting, albeit loosely, not from some early Christian sayings but from Numbers 16:5 and Numbers 16:26. I’ve also made the addition to the master spreadsheet.