Proverbs | Knowable Word

10 Reasons to Avoid Sexual Immorality

March 3, 2014 By Peter Krol

To make this point, Solomon lists ten consequences of sexual immorality in Proverbs 6:24-35. Before reading my list, I urge you to read the passage yourself and see how many consequences you can observe. Perhaps making your own list will help you to remember these things when you face temptation.

1. You’ll participate in evil

To preserve you from the evil woman,
from the smooth tongue of the adulteress. (Prov 6:24, ESV)

Immorality is evil, and temptation is an invitation to do evil. But wisdom preserves the wise from evil. When you believe the smooth and deceitful promises of immorality, you choose guilt by association: You are now evil as well.

2. Your desire will take you captive

Do not desire her beauty in your heart,
and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes. (Prov 6:25)

Victor Casale (2012), Creative Commons

It was for freedom that Christ has set you free, but immorality seeks to enslave you. Capitulation will become easier and easier. Resistance will become more and more difficult. Far better for you to rid your heart of these fantasies while you can.

3. You’ll lose everything

For the price of a prostitute is only a loaf of bread,
but a married woman hunts down a precious life. (Prov 6:26)

The cost begins low: only a loaf of bread. But with diminishing returns, you’ll need to give more and more until your very life is forfeit. Immorality hooks you while it’s cheap. A glance here, a touch there. But before you know it, you can’t sleep without sexual release. You simply can’t keep your hands off, and you’ll lose everything in the process.

4. Your punishment is inevitable

Can a man carry fire next to his chest
and his clothes not be burned?
Or can one walk on hot coals
and his feet not be scorched?
So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife;
none who touches her will go unpunished. (Prov 6:27-29)

You can’t tinker with immorality and hope to escape. You may be able to cover it up for a time, but you will eventually be found out. God sees everything, and he is a consuming fire.

5. You can’t repay what you’ve stolen

People do not despise a thief if he steals
to satisfy his appetite when he is hungry,
but if he is caught, he will pay sevenfold;
he will give all the goods of his house…
[A jealous husband] will accept no compensation;
he will refuse though you multiply gifts. (Prov 6:30-31, 35)

The point is not to justify theft, but to condemn sexual immorality. People can understand a thief’s motives, though they still make him repay what he stole. How much less will they understand you when they find you out?

Perhaps you rob your present or future spouse of your best love and attention. Maybe you steal someone’s innocence. Or perhaps you continue supporting the horrific porn industry, which destroys young women and holds them captive. Pictures are never harmless; we must not lie to ourselves.

6. You’ll lack sense

He who commits adultery lacks sense. (Prov 6:32a)

There goes wisdom and, along with it, life and peace and satisfaction and joy.

7. You’ll destroy yourself

He who does it destroys himself. (Prov 6:32b)

We do it because it feels good. But, like an alcoholic who destroys his liver, or a smoker who disregards his lungs, we kill ourselves with good feelings. Easy sex is all about self-gratification, but Jesus said that he who loves himself loses himself. Wisdom pierces these feelings to find the truth.

8. You’ll create your own wounds

He will get wounds… (Prov 6:33)

It’s like touching a hot stove. Or using credit cards to spend money you don’t have. Or picking a scab. Or playing hopscotch on the interstate. You’ll hurt for it later, and you’ll have brought the hurt on yourself.

9. You’ll find dishonor and disgrace

He will get wounds and dishonor,
and his disgrace will not be wiped away. (Prov 6:33)

You set yourself up for constant reproach and a bad name. You’ll always be that guy who ran off with the girl and ruined a good thing (family, ministry, career, etc.).

10. You’ll lose every time

For jealousy makes a man furious,
and he will not spare when he takes revenge. (Prov 6:34)

Sexual immorality rightly infuriates. Jealous husbands will not spare on the day of revenge.

But what if your immorality doesn’t involve seducing a married person? Then there’s no jealousy to fear, right? “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord” (Rom 12:19). Remember that God, the Great Husband, has a special place in his heart for those with no human protectors. Can you watch your back when it comes to him?

If, like me, you have already failed in the sexual realm, take heart and remember there’s always hope in Christ. He provides a way out. This list is not to consign you forever to guilt and punishment, but to warn you from future folly.

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Easy Sex Will Keep You from Being Wise

February 24, 2014 By Peter Krol

A student newspaper at my alma mater once published a set of ABC’s for first-year students as something of “a 26-step instructional guide on how to get the most out of higher education.”

Jirka Matousek (2011), Creative Commons

Along with A for Alcohol, E for Energy drinks, and Q for Questions, came the following:

H is for House Party Weekend. Three parts live music, four parts indiscriminate alcohol abuse, two parts non-prejudicial fornicating. Mix well; serve warm. That’s House Party Weekend.

S is for Sexually transmitted diseases. See letter H.

W is for Walk of shame. Alternatively known as the “stride of pride.” That long walk home wearing the same thing you went out in last night, which inevitably followed a very awkward introduction earlier that morning. When you see the steady stream at 10 a.m., just remember, “Let he who has not woken up spooning a stranger cast the first stone.”[1]

There’s a reason “higher education” and “wisdom” aren’t synonymous.

Lots of Sex

This week, I reinstate my long-running Bible study of Proverbs 1-9. As we hit Proverbs 6:20-35, we ought to notice that Solomon has said a lot about sex already, and he’s not yet done with the topic. Foolish and ungodly sexual activity was common long before universities developed such a strong reputation for it.

But what makes Proverbs 6:20-35 unique? What does Solomon say here that he hasn’t covered elsewhere? Though many ideas overlap, we can observe a primary focus for each of the “sex sections” of Proverbs 1-9:

Prov 2:16-19 explains how easy sex hinders wisdom.
Prov 5:1-23 unveils God’s surprisingly intoxicating alternative.
Prov 6:20-35 enumerates immorality’s terrible consequences.
Prov 7:1-27 unmasks immorality’s seductive tactics.

We must hear wisdom on these matters, so we can find life (Prov 6:23) and avoid death (Prov 5:23). In keeping you from being wise, easy sex holds nothing for you but pain and destruction. But there was one who endured pain and destruction to give us wisdom. So there’s always hope.

The Plan

Over the next few weeks, I’ll tackle this passage somewhat out of order. First, I’ll explain ten terrible consequences of easy sex (Prov 6:24-35). Then, I’ll go back to offer four steps for fighting it (Prov 6:20-23).

Question: How do you see easy sex hindering wisdom in our day?

——————————-

[1] Scott Gosnell, “The BU ABC’s,” The Counterweight, Volume 7, Issue 1, August 24, 2007, pp.8-9.

Connecting the 3 Fools

December 30, 2013 By Peter Krol

Simon Lutz (2013), Creative Commons

For a few weeks, I’ve been examining three kinds of fool from Prov 6:1-19: the Savior, the Sluggard, and the Sower of Discord. To help you avoid them in the new year, I’d like to consider how they’re all connected.

Most foreign aid has done great harm to the Third World. Rather than helping the poor to have a better life, it has created a culture of dependence where people realize they don’t actually have to work hard to improve their communities. They just have to find a Western official who will give them a handout. So we put Band-Aids on cancerous tumors and perpetuate the injustice, instead of supporting useful organizations that educate people and train them in beneficial skills. We rescue hurting people in the name of world peace.

Coincidentally, we can do the same thing at home. How many relationships consist of the “Savior” who shields the “Sluggard” from his choices? Parents allow their perfectly healthy sons to live with them into their late 20s or early 30s. Teachers adjust the curve so no student will be left behind. Managers perpetuate the status quo rather than dealing with problem people on the team; it might be too awkward to confront them, after all. Church leaders dedicate most of their time to procedural minutiae or unteachable committee members, while turning a blind eye to the rampant gossip and slander ripping apart the community of God’s children.

And if someone has the courage to deal with such problems biblically, “Sowers of Discord” come out of the woodwork with their “concerns” at such an “unloving” approach. So godly people run in fear and perpetuate the evil.

We get into tidy patterns of behavior that reinforce our folly, and then we mistake our comfort for success in serving Christ.

Every once in a while, however, a ray of light from God’s Word pierces the cycle and exposes the issues. It feels like things get worse, because all the patterns we were used to stop working. It’s easy to see such moments as disruptive or even harmful to our lives. But I challenge you to see those moments for what they are: the opportunity for new life. Before resurrection, there must be death. Put the fool in you to death, and live anew in Christ every day.

Sometimes we think we’re on the right path as long as we avoid the big areas of folly, like easy money and easy sex. But God cares about the details, and some of those details are more destructive than we realize. Pieces of the Savior, the Sluggard, and the Sower of Discord reside in every one of us. Part of wisdom is learning how to discern the folly so we can turn to Christ, set the folly aside, and avoid its consequences.

Question: How do you see the three fools in your own heart?

Don’t Mess with God’s Wife

December 23, 2013 By Peter Krol

The Sower of Discord is the third of Solomon’s three fools in Prov 6:1-19. The first poem (Prov 6:12-15) addressed this fool’s characteristics and fate. The second poem (Prov 6:16-19) focuses on God’s attitude toward this fool. This week I’ll tackle the second poem.

There are six things that the Lord hates,
Seven that are an abomination to him:
Haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
And hands that shed innocent blood,
A heart that devises wicked plans,
Feet that make haste to run to evil,
A false witness who breathes out lies,
And one who sows discord among brothers (Prov 6:16-19, ESV).

In this second poem, Solomon reinforces the characteristics of the Sower of Discord (Prov 6:17-19) so we’ll learn how to recognize them. But his chief concern is to reveal God’s opinion of such fools. God hates the person who sows discord among brothers. “Abomination” is the strongest possible word for God’s loathing; there is no possibility of softening this hatred.

Also, let’s not fall into the trap of thinking God hates the sin but loves the sinner. Not in this case. “There are six things that the Lord hates…[including] one who sows discord among brothers.”

Draco (2008), Creative Commons

The church is Christ’s body (Eph 5:23), his household (Eph 2:19, 1 Tim 3:14-15). That means that both those who sow discord and those who support the sowing of discord are murderers and home wreckers. We listen to sowers of discord because it feels like indulging in our favorite desserts (Prov 18:8), but really it’s like swallowing razor blades. It’s like wearing a “suck it up” t-shirt in a maternity ward. We might as well paint targets on our chests and think happy thoughts, because the Lord is a crack shot. He is a jealous, avenging husband, who will not stand idle while fools screw with his wife.

As you celebrate Jesus’ birth this week, remember that his body was broken once before to pay for the sin of the world (Luke 22:19). He won’t suffer it to be broken again. “Do you not know that you [plural in the Greek; referring to a community, not an individual] are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple” (1 Cor 3:16-17).

But for those who set aside the sowing of discord, hope flows from the body once broken.

Jesus died for sowers of discord so he could reunite them with his father. His disciples had their fair share of disputing and jockeying for position. But Jesus paid their debts, gripped their hearts, and gave them a vision for community based not on position or prestige but on mutual service. He gave them an effective method for resolving conflict and offense (Matt 18:15-20), but their motivation to follow through on it wouldn’t come from inside themselves. They had to remember how Jesus loved them and died for them so he could forgive them and heal them.

This is how we do it as well. We remember Jesus’ sacrificial love for us, and we can’t help but to forgive others and speak well of them:

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you (Eph 4:29-32).

Question: How have you seen Jesus heal his body from discord?

How to Recognize Sowers of Discord

December 16, 2013 By Peter Krol

There is no foolproof formula for recognizing sowers of discord, but Solomon wants to train us to be discerning.

A worthless person, a wicked man,
Goes about with crooked speech,
Winks with his eyes, signals with his feet,
Points with his finger,
With perverted heart devises evil,
Continually sowing discord;
Therefore calamity will come upon him suddenly;
In a moment he will be broken beyond healing (Prov 6:12-15, ESV).

1. Take note of crooked speech (Prov 6:12b)

Do they twist words to win sympathy? Do they label their complaints as “concerns,” their anger as “frustration,” or their bitterness as “misunderstanding”? Have they failed to forgive? Do they always have questions but never any answers?

2. Consider body language (Prov 6:13a)

When around people who offend them, do they roll their eyes, grimace, or shake their heads? Do they make eye contact with you when the other person turns away? Does their posture communicate disrespect or defensiveness?

3. Refuse to join the gang (Prov 6:13b).

a2gemma (2007), Creative Commons

The Sower of Discord “points with his finger” in an effort to persuade others to join his team. He’s a sneaky communicator, and his destructive power lies in his ability to recruit. Whenever someone has a complaint against another person, your best response is, “did you talk to that person about it?”

Sowing discord is one of the most prevalent and most disregarded sins in the church today. We think of gossip as something that happens on daytime talk shows, and we ignore it in the fellowship hall. We think slander deserves discipline only if it’s intentionally and overtly deceitful. Perhaps we’ll confront those who purposefully spread bad reports about others, but Proverbs is just as concerned to confront those who endorse those reports by giving them a hearing (Prov 26:20-28).

This passage convicts me thoroughly. I am as guilty as anyone of speaking ill, sowing discord, and fighting unity. I have shared details I didn’t need to share. I have discussed the failings of my supervisors with my subordinates. I have asked for the low down on specific people, and I have entertained conversations that went in the wrong direction. I have asked Jesus to change me, and I wrestle my self-importance daily.

If you are broken by this text, there is much hope for your repentance and healing. You can act as glue to reunite the shards of your once-vibrant community. You can unleash Christ’s redemptive glory in your church, and he can restore his body to full and proper functioning. Learn to recognize the characteristics of the Sower of Discord, and exterminate them from your heart and your church.

But if you find yourself still making excuses for sowing discord (or for aiding and abetting others to sow discord), you’ll be ruined before you know what hits you (Prov 6:15). God doesn’t like it when people mess with his wife.

Question: What else helps you to recognize sowers of discord?

Fool #3: The Sower of Discord

December 9, 2013 By Peter Krol

Richie Diesterheft (2007), Creative Commons

The Sower of Discord is the third of Solomon’s three fools in Prov 6:1-19. This person knows what’s good for God’s people better than God himself does. This person is a fighter, a crusader. This person suffers tremendous persecution at the hands of those who don’t understand (or won’t receive) the mission. This person believes every point of theology is worth dying for. This person is always right.

I am this fool. If you’re honest, you probably are, too.

But watch out. Solomon addressed the Savior as “my son” (Prov 6:1). He also addressed the Sluggard personally, although not as a “son” (Prov 6:6). The Sower of Discord, however, is almost beneath his dignity. He does not address this person directly; instead, he warns his readers against this person. He does not hold out much hope for this person. The Sower of Discord is an “abomination” (Prov 6:16), one hated by God with utmost hatred. We must not allow this fool to multiply in our churches. We must not allow this folly to multiply in our hearts.

Solomon divides this section into two poems. The first poem (Prov 6:12-15) addresses this fool’s characteristics and fate. The second poem (Prov 6:16-19) focuses on God’s attitude toward this fool. This week I’ll tackle the first one.

A worthless person, a wicked man,
Goes about with crooked speech,
Winks with his eyes, signals with his feet,
Points with his finger,
With perverted heart devises evil,
Continually sowing discord;
Therefore calamity will come upon him suddenly;
In a moment he will be broken beyond healing (Prov 6:12-15, ESV).

Let’s be honest. This person is a great friend to have because he always has inside information about people. He’s good at making you feel like you’re on the inside and others are on the outside. He’ll welcome you in and give you a prominent seat in the clubhouse. He’s not a gossip; he just really cares about what’s best. He wants truth, and not injustice, to reign.

But he is worthless. He is wicked (Prov 6:12a). Nothing good will come of your friendship with him. Perhaps that sounds harsh, but it’s what Proverbs teaches.

This person continually sows discord while devising evil with his perverted heart (Prov 6:14). Of course, he doesn’t think of what he does as “evil.” He just has “concerns.” He has a few questions about the leadership. He wants to understand the church’s direction, and he wants to know if you understand it any better than he does. By discussing his concerns with you, he can gain some valuable advice on how to address his concerns and offer help. He offers you “the real story” behind a certain event in the church’s history. He’s full of insight and compassion, and he’s like a magnet for those who really care about people.

Watch out.

Question: Why do you think Solomon is so hard on the Sower of Discord?

Are You the Sluggard? And What to Do About It

December 2, 2013 By Peter Krol

The Sluggard is the second of three fools in Prov 6:1-19.

Are you the Sluggard? Can the ant teach you how to be self-motivated and seasonally productive?

You might be the Sluggard if you:

Have 3 stars on every level of Angry Birds.
Miss things because of over-sleeping.
Are more caught up on your Instagram news feed than on your to-do list.
Have your mom do your laundry for you.
Regularly don’t do things you say you’ll do.
Need structure to work fruitfully, and you expect others to provide that structure.
You stay up all night to meet deadlines.
Regularly wonder how the day went by so fast.
Don’t know what you did for a block of time.
Feel like your parents, spouse, roommates, or boss nag you too much.

None of these things necessarily makes you the Sluggard. But if there’s a pattern, you may be in danger. Ask others if they think you work hard enough on the top priorities.

Are you ready to make the changes necessary to labor fruitfully for the Lord? Solomon tells you how.

How long will you lie there, O sluggard?
When will you arise from your sleep?
A little sleep, a little slumber,
A little folding of the hands to rest,
And poverty will come upon you like a robber,
And want like an armed man (Prov 6:9-11, ESV).

1. Ask yourself some hard questions (Prov 6:9).

John Morgan (2010), Creative Commons

“How long will you lie there?” “When will you arise from your sleep?” The answer Solomon seeks is not primarily a length of time, but a confession of motivation. If you are not motivated to work hard at what God has called you to, why not? What else motivates you to sit still and waste your time? Why do you love surfing the Internet for hours on end? Why do you watch so much TV? What do you get out of it, and is it working for you? Why do the weeks and months and years tick by, with not much to show for your life’s labor?

God sent Jesus to die so he wouldn’t have to go through the rest of eternity without you. Why are you more interested in yourself than in anything else?

2. Begin with minor choices (Prov 6:10).

No one decides to ruin his life all in one day. An investor doesn’t look for the worst possible stock to buy. A retailer doesn’t open a store in the belief that there’s no market for his goods. And a sluggard doesn’t decide up front to be lazy, unproductive, or ineffective. It’s the minute-to-minute choices that ruin him: “a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest.”

A few minutes surfing channels becomes a few hours. A quick break from something hard leads to complete procrastination. A short nap evolves into a lifestyle of irregular sleep habits.

The solution to a life of laziness is not to write out an all-encompassing life plan. The solution is to train yourself to make different choices. Small choices add up to weighty habits, for good or ill. Figure out one next step, and then take it. Then take the next. And the next. Before you know it, you’ll be walking the path of wisdom, on your way to life and hope and influence and satisfaction.

3. Remember the consequences (Prov 6:11).

If you trust in Jesus, not even your laziness can thwart his commitment to giving you eternal life. But it can make the journey there much more painful. “Poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man.”

Where do you rely on others to tell you what to do? They’ll stop trusting you, and you’ll never find the freedom you really want.

Where have you consistently had lack? Where do you keep relying on others to bail you out? Here’s a secret: It probably won’t change until you change. In fact, you might be surprised by how poverty, hunger, and lack of resources will ambush you and perpetually hold you captive.

Jesus came for the weak and lowly, not the influential. He worked hard so we could find our true rest. He is changing the world, and he includes us in the process. He won’t let us remain idle. He dumps his work in our laps until we understand that hard work is good for us.

And remember that Jesus died for sluggards. If you keep making little choices that render you unfruitful and ineffective, he’s not ready to give up on you. If you love him, he promises to conform you to his image, and he won’t ever let you succeed at avoiding the work of his Kingdom.

Question: Are you the sluggard? What will you do about it?

Fool #2: The Sluggard

November 25, 2013 By Peter Krol

The second of Solomon’s three fools is the Sluggard. “Sluggard” is an old-fashioned word for lazy-bones or couch potato, and such people existed long before video games or social media. This person loves to have fun. The Sluggard is usually behind on something, but he runs out of time before he can get to it. This person is often incredibly busy. This person is a great friend to have, but not the best teammate or project partner. The Sluggard doesn’t know how to produce stuff, but he knows how to get it from others who produce it for him (be it the Church, the welfare office, or his parents).

I am this fool. If you’re honest, you probably are, too.

Go to the ant, O sluggard;
Consider her ways, and be wise.
Without having any chief,
Officer, or ruler,
She prepares her bread in summer
And gathers her food in harvest (Prov 6:6-8, ESV).

Sancho McCann (2010), Creative Commons

Solomon commands the Sluggard to pay attention to the world. By noticing a few things about insignificant ants, he might, in fact, become wise.

First, consider how ants are self-motivated (Prov 6:7). They don’t need a supervisor cracking a whip over them. They don’t need their moms to remind them to take out the trash. They don’t need deadlines or micro-management to get the job done. They don’t have drill sergeants shouting in their faces. They move forward, doing what they ought to do. They out-perform the competition and can be relied upon to carry out top priorities. If they struggle to understand how they fit into the big picture, they don’t blame others for failing to give them enough purpose. They go after it for themselves.

Second, consider how ants are seasonally productive (Prov 6:8). They know when to work and when to play. They know what work should be done today, and what work can be put off until tomorrow. They don’t wait for winter to hit before they begin stocking the shelves. They don’t stay up late on April 14^th to finish filing their taxes. They’re aware of how much legwork goes into a task, and they plan far enough in advance to get it all done.

These two values—motivation and productivity—will convert any comatose dawdler into an influential laborer for God’s Kingdom.

In my college years, I ricocheted between laziness and workaholism until a mentor challenged me to view my schoolwork as a job. He encouraged me to set “business hours,” within which I would do all my classes and homework—and nothing else. When business hours ended, I could set the work aside and spend time investing in my relationships with God and other people. As I employed the counsel of this fatherly “ant,” I discovered that it was not only possible but also invigorating to live such a disciplined life. I had no guilt when 6:00pm arrived and I put my textbooks away to have dinner with a friend. I took an entire day each week to worship the Lord and rest in him, which freed me to become involved in my church. My stress level at exam time was much lower, and my investment in the Kingdom of God was much higher.

Question: How can you be more self-motivated or seasonally productive?

Take People to the True Savior

November 18, 2013 By Peter Krol

The first of three kinds of fool in Prov 6:1-19 is the Savior. Foolish saviors insert themselves between people’s choices and the consequences of those choices.

The wise know that the need for rescue is urgent, but there’s only one who can carry it out. There’s a savior, and I’m not he. Needy people most need to fear the Lord. They need to know Jesus and trust in the saving power of his death in their place and his resurrection to glory. If the Lord brings adverse consequences to draw people closer to him (Prov 3:11-12), then I’m keeping them away from God when I buffer them from those consequences.

Proverbs 6:1-5 isn’t for only those who cosign loans.

You might be the “savior” if you:

Let other students copy your homework.
Love when people talk about how much you’ve helped them.
Believe answering a phone call or text message is more important than anything, because this person needs you right now!
Have friends who keep coming to you for accountability, but nothing ever changes.
Are bitter because you’re always helping others but they’re never helping you.
Are proud because you’re the first one people turn to when they need help.
Are overwhelmed by how many people need your help.
Participate in service projects to feel better about yourself.
Claim to be a Christian, but you’re dating a non-Christian, and you think your partner might not go to church if not for your relationship.

None of these things necessarily makes you the foolish “savior.” But if there’s a pattern, you may be in danger. Ask others if they think you rescue people too much.

Hamed Saber (2006), Creative Commons

Jesus came for the sick, not for the healthy. If we take Jesus’ place as savior, we merely prolong the illness. People will never see their need and turn to him. But if we speak as Jesus’ ambassadors, letting him do his work in people’s lives, we get a front-row seat to his display of mercy. In helping to meet any need, our goal should always be to point people to Jesus and not to ourselves. Sometimes imaging Jesus means rescuing a child from a burning building. Other times it means allowing the child to touch the hot stove. In either case, we must take the burned one to Jesus, the only true savior.

The main problem is that people often don’t want grace; they want a bailout. They don’t want their feet held to the fire; they want their hands held. They want safety, not responsibility. They want an easy life, not a free gift. They want stability, not sacrifice. They want to subsidize their lifestyle, not change it. They want a nanny, not a neurosurgeon. So they ask for our help, while rejecting what would actually help.

So, in Jesus’ name, you can:

Lavish mercy without dulling the pain of their choices.
Participate in service projects to help others and not to assuage your own nagging guilt.
Meet financial needs by donating instead of co-signing.
Introduce your non-Christian partner to others who will speak of Jesus; then get yourself out of the way.
Offer tutoring instead of sharing your homework.
Let the call go to voicemail and return it at another time.

And remember that Jesus died for “saviors.” If you keep getting in the way of his saving work in others’ lives, he’s not ready to give up on you. If you love him, he promises to conform you to his image, and he won’t ever let you succeed at replacing him.

Question: Where do you see the “Savior” in your heart, and what would it look like to represent the true Savior instead?

The Savior Saves Because He Wants to Help

November 11, 2013 By Peter Krol

Last week I examined the Savior, the first of three kinds of fool in Proverbs 6:1-19.

At first glance there appears to be little connection between our world and this ancient practice of co-signing someone’s debt. At least that’s what I thought, until the day I led a Bible study on this passage and a girl broke down in tears because her parents had charged thousands of dollars to credit cards in her name. She had always thought it was good for her to rescue her parents by using her own unsullied credit to give them more margin. If she hadn’t, they might not have been able to make a mortgage payment. They might lose a car or their furniture. They might not be able to afford college tuition for her siblings.

Becoming surety, or co-signing loans, is actually so common today that we struggle to believe it’s problematic. Parents co-sign education loans for their children. Young adults share credit cards with their parents. Credit card companies (or other financial service providers) require entrepreneurs to sign a “personal guarantee” on a corporate line of credit. In the event that the business should go bankrupt, the credit card company can require the executive to repay the company’s debt from his personal assets.

Now one could make a case that Solomon never states explicitly that it’s wrong to co-sign a loan. He says only that you should deny yourself sleep until you can get out of the deal. One could also propose that it’s okay to co-sign for a family member since the borrower Solomon has in mind is a “stranger” (Prov 6:1). But I don’t suggest banking your opinion on that single word. It’s parallel to “neighbor,” which has quite a broad range of meaning. (See Prov 3:28.)

However, instead of debating the wisdom or folly of co-signing loans in certain situations, I would prefer to ask a more foundational question. Why does Solomon make this into such a big issue? Out of all the possible money-issues he could focus on, why warn against co-signing loans? Why not prohibit false weights and measures in the marketplace? Why not expose the evil of materialism? Why not denounce theft, bribery, extortion, larceny, or tax evasion?

The answer to these questions lies in yet another question: Why would a person even consider co-signing a loan? Why do people do it, when they know the risk is so great? Those who co-sign loans lack sense (Prov 17:18) and will surely suffer the loss of their own property (Prov 11:15, 22:26-27), so what could motivate someone to do it?

It’s simple: If a person I care about has a need, then I want to help.

Marc Falardeau (2011), Creative Commons

Perhaps the person in need has no one else to turn to. Maybe this person has exhausted every option. Perhaps bad luck and bad timing have collided in this person’s life, and I’m in a position to make it better. If I can help my loved one regain equilibrium, then I’ll have done my part. I can make the world a better place, and at least one person will thank me for it.

Note Solomon’s assumptions. Of course it’s important that we love others more than ourselves (Prov 3:27-35). Yes, we must image the Lord by helping those in need. But there are times when the best help we can offer is not to help. In other words, sometimes it’s unloving to rescue people from the consequences of their choices. And co-signing a loan is one of those times.

Wise people know that the need for rescue is urgent, but there’s only one who can accomplish it. There’s a savior, and I’m not he.

Question: How do you struggle with the temptation to rescue needy people?