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You are here: Home / Archives for Immorality

Jesus the Offender’s Hope

March 24, 2014 By Peter Krol

For a few weeks, we’ve examined the serious consequences of sexual immorality in Proverbs 6:20-35. Before moving on to Proverbs 7, we should take one last look at immorality’s consequences and remember how they fell upon our Savior Jesus. We, who fall for immorality’s promises and deserve to die, find life through the purity of the one who died for us. Our hope must not be in our ability to resist, but in his innocent, unresisting sacrifice on our behalf.

Jesus kept every one of his Father’s words (Prov 6:20, John 14:31), yet he was numbered among transgressors (Prov 6:24, Luke 22:37), and the master became a servant (Prov 6:25, Phil 2:6-7).

Jeroen Mul (2010), Creative Commons

Jeroen Mul (2010), Creative Commons

Jesus wrote the words of God on his heart (Prov 6:21, John 12:49-50), yet he still lost everything (Prov 6:26, John 10:17-18), and did not go unpunished (Prov 6:27-29, 1 Peter 2:24).

Jesus served the Father every moment in his walking, lying down, and waking (Prov 6:22, Mark 7:37). But he still suffered as a cunning robber (Prov 6:30-31, 35, Mark 15:27) and couldn’t have looked any more foolish (Prov 6:32a, 1 Cor 1:18).

Jesus was never tainted by the least sin (Prov 6:23, 1 Pet 1:18-19), yet God was pleased to crush him (Prov 6:32b, Isaiah 53:10) and wound him for our transgressions (Prov 6:33, Isaiah 53:5).

Despite his immaculate purity, Jesus found rampant dishonor and disgrace (Prov 6:33, John 19:15, Mark 10:33-34).

Though faithful to the end, Jesus experienced the furious, jealous revenge of the Divine Husband (Prov 6:34, Matt 27:46).

Friends, look upon this one who was pierced for your unfaithfulness. Don’t let him out of your sights. Don’t turn from his unbreakable love. Don’t settle for anything less.

“For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Cor 5:21).

When you gaze on Christ, the counterfeits lose their appeal. And—as we’ll see next in Proverbs 7—you’ll gain the discernment to unmask immorality’s silly seductive tactics.

Filed Under: Proverbs Tagged With: Consequences, Easy Sex, Immorality, Jesus Focus, Proverbs

How to Resist Sexual Immorality

March 17, 2014 By Peter Krol

Christian Mayrhofer (2009), Creative Commons

Christian Mayrhofer (2009), Creative Commons

We know easy sex will keep us from being wise. We know it will beat us down and knock us out. We know it can’t deliver what it promises.

But we still struggle with it because we’re prone to get the order of things all wrong. In the moment of temptation, we set aside the true God and bow to the god of self. We live for our comfort, our pleasure, our escape, our desire.

In those moments, we think truth becomes relative. Righteousness becomes undesirable. God appears absent. Self-actualization is everything.

Thus, Solomon’s counsel for resisting immorality doesn’t land where we usually land. We want to know what is the best internet filtering software. We want to find others who will hold us accountable.

But Solomon gets radical. He shows us how to restore things to their proper order, so we might bow to none but him who is all in all. What would it look like for you to live for such a gracious Master?

1. Guard the Commands

My son, keep your father’s commandment,
and forsake not your mother’s teaching. (Prov 6:20)

The word “keep” involves not only obeying but also guarding. Keep room in your life for time with Christ in his word. Participate actively in opportunities to hear the word and be known by others who will speak the word to you.

You will protect and defend what is most important to you. If your pleasure is most important, you’ll always find a way to gratify it. But if the Lord’s pleasure is most important, you’ll find ways to bask in it.

And when you’re alone at night, after a stressful day, you’ll face that tantalizing choice—the choice that is always a choice, because you’re not an innocent victim. You don’t have to be a slave to what will kill you.

By the power of God’s Holy Spirit, you can choose one thing and not another. You can guard the commands, dive into the Scripture, and drown yourself in its glory. You can set aside your self-love.

2. Memorize the Word

Bind them on your heart always;
tie them around your neck. (Prov 6:21)

In the heat of temptation, God’s grace may lead you to remember that “He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself. He will get wounds and dishonor, and his disgrace will not be wiped away” (Prov 6:32-33). With the truth readily available to you, would it be easier to fight the lies?

And at just the right moments, the Lord might remind you to “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth” (Prov 5:18).

3. Serve the Lord

When you walk, they will lead you;
when you lie down, they will watch over you;
and when you awake, they will talk with you. (Prov 6:22)

We all serve something. We walk, lie down, and awake with our master’s will on our minds. As much as we like to think of ourselves as masters, we’re created to be servants.

Why not serve the best, most gracious Master? God promises you life, and he’s the only God who can actually give it. Idols can never give us what they promise.

You don’t need sex to make you happy. Whether you’re single, widowed, married to someone disobedient to the word, or married to a mature believer, you can bow to the lover of your soul and lay down your life for others as he did for you.

4. Annihilate the Folly

For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light,
and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life. (Prov 6:23)

Wisdom reproves you. Hear the rebuke and stop doing what you’re doing. You always have a choice.

Stop (Prov 1:22)! Turn (Prov 1:23)! I’ll give you my spirit (Prov 1:23)! Listen (Prov 2:1-2)! Call out (Prov 2:3-4)! Don’t forget (Prov 3:1)! Receive life (Prov 6:23)!

I have not lived as purely as I ought. Time and again, I fail to do what is right. What hope is there for struggling sinners like me?

“The reproofs of discipline are the way of life.” Do you want life? God delights to give it, so come to him and get your fill.

Filed Under: Proverbs Tagged With: Easy Sex, Immorality, Proverbs, Repentance, Sanctification

10 Reasons to Choose Sexual Immorality

March 10, 2014 By Peter Krol

Though Solomon gives 10 solid reasons to avoid sexual immorality in Prov 6:24-35, we still do it. Why would we do such a dumb thing?

Because in our folly, we believe what is not true. We lose sight of what really matters. We turn inward to focus on ourselves, and we set aside the fear of the Lord. We allow immorality’s smooth promises to woo us.

Perhaps you’ve capitulated to some of the following lies, in direct opposition to the corresponding truth from Proverbs.

1. It’s not that bad

To preserve you from the evil woman,
from the smooth tongue of the adulteress. (Prov 6:24, ESV)

Perhaps sexual immorality  a mistake—even one that will leave me feeling guilty for days. But “evil”? Let’s try not to use such inflammatory language.

2. I’m free in Christ

Do not desire her beauty in your heart,
and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes. (Prov 6:25)

Jesus Solana (2012), Creative Commons

Jesus Solana (2012), Creative Commons

I’m saved by grace, so I’m free in Christ (to sin, that is). Of course, I don’t want to commit immorality; it’s just a besetting sin. I’m not truly captive to it; I’ll just have to struggle with it for the rest of my life.

3. It won’t cost much

For the price of a prostitute is only a loaf of bread,
but a married woman hunts down a precious life. (Prov 6:26)

I can afford a loaf of bread. A second look never hurt anybody. Anyway, Jesus already paid my debts.

4. I can handle it

Can a man carry fire next to his chest
and his clothes not be burned?
Or can one walk on hot coals
and his feet not be scorched?
So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife;
none who touches her will go unpunished. (Prov 6:27-29)

Christians need to play with fire; it’s how they learn discernment. Plus, these pictures and sex scenes don’t tempt me as much as they used to.

5. It won’t hurt anybody

People do not despise a thief if he steals
to satisfy his appetite when he is hungry,
but if he is caught, he will pay sevenfold;
he will give all the goods of his house…
[A jealous husband] will accept no compensation;
he will refuse though you multiply gifts. (Prov 6:30-31, 35)

God gave me this hunger, so what else was I supposed to do with it? At least I’m not hurting anybody. This is just between me and God.

6. I can relate with people who struggle with this issue

He who commits adultery lacks sense. (Prov 6:32a)

Pornography and masturbation are so common today. I’m happy to be a wise counselor for others who struggle with it the way I do.

7. I can’t live without it

He who does it destroys himself. (Prov 6:32b)

Jesus, please don’t come back too quickly. At least not until I get to experience great sex. My singleness is such a burden. Or my marriage isn’t fulfilling me as I had hoped. I won’t be happy unless I get to look and touch again tonight. And tomorrow night. And the next.

8. It will make the pain go away

He will get wounds… (Prov 6:33)

Life is so hard. I’ve got deadlines I don’t think I can meet. There’s unresolved conflict so intense it makes me feel sick. My parents (or children, spouse, roommate) won’t stop nagging me. I failed my exam. My life is spinning out of control. I just need to get away from it all.

9. I’ll confess it to my accountability group

He will get wounds and dishonor,
and his disgrace will not be wiped away. (Prov 6:33)

It’s a normal part of life. Everyone struggles with sexual sin. I’ll never be able to change it, but at least I keep it in the light by confessing it to others who will respect me for my openness. And I don’t judge them, either. There’s nothing to be ashamed of here.

10. It will be worth it

For jealousy makes a man furious,
and he will not spare when he takes revenge. (Prov 6:34)

What I am feeling at this moment is more important than anything else. Feel, look, touch; don’t think. My assistant or supervisor makes me feel so much more loved than my spouse does. My fantasies should override my misgivings. Nobody will know about it.

—–

Of course, these lies are foolish, but that doesn’t stop us from believing them in the midst of temptation. The one who fears the Lord will identify the lies, replace them with the truth, and act accordingly. As we heed the reproofs of discipline, we find the way of life (Prov 6:23) in the one who died to give us life (John 15:12-14).

Which lies are you most likely to believe? Are there others you would add to the list?

Filed Under: Proverbs Tagged With: Consequences, Easy Sex, Immorality, Proverbs

10 Reasons to Avoid Sexual Immorality

March 3, 2014 By Peter Krol

Easy sex will keep you from being wise.

To make this point, Solomon lists ten consequences of sexual immorality in Proverbs 6:24-35. Before reading my list, I urge you to read the passage yourself and see how many consequences you can observe. Perhaps making your own list will help you to remember these things when you face temptation.

1. You’ll participate in evil

To preserve you from the evil woman,
from the smooth tongue of the adulteress. (Prov 6:24, ESV)

Immorality is evil, and temptation is an invitation to do evil. But wisdom preserves the wise from evil. When you believe the smooth and deceitful promises of immorality, you choose guilt by association: You are now evil as well.

2. Your desire will take you captive

Do not desire her beauty in your heart,
and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes. (Prov 6:25)

Victor Casale (2012), Creative Commons

Victor Casale (2012), Creative Commons

It was for freedom that Christ has set you free, but immorality seeks to enslave you. Capitulation will become easier and easier. Resistance will become more and more difficult. Far better for you to rid your heart of these fantasies while you can.

3. You’ll lose everything

For the price of a prostitute is only a loaf of bread,
but a married woman hunts down a precious life. (Prov 6:26)

The cost begins low: only a loaf of bread. But with diminishing returns, you’ll need to give more and more until your very life is forfeit. Immorality hooks you while it’s cheap. A glance here, a touch there. But before you know it, you can’t sleep without sexual release. You simply can’t keep your hands off, and you’ll lose everything in the process.

4. Your punishment is inevitable

Can a man carry fire next to his chest
and his clothes not be burned?
Or can one walk on hot coals
and his feet not be scorched?
So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife;
none who touches her will go unpunished. (Prov 6:27-29)

You can’t tinker with immorality and hope to escape. You may be able to cover it up for a time, but you will eventually be found out. God sees everything, and he is a consuming fire.

5. You can’t repay what you’ve stolen

People do not despise a thief if he steals
to satisfy his appetite when he is hungry,
but if he is caught, he will pay sevenfold;
he will give all the goods of his house…
[A jealous husband] will accept no compensation;
he will refuse though you multiply gifts. (Prov 6:30-31, 35)

The point is not to justify theft, but to condemn sexual immorality. People can understand a thief’s motives, though they still make him repay what he stole. How much less will they understand you when they find you out?

Perhaps you rob your present or future spouse of your best love and attention. Maybe you steal someone’s innocence. Or perhaps you continue supporting the horrific porn industry, which destroys young women and holds them captive. Pictures are never harmless; we must not lie to ourselves.

6. You’ll lack sense

He who commits adultery lacks sense. (Prov 6:32a)

There goes wisdom and, along with it, life and peace and satisfaction and joy.

7. You’ll destroy yourself

He who does it destroys himself. (Prov 6:32b)

We do it because it feels good. But, like an alcoholic who destroys his liver, or a smoker who disregards his lungs, we kill ourselves with good feelings. Easy sex is all about self-gratification, but Jesus said that he who loves himself loses himself. Wisdom pierces these feelings to find the truth.

8. You’ll create your own wounds

He will get wounds… (Prov 6:33)

It’s like touching a hot stove. Or using credit cards to spend money you don’t have. Or picking a scab. Or playing hopscotch on the interstate. You’ll hurt for it later, and you’ll have brought the hurt on yourself.

9. You’ll find dishonor and disgrace

He will get wounds and dishonor,
and his disgrace will not be wiped away. (Prov 6:33)

You set yourself up for constant reproach and a bad name. You’ll always be that guy who ran off with the girl and ruined a good thing (family, ministry, career, etc.).

10. You’ll lose every time

For jealousy makes a man furious,
and he will not spare when he takes revenge. (Prov 6:34)

Sexual immorality rightly infuriates. Jealous husbands will not spare on the day of revenge.

But what if your immorality doesn’t involve seducing a married person? Then there’s no jealousy to fear, right? “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord” (Rom 12:19). Remember that God, the Great Husband, has a special place in his heart for those with no human protectors. Can you watch your back when it comes to him?

If, like me, you have already failed in the sexual realm, take heart and remember there’s always hope in Christ. He provides a way out. This list is not to consign you forever to guilt and punishment, but to warn you from future folly.

Thanks for visiting Knowable Word! If you like this article, you might be interested in receiving regular updates from us. You can sign up for our email list (enter your address in the box on the upper right of this page), follow us on Facebook or Twitter, or subscribe to our RSS feed. 

Filed Under: Proverbs Tagged With: Consequences, Easy Sex, Immorality, Proverbs

3 Skills to Help You Find the Main Point

October 25, 2013 By Peter Krol

You’re swirling in details. You tried the OIA method of Bible study, and it yielded more observations and more questions than you could handle. You thought you’d dabble in the magic of Bible study, but the spell has taken over, and the water line has exceeded flood stage. You’re tempted to cue “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice” and drown your exhaustion in a bucket of popcorn.

Don’t lose hope. You’re almost there; you just need to pull it all together and integrate the details into a coherent main point.

Such integration matters because ancient authors didn’t waste space with meaningless details. Every word had a purpose. Every sentence captured an idea. Every paragraph advanced the agenda. And every section had a main point. The accumulation of these points promoted the goal of bringing the audience closer to the Lord. These main points are the ones worth fighting for.

So how do we figure out the main point? I’ll give 3 tips and illustrate them from my recent posts on Proverbs 5.

1. Always ask “why?”

The challenge of interpretation is to move past the “what” to discover the “why” of the passage. Why is this text here? What was the author’s agenda?

Though most Bibles have headings at the beginning of each section (Proverbs 5 in ESV: “Warning Against Adultery”), these headings are usually observation summaries and not interpretive main points. These summaries help when you’re flipping through and trying to find a specific verse, but they don’t always comprise the passage’s meaning. To convert these summary headings to main points, sometimes you only have to ask “why.” For example, “Why does this passage warn us against adultery?”

Similarly, you can take any or all of your observations, ask “why,” and move closer to the main point.

2. Account for the context.

We’ve seen how the book overview places the work in history. This historical context influences our reading of the text and helps us to see the main point. In the case of Proverbs 5, we see Solomon training a new generation of nobility to lead Israel with purity and integrity.

In addition to the historical, two further types of context should guide us.

First, examine the literary context. What was the main point of the previous section of text? How does the author move from that section into this section? What issues lingered at the end of that section, and how does this section address those issues? Because Genesis 1 is the beginning, we have no prior literary context. Instead, this chapter will establish the context for everything that follows. Thus, we should read Genesis 2:4-25 (and following passages) in light of Genesis 1:1-2:3.

Second, examine any intertextual context. That is, use a search engine, cross-references, or list of Old Testament quotations to find other parts of the Bible that quote this section (or are quoted by it), and figure out the connection between them. When God inspired authors to quote other passages, he was showing us how to interpret those passages.

3. Track the author’s flow of thought.

putting_it_all_togetherAsk: How did the author get from the first verse to the last verse? Break the chapter into paragraphs or stanzas, and figure out each paragraph’s/stanza’s main point, which is a sub-point on the author’s agenda. String those points together to see how one paragraph/stanza moves to the next. If you’re still stumped, you can break each paragraph/stanza down into sentences and track the flow from sentence to sentence. Don’t give up; this challenging skill gets easier with practice.

For Proverbs 5, I outlined the flow of thought in my first post:

  • verses 1-6: not all sexual temptation is as good as it seems
  • verses 7-14: the wrong choices have dire consequences
  • verses 15-20: utter unselfishness in the context of marital love is surprisingly intoxicating
  • verses 21-23: those who think they know satisfaction better than God does have sprung their own trap

So, compiling all my observation and interpretation, my final post on Proverbs 5 reached this main point: The wise can see through the culture’s illusion of sexual “freedom.” This main point took me right to Jesus and on to application.

Sexual freedom is truly an illusion. Jesus submitted to the cross and the grave so we could be free of both forever; he proved it by his glorious resurrection. Now we get to image him to the world. Find your freedom in self-denial. Obtain life through your death. Secure satisfaction by serving and satisfying others, especially your spouse.

The wise person sees the culture’s illusions, blasts them with Bible dynamite, and wins others to radically selfless, Christ-like joy, far more exciting than either religious prudishness or enslaving immorality.

Each text has a point. These three skills will help you get there so you can see Jesus and find eternal life in him.

Filed Under: Method Tagged With: Bible Study, Immorality, Main Point, Proverbs

Detailing the Consequences of Immorality

September 23, 2013 By Peter Krol

This week we continue our study of the illusion of sexual freedom.

And now, O sons, listen to me,
And do not depart from the words of my mouth.
Keep your way far from her,
And do not go near the door of her house,
Lest you give your honor to others
And your years to the merciless,
Lest strangers take their fill of your strength,
And your labors go to the house of a foreigner,
And at the end of your life you groan,
When your flesh and body are consumed,
And you say, “How I hated discipline,
And my heart despised reproof!
I did not listen to the voice of my teachers
Or incline my ear to my instructors.
I am at the brink of utter ruin
In the assembled congregation” (Prov 5:7-14, ESV).

Notice that the command to listen is repeated once again (Prov 5:7). Don’t let its familiarity cause you to hurry past it. Let it remind you of your need for help from outside yourself. Ask any recovering addict: You will not win this battle on your own.

Rochelle Hartman (2011), Creative Commons

Rochelle Hartman (2011), Creative Commons

Avoid immorality at all costs (Prov 5:8). Otherwise it will cause you to:

  1. Lose your best years (Prov 5:9). The springtime of life could be spent on serving the Lord and growing his kingdom. Don’t give that up.
  2. Squander your strength and the fruit of your labor (Prov 5:10). You’ll spend all your energy coping with your sin. Wouldn’t you rather have something else to look back on as your life’s work?
  3. Regret all the waste and its wreckage (Prov 5:11). The night before I graduated from college, a hall mate asked if I had any regrets. I looked back over those four years, and with full honesty said, “No.” I hadn’t done everything perfectly, but the Lord had given me rest in him and in his work in my life. That night, I committed to living the rest of my life with the end in mind. I don’t regret that choice one bit.
  4. Stagger from all of the guilt (Prov 5:12). You’ll finally identify the foolishness in your heart and the damaging behavior it led to. The weight of it will sink in.
  5. Cower beneath all the shame (Prov 5:13). You’ll realize the problem wasn’t that you didn’t have enough information, but that you didn’t have enough conviction.
  6. Despair at the public disgrace (Prov 5:14). You could be “that guy who ran off with the girl” back at your home church. I regret many indiscretions of my teen years. One particular incident came to light just before my high school graduation and crushed the respect a younger sister in Christ had for me. Her parting words – “How could you?” – remain etched in my memory.

I want to make two things very clear. First, we must not minimize the consequences of our sin. Consider: Is it worth it? Decide now, not when temptation happens. We also must not buffer others from the consequences of their sin. God saves sinners – I am foremost! – by breaking all their hope to pieces, leaving none but Jesus (Mat 21:42-44, Rom 7:7-12). Don’t hinder any work of God by boxing out the truth.

Second, if this passage has discouraged you, please remember Proverbs 4: There is always hope that we can grow. Solomon depicts the end of immorality on purpose. He does it so we might change course before the end arrives. If you’re reading Solomon, it’s not too late for you. Just do nothing, and you’ll ruin all. Fear the Lord, and anything can change.

Share your struggles with pastors or wise leaders. Ask them to help you figure out what you desire (since what we do is always a result of what we desire). Many people turn to sexual immorality out of a desire for control (when life feels out of control), escape (when things are difficult), or acceptance (when they feel rejected by those they care about most). Identify what God desires for you instead (that you know him and find long life, peace, pleasantness, etc.), and ask him to help you change. Then turn from your sinful desires and grasp new, godly desires. Once wisdom changes who you are, it will flow into everything you do.

Filed Under: Proverbs Tagged With: Consequences, Easy Sex, Immorality, Proverbs

Appearances are Deceiving, Especially When Hormones are Involved

September 9, 2013 By Peter Krol

The cultural ideal of “sexual freedom” is an illusion. Don’t be fooled.

My son, be attentive to my wisdom;
Incline your ear to my understanding,
That you may keep discretion,
And your lips may guard knowledge.
For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey,
And her speech is smoother than oil (Prov 5:1-3)

Solomon begins Proverbs 5 with another reminder to listen to his wisdom (Prov 5:1). If we don’t passively receive and actively seek instruction in the sexual realm, we endanger our lives. Once we receive it through our ears, we ought to “keep discretion” (presumably in our hearts, as Prov 4:21 advises). Then it changes who we are, affecting what we do, especially with our “lips” (Prov 5:2). Our lips must guard knowledge because honey drips from the forbidden woman’s lips. Her speech is so smooth, it makes oil seem irritating, so we ought to be ready (Prov 5:3).

Daniel Lobo (2006), Creative Commons

Daniel Lobo (2006), Creative Commons

Before continuing, let’s clarify who the “forbidden woman” is. Remember that Proverbs is a work of poetic wisdom literature. As poetry, it makes liberal use of imagery to evoke an emotional reaction, but, as wisdom literature, it assumes we’ll think hard about what we’re reading. Earlier in Proverbs, Solomon exaggerated the portraits of his characters: the bumbling gang of thieves (Prov 1:10-19), Lady Wisdom the mocking street preacher (Prov 1:20-33), the adulteress whose house sinks through the ground into the grave (Prov 2:16-19), and the sleep-deprived, ferocious evildoers (Prov 4:14-17).

Solomon paints such an exaggerated picture of his subject to strengthen his point. He takes a character type and vividly describes the worst-case scenario for that type, thus including all variations of explicitness and severity. For example, in describing the violent gang, Solomon critiques all who want to get more stuff at the expense of others (Prov 1:19). Through Wisdom’s speech, Solomon warns not only those who have already harmed themselves but also everyone who loves being simple (Prov 1:22). When he warns against joining ravenous evildoers, he warns us to avoid their highway, not just their particular rest stop. We shouldn’t risk even entering it (Prov 4:14).

Who then is the “forbidden woman” in Proverbs 5? She includes loose women who tire of their husbands, but she ultimately represents every enticement to sexual immorality that you and I, whether male or female, experience. Solomon is clear about this fact when he broadens his final applications to include not just adulterers, and not just sexually immoral people, but all “the wicked” who show “great folly” (Prov 5:22-23). Whatever your gender, age, or marital status, this chapter of Proverbs applies to you. In fact, this chapter can help if your temptation involves the opposite sex, the same sex, solo sex, or images on a computer monitor. The “forbidden woman” still drips her honey at you, and you had better watch out. Therefore, for the sake of clarity, I’ll use the word “immorality” in future posts to refer to the opponent Solomon has in mind.

Filed Under: Proverbs Tagged With: Easy Sex, God's Wisdom, Immorality, Proverbs, Worldly Wisdom

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