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You are here: Home / Archives for Proverbs

Do Whatever it Takes to Get Wisdom

January 9, 2026 By Peter Krol

David was Solomon’s chief role model, and here’s what he taught his son.

“Get wisdom; get insight;
Do not forget, and do not turn away from the words of my mouth.
Do not forsake her, and she will keep you;
Love her, and she will guard you.
The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom,
And whatever you get, get insight.
Prize her highly, and she will exalt you;
She will honor you if you embrace her.
She will place on your head a graceful garland;
She will bestow on you a beautiful crown” (Prov 4:5-9).

David’s instruction is not all that complicated. I would paraphrase it like this:

Prov 4:5: Get wisdom!
Prov 4:6: It will guard you from trouble.
Prov 4:7: I mean it; get wisdom! Do whatever it takes!
Prov 4:8-9: You’ll be respected and honored by everyone who knows you.

Malcolm X

It sounds like great advice for children like little Solomon who don’t carry much life baggage yet, but how can it help those who feel stuck? What would it look like to get wisdom at any cost? Jesus compares the Kingdom of Heaven to a treasure hidden in a field. A man who finds it “goes and sells all that he has and buys that field” (Matt 13:44). Malcolm X believed human rights to be worth acquiring “by any means necessary.” Solomon’s approach to wisdom is similar (without implying any violence, of course). What resources are available to you? Proverbs 4:5-9 doesn’t give many specifics, but here are some ideas from elsewhere in the Bible:

  1. Fear the Lord (Prov 1:7). Take your need to him. Wisdom (and change) always begins here.
  2. Hope it can change (1 Peter 1:3). Such hope is always a choice. You’re not a victim to your despair.
  3. Resolve to pay any cost (Prov 23:23). Do you want it to change? Are you willing to risk anything? Will you give all you have to find wisdom, seek help, and make the necessary changes?
  4. Immerse yourself in Scripture (Ps 1:1-3). What matters most is what God has to say to you. Search the Bible for answers to your questions. Learn how to study it. What time of day are you at your best? Give the Lord that time, and develop the habit of reading and studying his Word.
  5. Engage in a community of wisdom (Heb 10:24-25). Find a good church where the Bible is taught and Jesus’ life, death, resurrection, and rescue for sinners are central. Find a mature mentor who can help you to connect the Word of God to your life.
  6. Practice wisdom (Phil 4:9). Remember that wisdom is not just about thinking godly thoughts. It’s about living godly lives. Talk to people about what you’re learning. Ask others what they’re learning. Spend time with non-Christians and look for ways to share about Christ. As you practice these things, write down any lessons or questions that arise, and discuss them with your church or your mentor.
  7. Do whatever it takes (2 Cor 6:1-2). What other ideas do you have? As Derek Kidner writes, “What it takes is not brains or opportunity, but decision. Do you want it? Come and get it.”[1]

[1] Kidner, Proverbs, p.67. (Disclosure: This is an affiliate link, so if you click it and buy stuff from Amazon, your purchase will help support our site without any added cost for you.)

Filed Under: Proverbs Tagged With: Change, Hope, Malcolm X, Proverbs

Stop Turning “Proverbs Aren’t Promises” Into a Proverb That Makes a Promise

December 31, 2025 By Peter Krol

It’s crazy how widespread is the counsel that “proverbs aren’t promises.” It’s ridiculously common for folks to treat it as a truism that requires no defense, only an assertion or brief explanation. And that explanation seems to require Prov 26:4-5 (or Prov 22:6) as a launching point, as though invoking “answer a fool … answer not a fool” makes the truism self-evident.

close up of a couple holding hands
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com

Consider an Example

Case in point. Here is a nursing professor doing a wonderful thing for his church, seeking to encourage them to read the Scripture and dig more deeply into God’s glorious word. I trust that he serves faithfully in his role as a church elder and music coordinator. He wants to read God’s word well and help others read God’s word well. However, he falls prey to the unexamined truism that unintentionally undermines an entire book of the Bible desperately needed in our generation.

And notice that, in the process, he turns “proverbs aren’t promises” into a homemade proverb that makes a promise. This brilliant biblical poetry is now reduced to “principles” but not “promises,” whatever that actually means. But if these “principles” cannot be relied on to promise the truth to us, then, as Bruce Waltke put it, how could a psychologically well person ever trust what God says in this book?

And as a result, the truism’s effect is the opposite to its intended effect: It only motivates people not to read and study the Proverbs. Why spend my time here, when I can spend my time in a different book of the Bible that does promise something? A book that provides fully reliable truth I can bank on, and not just “principles” that are merely possible or likely but you can never be sure?

I can’t really blame this blogger, though, as he’s merely quoting a commentator. The problem is not that a few people think this way. The problem is that everybody holds to this tradition as handed down from the elders without really considering its consequences.

Notice how, right in his opening paragraph, the writer linked above contrasts proverbs with the “promise” of John 3:16. “Are these promises in the same way the John 3:16 is a promise?” He clarifies by quoting an unnamed commentator: “Proverbs are not magical words that if memorized and applied in a mechanical way automatically lead to success and happiness.” But are we to presume that John 3:16 is?

You might say, “of course not.” But please follow the logic as presented. If:

  1. Proverbs are not promises, and
  2. A “promise” means something is “a magical word…applied in a mechanical way” that “automatically leads to success and happiness,” and
  3. John 3:16 contains a promise,

then John 3:16 is a magical, mechanical, and automatic word.

In other words, a person can apply John 3:16 like this: “What a great deal! God loved me (and the whole world) so much that he gave his Son! That means that if I just believe, I will never perish! I will have eternal life! I can therefore jump off a skyscraper without a parachute, or walk in front of a dump truck, and nothing bad will happen to me! I won’t perish! No believers in Christ will ever die young. Or die at all.”

Not What Promises Are

Of course that’s not how this blogger or anybody else believes John 3:16 ought to be applied. That would be a magical, mechanical, and automatic use of that promise, doing violence to what it really means and to how promises actually work in the Bible.

But nobody in their right mind treats any promise of the Bible that way. Not the promise of John 3:16. Not the promises of the Prophets. Not the promises of covenant blessings and curses in Leviticus 26 and Deuteronomy 28. Every one of those promises requires qualifications and a covenantal or cultural context to be properly understood. Just like…the sayings of Proverbs.

Therefore, when a proverb makes a promise, we should not treat that promise mechanically, either. So I agree fully with the intent of the statement that “Proverbs aren’t promises.”

But the solution to that tragically mistaken use of the Bible’s promises (magical, mechanical, automatic) is not to maintain the oft-repeated yet self-defeating claim that “proverbs aren’t promises.” If proverbs really are not promises, then that conventional proverbial saying must not be a promise, either. And if proverbs aren’t promises, there is little reason to dive deeply into the book of Proverbs to mature as a person or society. And so we continue suffering our cultural and generational folly, experiencing the covenantal consequences of what God promised in the book of Proverbs. “When the righteous triumph, there is great glory, but when the wicked rise, people hide themselves” (Prov 28:12).

Can we please instead find the courage to acknowledge that some proverbs are, in fact, promises? Let’s instruct people that the Bible’s promises are not magical, mechanical, or automatic. But let’s also euthanize the false and confusing reflex that communicates that, because proverbs are not mechanical, they are not “promises.” Stating the matter that way has only misled people and created worse problems than those we attempted to solve.

For further defense of this thesis, please check out “Why ‘Proverbs Aren’t Promises’ is Still Misleading.”

Filed Under: Method Tagged With: Interpretation, Misinterpretation, Promises, Proverbs

Identifying Longer Poems in the Body of Proverbs

December 17, 2025 By Peter Krol

Paul Overland has a fascinating piece on how to detect the poetic structure of Proverbs. I’ve written a full study of Proverbs 1-9, but Overland draws lessons from the structural markers in 1-9 and applies them to discern longer poems in chapters 10-29 as well.

For example, the sage uses an inclusio (repeated bookends) to mark the beginning and end of a poem in Proverbs 4:20-27. The NIV captures the repetition of “turn your ear” (Prov 4:20) and “do not turn” (Prov 4:27). In a similar way, the inclusio of “comes only to poverty” may mark the beginning and end of a larger unit in Prov 21:5-22:16.

Overland provides many specific tools to help you recognize boundary markers of poetic units within the book. And he offers the following benefits to engaging in this work:

  1. Poems reveal richer meaning to their single sayings
  2. We discover messages emerging from entire poems or lectures
  3. Adjacent poems cluster together to deliver a cumulative lesson
  4. A book-wide curriculum of wisdom training comes into view

The book of Proverbs is a tremendous gift from God to help us know him and grow up into maturity in our thinking, our piety, and our social progress. In today’s societies, we can easily witness the fruit of neglecting such wisdom from God. And Overland’s article will provide much stimulating help with considering just how this book can train us further in God’s wisdom.

Check it out!

Filed Under: Check it Out Tagged With: Inclusio, Paul Overland, Poetry, Proverbs, Structure, Unit of Thought

Wisdom is Infectious, Not Contagious

December 12, 2025 By Peter Krol

There’s hope that anything can change. But first you must get wisdom.

Hear, O sons, a father’s instruction,
And be attentive, that you may gain insight,
For I give you good precepts;
Do not forsake my teaching.
When I was a son with my father,
Tender, the only one in the sight of my mother,
He taught me
And said to me,
“Let your heart hold fast my words;
Keep my commandments, and live” (Prov 4:1-4).

We can tell Solomon wants to get our attention because the first verse says, “be attentive,” and because it begins with “Hear, O sons,” rather than the usual “Hear, my son” (Prov 1:8). Would you like to get unstuck? Pay attention to what comes next.

After Solomon exhorts the reader to hear his instruction, he backs up the exhortation with a bit of autobiography. We’re transported back to the days when little Shlomo sat by the hearth and heard his father David talk about life. The most memorable advice was this: Hold on to my words (Prov 4:4) and get wisdom (Prov 4:5). This little story is noteworthy for at least two reasons.

1. It shows that the reason Solomon asked God for wisdom (1 Kings 3:5-9) was because Papa David told him to.

It’s easy to think Solomon’s request came out of nowhere, as though he had a flash of genius that just happened to coincide with the night when God made him the offer of a lifetime. No, instead, as we learn here, David had trained Solomon to do whatever it might take to get wisdom. Solomon was ready to ask God for it. Like Solomon, we must be taught to love and seek wisdom; it doesn’t happen naturally. Wisdom is an acquired taste, cultivated by people who have good examples to follow.

2. It implies that, if we want to inspire others to love wisdom, we must live it out and pass it on, just as David did for Solomon.

I’m not saying that David was perfect. He influenced his son both for good (loving wisdom) and ill (loving too many women). Solomon’s chief memory, however, was of his father’s quest for wisdom. It inspired him deeply.

NIAID (2011), Creative Commons
NIAID (2011), Creative Commons

To influence others, we, too, must quest for wisdom. Love for wisdom is infectious, not contagious. In other words, it doesn’t catch very easily; it requires close personal contact to be transmitted. For instance, parents ought to practice what they preach; they should be both open to learning and quick to ask forgiveness when they sin against their children. Leaders ought to tell tasteful stories about themselves to illustrate key ideas; people generally won’t get the point until they can see how it has personally affected the teacher. To save us, God didn’t hand over a philosophy or rulebook. He became a man and stood in our place, showing us in the process how to live wisely.

The first step to getting unstuck is to find good models who inspire you with hope and point you to Jesus as your wisdom. If you are a leader of any sort, your words will never be enough; you must visibly demonstrate the wisdom you seek to impart.

This post was first published in 2013 and is part of a series walking through Proverbs 1-9.

Filed Under: Proverbs Tagged With: Change, Hope, Leadership, Proverbs

Wisdom and Hope

December 5, 2025 By Peter Krol

I’m Stuck

I’ve been stuck for some time. There’s a certain person I’ve known most of my life who is very difficult to get along with. Our personalities clash, and our tastes diverge on just about everything. He doesn’t know Christ yet; thus, he doesn’t understand most of the life choices I’ve made. I’ve often felt personally attacked by his comments and attitudes.

I want this person to meet Christ and find life, but when we converse I end up feeling like I’m about 8 years old again and helpless to change things. After I got married, my wife helped me to see that all hope was not lost; God had provided many opportunities to build a healthier relationship. My self-protective fear had prevented me from seeing these opportunities, and the fear of the Lord would give me the wisdom to make changes. Only after I stopped worrying about protecting myself and started seeking to represent Christ, did I have hope that the relationship could get better. I have a long way to go, but I want to do whatever it takes to travel this path one step at a time.

Proverbs 4 explains the vital connection between wisdom and hope. If we don’t fear the Lord, we won’t be open to change. If we’re not open to change, we won’t change. If we don’t change, we’ll fail as agents of redemption to those around us. We won’t inspire them with hope that they can change. Then—guess what?—nothing ever changes.

Deana Archer (2006), Creative Commons
Deana Archer (2006), Creative Commons

Are You Stuck?

Are you stuck? Stuck in a bad habit, a bad relationship, or a bad situation? Has your life failed to meet your expectations? Are you always too busy? Do the years keep flying by, yet without moving beyond the “same old, same old”?

For example, have you committed sexual immorality in the past? Will you ever be able to forget the memories or mental images? Can the damage done to yourself and others ever be undone? The fear of the Lord can give hope.

Are you married to an angry, hurtful person? Is your relationship caught in the endless cycle of attack-remorse-apology without any lasting change? How could you ever forgive? Can you get more help? The fear of the Lord can give hope.

Were your parents critical of your every move? Did they care at all? As you grew up, did they miss all your major milestones? Did they abuse you verbally, physically, emotionally, or sexually? How could you possibly trust another person again? The fear of the Lord can give hope.

Have your grown children rejected the Lord? Have you tried to win them back by every available means? Might you have been part of the problem, pushing them away with ungracious legalism, unrealistic expectations, harsh judgments, or emotional neediness? Can they ever return to the Lord or to a healthy relationship with you? The fear of the Lord can give hope.

There’s Hope

I’m not saying that the answers to these questions are easy. I’m not saying that wisdom will eliminate your pain and disappointment. But what I am saying is that there’s hope. One of our own poets, speaking of that hope which rises from fearing the Lord, said:

Hope springs eternal in the human breast:
Man never Is but always To be blest.[1]

There’s always hope. Real hope that it can change. Do nothing, and it will certainly get worse. But fear the Lord, and it just might get better.

Proverbs 4:1-27 has three distinct units, each beginning with an address to one or more “sons.” The theme of “life” links the sections together. Solomon’s advice goes like this: First, do whatever it takes to get wisdom, and you’ll find life (Prov 4:1-9). Second, contrast the two roads before you to see which one leads to the life (Prov 4:10-19). Third, let the life become a part of who you are, and it will change everything you do (Prov 4:20-27). In other words, because God makes his life available in Jesus Christ, those who turn to him have hope that anything can change.[2]

This post was first published in 2013 and is part of a series walking through Proverbs 1-9.


[1] Alexander Pope, Essay on Man

[2] I’m indebted to Waltke, Proverbs 1-15, pp.274-301 for the structure and main points of Proverbs 4. (Disclosure: This is an affiliate link, so if you click it and buy stuff from Amazon, your purchase will help to support our site at no extra cost to yourself.)

Filed Under: Proverbs Tagged With: Change, God's Wisdom, Hope, Proverbs

When Humility is not Easy

November 28, 2025 By Peter Krol

It’s easy to forget humility and act like violent men when facing certain types of people. We’ll find help with three groups of people by considering the three places where New Testament authors quote Proverbs 3:34.

1. Those who have hurt me deeply

Charlie Barker (2011), Creative Commons
Charlie Barker (2011), Creative Commons

James has this first group in mind when he quotes Proverbs 3:34 to instruct the community to stop quarreling (Jas. 4:1-12). James argues that we each tend to love ourselves more than anyone else, so we fight for our rights. In the course of such conflict, we get hurt and want to retaliate. Instead, we must remember that our desires cannot give us what they promise. So we must turn to the Lord, because he always gives more grace than the world does. As we fear the Lord instead of focusing on ourselves, we become more humble people. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble” (Jas. 4:6).

2. Those who don’t deserve my trust

Peter has this second group in mind when he quotes Proverbs 3:34 to instruct the church to submit to the elders (1 Pet. 5:1-11). Elders are shepherds of the flock of God, but they must never be mistaken for the Chief Shepherd. When we put our leaders in the place of Jesus, they fail to deliver because they are neither divine nor sinless. When they fail, we tend to become disillusioned, anxious for the future of the church, and proud in our own opinions. Instead, we ought to fear the Lord more than we fear failure. This makes us both humble and effective, for “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble” (1 Pet. 5:5).

3. All the rest

Paul has all of us in mind when he draws us back to Christ’s humility to empower our own (Phil. 2:1-18). Does Christ encourage you? Does his love comfort you? Do you participate in his Spirit? Has God shown any affection or sympathy toward you? Jesus gave up what he deserved (his rights as God) and took on what he did not deserve (the role of a servant, the limitations of a human body, and the utter disgrace of death by crucifixion). He did it to rescue you from what you deserve (God’s judgment) and to give you what you do not deserve (God’s pleasure). Paul was so affected by Jesus’ humility that he was prepared to die himself if it meant his people would hold these truths more dearly.

Loving others wisely and humbly is not optional for followers of Christ. It’s the meat and potatoes of living by faith in community with other sinners. Wisdom must penetrate this crucial area of our lives. The fear of the Lord is the beginning, and when you fear the Lord you can’t help but become like him. That means dying for others, even if they’ve hurt you or if they don’t deserve it. When Jesus’ humility grips you, it changes everything about you. Don’t turn inward and deny yourself the opportunity to fear the Lord and know Jesus in his humility. As Raymond Ortlund writes:

If you would like to experience God with that humility, here is how you can. You look at the cross. You see a wise man hanging there, dying in the place of fools like you, because he loves you. You may despise him, but he does not despise you. You may be above him, but he humbled himself for you. Look there at him. Look away from yourself. Look at him, and keep looking until your pride melts. You will not only worship, you will begin to grow wise.[1]

This post was first published in 2013 and is part of a series walking through Proverbs 1-9.


[1] Proverbs: Wisdom that Works, Kindle location 537-540.

Disclosure: This link is an Amazon affiliate link. If you click it and buy stuff from Amazon, your purchase will help support our site.

Filed Under: Proverbs Tagged With: 1 Peter, Humility, James, Pain, Philippians, Proverbs

Why We Harm Others

October 31, 2025 By Peter Krol

In seeking wise humility, we must not pridefully withhold good or plan evil against others.  To help us, the center of Proverbs 3:27-35 illuminates our motivations.

Do not envy a man of violence
And do not choose any of his ways (Prov. 3:31, ESV)

If God opposes the proud so severely, why would anyone ever choose such a path?  Because, Solomon reasons, we are tempted to envy violent people.

Derrick Davis (2008), Creative Commons
Derrick Davis (2008), Creative Commons

Remember our discussion about violent people from Proverbs 1:10-19?  The attraction to violence is that it will gain us more stuff.  And more stuff means improved security and increased community, or so we think.

We love ourselves enough to believe anything just to get a little satisfaction.  We’ll even believe that “love your neighbor as yourself” means that we first have to love ourselves.  Nowhere, however, does the Bible command us to love ourselves; it assumes that we already do.  Whenever we put ourselves at the center of the universe, we are choosing to act like violent men.  The antidote to such a poisonous choice is to fear the Lord, who really is at the center of the universe.  “Let not your heart envy sinners, but continue in the fear of the Lord all the day” (Prov. 23:17).

If you’re anything like me, you may have a hard time with this teaching.  I want to love people; I really do.  I’ll do whatever God wants me to do for most of the people in the world.  There are just a select few whom I can’t love.  In particular, there are those who have hurt me deeply, and those who don’t deserve my trust because of some failure on their part.

Next week, we’ll see how the New Testament applies Proverbs 3 to these situations.

This post was first published in 2013 and is part of a series walking through Proverbs 1-9.

Filed Under: Proverbs Tagged With: Humility, Proverbs, Satisfaction, Violence

God Opposes the Proud

October 24, 2025 By Peter Krol

Wisdom is humble. Humility means putting others first. But why does it matter?

For the devious person is an abomination to the Lord,
But the upright are in his confidence.
The Lord’s curse is on the house of the wicked,
But he blesses the dwelling of the righteous.
Toward the scorners he is scornful,
But to the humble he gives favor.
The wise will inherit honor,
But fools get disgrace. (Prov. 3:32-35)

R. Nial Bradshaw (2013), Creative Commons
R. Nial Bradshaw (2013), Creative Commons

This section has four statements about God’s perspective on those who obey or disobey the commands of Prov. 3:27-30. The first three show first God’s displeasure toward the disobedient, followed by his favor toward the obedient. The fourth statement reverses the order, signaling the end of the section.

The language here is not moderate. “Abomination” (Prov. 3:32) may be the strongest possible term to express hatred. The devious person, who builds himself up by tearing others down, is an object of God’s extreme hatred (Prov. 3:32). The wicked, who ignores God’s instruction and goes his own way, is thwarted by God at every turn (Prov. 3:33). Scorners, who always believe they know better than everyone else, receive the Lord’s scorn (Prov. 3:34). Fools, who love simplicity and refuse to learn wisdom, become disgraceful examples of what not to do (Prov. 3:35).

What’s abominable to God is often distasteful to others as well. I’m sure you’ve seen (or been) the person who’s so focused on himself that he brings his own disgrace. Comedian Brian Regan, with surprising insight, cautions us to “Beware the Me Monster.”

I made the mistake of trying to tell a story about having only two wisdom teeth pulled, and I learned a lesson: Don’t ever try to tell a two-wisdom-teeth story because you ain’t goin’ nowhere. The four-wisdom-teeth people are going to parachute in and cut you off at the pass. ‘Halt!  Halt with your two-wisdom-tooth tale!’ You will never complete one; trust me.[1]

The “Me Monster” is the person who always focuses on himself. Even the world recognizes how ugly this behavior is.

In contrast, the upright person, who imitates God’s pattern of selfless love, is brought into God’s intimate circle (Prov. 3:32). The righteous one, who trusts in God’s provision and not his own performance, receives God’s backing for every endeavor (Prov. 3:33). The humble person, who considers others more important than himself, is given favor from the Lord (Prov. 3:34). The wise person, who never stops learning and loving, gets praise from the King of Heaven (Prov. 3:35).

God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. These two roads lead in opposite directions, and there’s not much room between them. Where do you fall?

This post was first published in 2013 and is part of a series walking through Proverbs 1-9.


[1] From Regan’s video I Walked On the Moon.

Filed Under: Proverbs Tagged With: Brian Regan, Consequences, Humility, Proverbs

Do Not Plan Evil

October 17, 2025 By Peter Krol

In teaching about wisdom and humility, Solomon’s first warning was against keeping what we have; this second warning is against taking what we want.

Do not plan evil against your neighbor,
Who dwells trustingly beside you.
Do not contend with a man for no reason,
When he has done you no harm. (Prov 3:29-30)

Wise people put others first, protecting their well-being. They don’t steal possessions by borrowing and not returning. They don’t steal time by not listening well. They don’t pick fights. They don’t argue about meaningless things. When a disagreement is significant, they work to persuade and woo, rather than coerce or manipulate.

Jozef N (2009), Creative Commons
Jozef N (2009), Creative Commons

“Do not contend” (Prov. 3:30) has a legal ring to it, referring to foolish lawsuits, but it implies much more than court proceedings. We ought to avoid damaging someone’s reputation needlessly. We ought to be as concerned for others’ reputations as we are for our own. Wise people don’t spread the dirt on others (Prov. 20:19); they refuse even to listen to it (Prov. 26:20-22). Whenever they hear someone’s “concerns” about another person or group, they make sure to get the whole story before coming to any conclusions (Prov. 18:13, 17).

I must confess that I am guilty. I have jumped to conclusions about others. I have listened to bad reports, and I’ve spread them foolishly. I haven’t always done my research, making sure to hear all sides of a matter. I can think of times when my information was true, but still should not have been passed on (Prov. 25:7b-10). I once prided myself on my ability to discern what needed to change for any person in any situation, and all along I was the one who most needed to change.

When we put ourselves at the center, we commit all kinds of evil against others, and we train ourselves to make it look good and religious. We stop listening to the Word of Wisdom, and we listen instead to the world around us. For example, I once sat innocently in a fast food restaurant, and my cup started preaching at me. No joke. It said:

This cup makes a statement about you. It says, ‘Hey, look at me. I’m an ambitious yet responsible person.’ You could have gone larger, but you didn’t. You could have gone smaller, but again, you deferred. No, you know exactly what you want in life, nothing more, nothing less. It’s good when you have things your way.[1]

We fall for garbage like this all the time, but the Lord calls us out of a pat-yourself-on-the-back, you-know-what’s-best-for-you mindset. When we fear him, being open to change, our focus steadily moves off ourselves and onto others. Our pride melts, and loving others becomes our delight. Before we know it, our relationship with the Lord hits fifth gear.

This post was first published in 2013 and is part of a series walking through Proverbs 1-9.


[1] Printed on the cup of a Burger King® medium-sized soft drink.

Filed Under: Proverbs Tagged With: Burger King, Contention, Gossip, Humility, Proverbs

Do Not Withhold Good

October 10, 2025 By Peter Krol

Humility means putting other people first. This discipline excludes a number of proud and self-protective behaviors.

Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due,
When it is in your power to do it.
Do not say to your neighbor, “Go, and come again,
Tomorrow I will give it”—when you have it with you. (Prov 3:27-28)

The Principle

Adam Fagen (2010), Creative Commons
Adam Fagen (2010), Creative Commons

“Do not withhold good.” Easy, right?  t means you get out of the way when other drivers want to merge into your lane. At least if they’re not too aggressive about it. But who are those “to whom it is due”? Believe it or not, this question requires wisdom, as we can easily fall into several self-justifying errors.

The first error is to define “those to whom it is due” so broadly that you invest all your time and resources in the wrong people. There will always be poor and needy among us who require assistance. Christ’s followers should be known as those who give and serve as generously as their Lord did. But there are certain kinds of people who won’t be helped by our charity. We ought to exercise discernment in such cases.

To give a few examples: Proverbs warns against angry people whom we ought not rescue (Prov. 19:19), gossiping people whom we ought not associate with (Prov. 20:19), and foolish people whom we ought not even try to convince (Prov. 23:9). Don’t err by expending the Lord’s resources on the wrong people in the hope of being the kind of savior that only Jesus can be for them. Solomon will return to this point in Proverbs 6:1-5, so I’ll expand on it there.

The second error, however, is to define “those to whom it is due” so narrowly that no mortal person could ever qualify. In this case, we’re willing to help those who have real need; we just haven’t ever met any of them. We’ll give money, as long as the person has a job, a history of successful financial management, and a foolproof system of accountability in place. We act as though there is no room for mistakes with God’s resources.

Take note, however, that Solomon uses the word “neighbor” in Prov. 3:28, and the Bible suggests that “neighbor” is a pretty broad category. (See Luke 10:25-37.) We can’t justify our failure by obscuring what God has made clear.

Both errors result directly from pride. The first one says “I can be Jesus for this person.” The second one says, “Not even Jesus could help that person.” In both, I put myself at the center, and I have not cultivated the fear of the Lord.

Application

There are many ways we can apply this aspect of humility, but two especially come to mind for our generation. We must not withhold truth in confrontation, and we must not withhold life in evangelism.

Confrontation

Sean Gannan (2008), Creative Commons
Sean Gannan (2008), Creative Commons

Let’s admit it: we simply don’t know how to do it well. The Bible says, “You shall reason frankly with your neighbor” (Lev. 19:17), and I say, “but I don’t want to hurt his feelings.” The Bible says, “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt” (Col. 4:6), and I say, “but I’d better let him have it.” In other words, we usually make the Sucker’s Choice[1] between being truthful or being respectful, but the Bible commands us always to do both. If we disagreed with each other more honestly and more respectfully, we’d make better decisions, resolve more conflicts, and build deeper relationships. As William Blake wrote in “A Poison Tree,”

I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.

Evangelism

I’ll admit it: I generally don’t want to do it well. It would mean I’d have less time for what I want to do. I couldn’t hide behind my fears, nurturing them and helping them to flourish in my heart. People might not like me. It would be awkward and uncomfortable, and 5 minutes of comfort matter more to me than someone’s possible eternity in hell. Can you relate?

Now I’m not trying to make you feel guilty. No, my point is that you and I are guilty. Jesus knew it, and he died for us anyway. So we’re free to confess frankly, repent, and keep moving forward. Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it.

This post was first published in 2013 and is part of a series walking through Proverbs 1-9.


[1] Phrase borrowed from Patterson, et al, Crucial Conversations (New York: McGraw Hill, 2002). (Affiliate link)

Filed Under: Proverbs Tagged With: Fear of the Lord, Humility, Proverbs

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