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Creating an Atmosphere for Discussion in Your Small Group

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Luca Baggio (2016), public domain

Most Bible studies are marked by periods of silence that last just a little too long.

These silences usually happen when the group leader asks a bad question. I’ve recently written about the characteristics of a good question, and I’ve provided some examples.

Now we turn to another reason for unanswered questions: a group atmosphere that discourages interaction.

A Bad Atmosphere

The culture of any group takes a lot of time and effort to create, but after the culture is established a lot of decisions and behaviors become automatic. When everyone is expected to share prayer requests or stay afterward to play Backgammon, those activities develop into part of the routine.

A small group leader should aim to create a group atmosphere in which deep, vibrant conversation is expected. When this is the air we breathe, few good questions will go unanswered.

Creating a Good Atmosphere

A small group leader has an enormous influence on the group’s culture. There are at least four ways a leader can work to create a climate that encourages good discussion.

A Leader Must Value Discussion

Perhaps this is obvious, but a small group leader needs to value discussion in order for it to happen. They need to be convinced it is actually good—both for the group and for the leader—to have conversation in the group.

Many leaders know that the question-and-answer model is expected, but deep down they resent it. They think the group would be better off if they could share their knowledge without interruption—and a brain-to-brain download would be even more efficient!

Having attended classes and small groups for twenty-some years, I can tell when a leader values discussion and when they are just playing a part. And, if you’re a leader, trust me—your friends can tell whether or not you want to hear from them.

Hear this, leaders: Conversation is the best way for your group members to learn and grow. And discussion is also better than lecturing for you, as a leader. Your friends are not the only ones who need to listen, engage, and learn!

A Leader Must Invite Discussion

Inviting discussion is different than tolerating or even welcoming it. Leaders who value discussion will invite it from their group members—regularly and emphatically.

How does a leader invite discussion? They ask for it. They work hard to write good questions. And they thank their group members (both during and after the meeting) for their participation.

A small group leader should also look forward to conversation with their group, and they should say so. They should note the ways they learn and benefit from their friends’ insights, comments, and questions.

A Leader Must Engage in Discussion With Love

A great indicator of how much a leader values discussion is the way they listen and react when discussion actually happens. If conversation serves only as filler in the leader’s mind, they will be impatient or inattentive when others are talking. If this sort of leader is listening at all, it’s only to spot another opportunity to speak.

Our posture, our eye contact, our expressions, and our engagement with answers from our friends all communicate our desire (or lack of desire) for discussion.

Now, leaders need to be prepared to field some off-the-wall comments. We should be gracious in response, praising what is praiseworthy without affirming every point. This takes care, because a leader’s bad reaction to an answer will squash any further discussion during that meeting (and possibly for meetings to come).

When a small group member hijacks the conversation or shuts it down, the leader may need to speak with that person privately to explain how their behavior is affecting the group. And if this persists, that leader may need to ask questions targeted at (or away from) specific members of the group.

A Leader Must Pray

Though this item is last in my list, it is first in importance. A good small group leader should pray about all aspects of their group, and this includes the in-meeting discussion.

If we believe that the Holy Spirit is needed to understand and benefit from the Bible, and if we believe that the interaction offered in a small group study is vital for gaining this benefit, then we should regularly bring this request before the Lord.

Clearer Skies

The atmosphere in a small group Bible study can be like smog in a big city, choking out all possibility of vibrant conversation. But with some adjustments, a leader can aim for the blue skies and fresh air of wide, open spaces, where discussion will flourish and Christians can grow mightily in the Lord.

Asking Good Small Group Questions: An Example

By

Sincerely Media (2018), public domain

You can tell me what qualities you like in a dessert all you want, but eventually I’m going to ask you to get specific.

Similarly, laying out principles for good questions to ask in a small group Bible study is all well and good. But leaders need examples for clarity and motivation.

1 Thessalonians 1

Today I’m sharing a Bible study I led on 1 Thessalonians 1 for my church small group. I am far from a perfect example, so please take this simply as one man’s effort to point in a helpful direction.

As evidence of how much I have to learn, I made several improvements to the study in the process of writing this article! Thinking carefully about good questions has been stimulating.

After the study, I’ll explain how these questions illustrate the six characteristics I described in my last post. I’m numbering my questions here in order to make later referencing easier.

Bible Study Plan

Here’s the outline of the study.

  1. Launching question: Can anyone tell us about an experience you’ve had sharing your testimony of coming to faith in Christ?
  2. Give background on the Thessalonian church. It was a young church!
  3. What do you observe about Paul’s thanksgiving in verses 2–3?
    • Follow-up: What is significant about the items Paul mentions?
  4. What evidence does Paul give that God has chosen the Thessalonians?
    • Follow-up: Does the power and conviction in verse 5 refer to Paul or the Thessalonians? How do you know?
  5. Why does Paul mention God’s choice?
  6. Note that Paul is speaking of the Thessalonians’ experience chronologically.
  7. What happened to the Thessalonians after the gospel came to them? (See verses 6–7.)
    • Follow-up: What is the difference between the way Paul uses “imitator” and “example”?
  8. What is significant about the locations Paul mentions? (See verses 7–8.)
  9. What were people saying about the Thessalonians? Why does Paul highlight these things?
  10. The main verbs in verse 9–10 are “turn,” “serve,” and “wait.” How are these actions important for young Christians?
    • Follow-up: How are these actions important for more mature Christians?
  11. Does Paul intend verses 9–10 to be a summary of the Christian life? How do you know?
  12. How does the gospel relate to verses 9–10?
    • Follow-up: How do verses 2–8 relate to verses 9–10?
  13. What is Paul’s main point in writing chapter 1? How do you know?
  14. What implications does this have for us? What implications does this have for our work making disciples?

Reviewing These Questions

I have tried to write these questions with my list of six characteristics in mind. Let’s see how those qualities affected my questions.

A good question is asked in a natural order.

While my launching question is personal, none of my other questions get personal until the end. I’ve also tried to ask easier, observational questions (like questions 3 and 4) before harder, interpretive questions (like questions 5, 8, or 11).

A good question is honest.

While I have studied this passage quite a bit, I know that others in my group have much to teach me. So I want my questions to be open and inviting (like the follow-up to question 3 and questions 8 and 10). I also avoid fill-in-the-blank questions–it’s actually for this reason that I state some observations (see #6 above) instead of asking about them. I don’t want my group to feel they must read my mind.

A good question is tethered to the text.

In many of my questions, I use specific language from the passage or verse numbers. In other places, when I ask, How do you know?, that is my effort to direct my friends back to the Bible for their reasoning.

I have made room for people to speak from their different perspectives and experiences (see questions 10, 12, and 14). But ideally all such discussion will spring from the words of God.

A good question is understandable.

I’ve tried to avoid long or complicated questions. My longest question above is question 10, and I would ask this twice before inviting responses.

A good question is purposeful.

When putting this study plan together, I wrote down the main point of the passage and then wrote the questions to lead my group toward that conclusion. My hope was that when I asked question 13, my group would have a solid answer.

A good question is prayerfully considered.

In my planning I tried to imagine the responses that each question could provoke. If the question was ambiguous or unclear, I tried to write with more focus. This lead to several inquiries with immediate follow-ups prepared.

I’ve written this before, but it’s worth repeating. Preparing good questions is time-consuming, demanding work.

Encouraging Conversation

This two-post series on good questions is part of a larger effort to help Bible study leaders encourage conversation in their meetings. In my next article, I’ll write about creating an atmosphere within a Bible study that invites interaction.

6 Characteristics of a Good Small Group Question

By

Emily Morter (2017), public domain

A bad question is one reason for lingering silence in a small group Bible study. So, for small group leaders, it is worth our time to think about what makes a good question.

Learning how to ask good questions is a lifelong pursuit. It pays dividends in almost every setting and every relationship in life. But there are few gatherings in which this skill makes a greater difference than in teaching or leading a small group.

What Makes a Good Question?

I have taught and led small group Bible studies for many years, so I’ve had plenty of occasions to ponder the quality of my questions. The observations below are the fruit of my experience, though I know I have much more to learn. I welcome additional contributions in the comments.

In my experience, good questions in small groups share these six qualities.

A good question is asked in a natural order.

What is true in one-on-one conversations is also true in small groups: Accelerating too quickly makes things awkward. Learning and respecting the natural progression of questions is a concrete way for leaders to love their group members.

Questions should generally move from easy to difficult and from objective to personal. It is also usually advisable to ask questions in the observe-interpret-apply progression that we suggest as a Bible study framework.

A good question is honest.

I’ve written an entire post about honest questions, so I will offer only a quick summary here.

Having studied the Bible passage in depth before the meeting, a leader should have a point of view and a direction in which they want to lead the conversation. However, the best questions are asked in humility, understanding that even the most studied Christians have much to learn from others.

Asking simplistic fill-in-the-blank or guess-what-I’m-thinking questions is often more an activity than an invitation to interaction. These questions rarely supply enough oxygen to sustain a conversation.

A good question is tethered to the text.

There are certainly times to probe our friends’ thoughts, experiences, and feelings. After all, our group members’ backgrounds and perspectives are part of what makes small groups so valuable. But within a small group Bible study, discussion should flow from the Scriptures.

If the purpose of our small group is to study the Bible, we should ask questions about the Bible. Our human tendency is to look away from Scripture, so many of our questions must gently remind our friends to look back at the text.

Application questions are the most personal and individual questions we can ask, but even these should originate in the text. Having talked through observations and interpreted the passage as a group, the author’s main point should drive all application questions.

A good question is understandable.

When we are excited about a Bible passage, it is easy to get carried away when writing questions. We must break our questions down into small, manageable steps.

Good questions should not be too long. They should not introduce fancy concepts or big words. Usually, they should not consist of multiple parts.

A good question is concise and clear. It asks people to consider something specific. If our friends can’t understand what we’re asking, we’ve no chance of a good discussion.

A good question is purposeful.

When putting notes together for a meeting, a leader should have a defined plan. They should have a considered idea about the main point for the passage, and they should put a question plan together to help their group gather the information to arrive at that destination.

This means that some interesting features of the passage may not make it into the discussion. With a limited amount of time, a leader needs to choose their questions carefully.

A good question is prayerfully considered.

As leaders, we should pray about all aspects of our Bible study meetings. This includes our questions and the conversations they spark.

A key ingredient of planning our questions is considering possible responses. If we envision the answers, we can evaluate the quality of our inquiries and anticipate the need to rephrase or follow up in a particular way. And the better we know our small group members, the better we’ll be able to predict how our questions will land on them.

Worth the Effort

A low-quality question is just one of the explanations for silence in a small group. But it may be the most common. (I will write about bad group atmospheres and reluctant group members—the other reasons I gave for unanswered questions—in the coming weeks.) Next week I’ll provide an example of small group questions that have the qualities I’ve listed above.

Planning helpful questions is slow, difficult work and it takes time to get better. But it’s worth it—for the good of our meetings and the growth of our friends.

Why a Small Group Question Doesn’t Get an Answer

By

Amy Tran (2018), public domain

Let’s start with an enormous understatement: This school year has been difficult. Both teachers and students have had to deal with incredible challenges.

Since August I have been teaching my classes in a hybrid style—some students are in the classroom and some are joining the class remotely. My main struggle has been participation. Especially for remote students, it is much easier to stay quiet and let others do most of the interacting. Consequently, I’ve been thinking a lot about silence.

Silence in the classroom and silence in Bible studies are not that different. They can both be deflating for the teacher/leader, and they usually come from one of three sources.

Why to Minimize Silence

The main strength of a small group Bible study is the interaction that takes place. But if there’s no dialogue, the meeting falls short of its potential.

Small group silence usually happens when the leader asks a question that gets no response. After a second or two, the leader rephrases the question or gives an answer himself.

Not All Silence Is Bad

We should note that not all silence is bad. Thinking takes time! So, if a leader asks a thought-provoking question, some silence is natural—especially if the group has not considered the question before.

One of the essential skills for all teachers and small group leaders is the ability to sit in silence. Most people hate silence and will do anything to fill it. But that won’t do in a setting that thrives on conversation. A leader who can’t allow silence short-circuits the thinking and learning that can happen in the group.

What’s the difference between good silence and bad silence? That largely depends on the group, but here’s a rule of thumb. When I was first training as a teacher, a mentor advised me to count silently to fifteen after I asked a question.

For those just learning this skill, fifteen seconds is an eternity. But, comfort comes with repetition. And by allowing this silence, the leader emphasizes that they genuinely want to hear from others.

3 Reasons for Silence

If silence in a group routinely stretches beyond fifteen seconds, something might need to change. There are at least three reasons why a small group leader’s question might be met with silence.

A Bad Question

A group might be silent because the question is bad. It is much easier to ask a bad question than a good one! The older I get, the more convinced I am that asking helpful questions is essential to excellent teaching and fruitful leadership. And asking good questions is hard work.

What makes a bad question in a small group Bible study? Here are three possibilities.

  • The question is too personal. If a small group leader shifts too quickly from textual to personal questions, this whiplash may cause people to close up.
  • The question is too obvious. Leaders should avoid asking fill-in-the-blank questions. Group members may feel insulted by questions with trivial answers.
  • The question is too difficult. While a leader has been studying the passage for hours, some group members have just read it for the first time. Asking people to perform high-level analysis without the proper lead-up is sometimes asking too much.

A Bad Atmosphere

So much of what happens in a small group depends on the climate of the group. Start/stop times, topics for small talk, even who prays and for how long—these are among the many aspects of a small group that develop over time and are a part of its atmosphere.

How much a group values discussion is a foundational part of a small group’s culture. And the small group leader has a huge influence.

Simply put, if the Bible study leader doesn’t value or desire input from group members, discussion is much less likely to occur, regardless of how many questions are asked.

A small group’s atmosphere may also be affected by dominant group members, conflicts between people, or other issues that do not arise from the leader. These may make the climate unfriendly to participation.

Reluctant Group Members

The first two reasons for silence were problems to be fixed. The third reason falls in a different category.

Some people are, by nature, less willing to answer questions in a group setting. They may be afraid of giving a wrong answer, they may take longer to think through answers, or they may just not enjoy talking in a group setting.

A person’s physical or mental health can also play a role in their participation. A group member who is ill, tired, grieving, or depressed may be more withdrawn during group meetings. These are natural and understandable reasons for not answering questions.

Encouraging Conversations

Any small group leader who wants their group to bear fruit is frustrated when they ask a question and hear no response. The good news is that there are ways to improve as a leader to minimize these stretches of silence.

In my next post we’ll start to explore how a leader can ask questions that stimulate thought and illuminate the Scripture. We will also learn some tips to create a culture of friendly interaction within the small group. Finally, we will discuss ways to understand, value, and encourage group members who don’t often participate.

Make the Most of Virtual Small Groups

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Becky Kiern and Jenilyn Swett have a wise and practical piece at the Gospel Coalition, arguing that “Your Virtual Small Group Can Still be Vibrant.” They have great suggestions for both leaders and participants. Here is a taste:

• Keep virtual meetings shorter than in-person meetings. An hour is usually plenty of time. When groups meet in person, they build in time for small talk, for grabbing coffee or snacks, and for participants to reconnect—all prior to diving into the meeting. But virtual platforms make these interactions nearly impossible, and extended digital meetings can lead to a loss of focus. 
• Consider limiting your group to around 10 or fewer. If your group has previously been larger than this, consider breaking into smaller groups for your virtual meetings this semester. As the number of participants in a virtual discussion increases, each one’s sense of being a vital part of the discussion decreases.

The full article has much more for your consideration. Check it out!

Give Them a Deeper Bible Study

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I love Mike Leake’s reflection on what people really want when they ask for a deeper Bible study. Perhaps you’ve experienced the dynamic, where a folks express a holy dissatisfaction with superficial Bible study. They ask for more. You labor to deliver it to them. And then…

One of two things seems to happen. What often happens is that nobody shows up for our super deep Bible study. Or they show up and they get bored and they drop out. And so we conclude that they didn’t actually want deeper Bible study. Or, secondly, people do show up, they devour the Bible study, they really learn their Bibles, they get deeply educated but something is still missing. Sometimes it seems as if knowledge isn’t translating into lifestyle. But more often than not, what is happening is that these folks who are devouring the word studies are still asking for something deeper.

This is because when people say they want deeper Bible study they do not mean they want to go deeper into the Word but what they are really desiring (and what I believe the Spirit of God is prompting) is for the Word to go deeper into them. This is what they mean when they say that but we’ve often heard this request the wrong way.

Leake then shows how Hebrews 4:12 expects exactly this sort of “deeper” Bible study. His post is well worth a few minutes of your time.

Check it out!

When You’ve Led a Bad Bible Study: Preparing

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Matt Botsford (2018), public domain

You’ve led a bad Bible study and tried to learn from the mistakes you’ve made. What comes next?

Well, usually there’s another study to lead! As you prepare for that meeting you have an opportunity to avoid the problems that turned your last meeting sour.

Remember the Gospel

Coming out of a recent bad experience, it’s easy to approach your next Bible study meeting with an unanchored heart. On the one hand, you might take this as an opportunity to prove yourself, to show the last meeting was an aberration. On the other hand, you might limp into the meeting, wounded and wearing failure on your sleeve.

There’s a better way. The gospel of Jesus keeps you from both extremes. When you know the love of God deep in your bones, you don’t have anything to prove. An outstanding Bible study this time around doesn’t earn you any points with God. The gospel also reminds you that Jesus came for sinners. Your mistakes are not a surprise to God; the price has already been paid. That penance you are trying to complete by wallowing in your sin is unnecessary.

Hear this loud and clear: You cannot lead well enough for God to love you any more. And you cannot lead poorly enough for God to love you any less.

You are God’s precious child, adopted and perfectly loved. This should give you confidence to face your next Bible study with hope and excitement, knowing that God is at work in you and in your friends as you read and discuss his Word.

Use What You’ve Learned

In my previous post, I suggested there might be valuable lessons to learn from that bad Bible study meeting. As you think toward your next meeting, now is the time to turn those lessons into actions.

If your bad meeting was a result of leader error, make sure you budget extra preparation time. Be sure to study the text carefully and ask God to change you through his Word. Approach your group with humility, knowing that even though you’ve studied the passage more than others, you might still have a lot to learn. Take the necessary time to write out good questions, leading your friends through the text to the main point (as you understand it).

If your last Bible study flopped because of conflict in the group, be sure to have any necessary conversations (no matter how uncomfortable) before the group meets next. As much as it depends on you, make sure the air is clear. You might also prayerfully consider where difficult questions or sharp opinions might arise during the upcoming study and develop a plan for handling touchy situations.

Pray

My first post in this series was all about prayer, so this might sound redundant. But, like Paul (Phil 3:1), I don’t mind repeating myself.

The whole process of leading a small group Bible study should be submerged in prayer from start to finish. Pray as you study the Bible on your own. Pray as you write your leader’s notes and your study questions. Pray as you drive to the meeting! Pray after the meeting ends.

No effective Bible study leader will neglect this essential part of the ministry.

Talk it Through

When my math students ask for advice about studying for exams, I tell them to talk to someone about the problems they’re completing. I think there’s something in the brain that snaps into place when we speak out loud what we had previously only been thinking.

In the same way, I’d encourage every Bible study leader to talk through the goals of their upcoming meeting with a friend. Describe the main point of the passage and how you plan to help your group make the connections. Explain the applications you’ve made personally and the reasons behind the specific application questions you’ve planned.

Learn and Improve

That Bible study you led? We don’t need to pretend it was good. But the God who brings life from death may have something important for you in it.

By praying, learning, and preparing for the next Bible study meeting, you can make the most of that experience you’d rather forget.

When You’ve Led a Bad Bible Study: Learning

By

Kyle Gregory Devaras (2017), public domain

If your last Bible study meeting was a clunker, all is not lost. It happens! Take some time to pray and sort things through with God.

After you’ve prayed, you might be tempted to bury that meeting deep in the forest. But don’t get out your shovel just yet; that bad meeting might offer some lessons as you look to improve as a Bible study leader.

Diagnosing the Problem

A Bible study can turn sour for many reasons. In my experience, bad meetings fall into two main categories: leader error and group conflict.

Leader Error

When I look back at Bible studies gone wrong, I often spot my own lack of sufficient preparation.

  • not enough study time — Sometimes I simply haven’t spent enough time in the text of Scripture. And if I haven’t wrestled with the text myself, I shouldn’t be surprised if I struggle to help others understand.
  • no personal change — To prepare for a meeting, I need to apply the passage to my own head, heart, and hands. And yet leaders often skip this crucial step. This may be due to a lack of time, but it may also be due to an unwillingness to face some hard parts of life that need to change.
  • unhealthy expectations — God speaks through his Spirit and through his Word. And sometimes he uses other Christians (aside from me!) to explain the truth of the Bible. If I assume that my interpretation is perfect and I expect everyone to see what I have seen and agree with me immediately, I’m likely to be disappointed. I need to pray for and welcome observations and correction from others.
  • poor questions — For my small group leadership, the top predictor of a bad Bible study is a lack of good questions. The less I prepare, the more I talk (instead of encouraging discussion), and this often results in vague or rambling questions that drop to the floor like an anvil. Preparation needs to involve not just understanding the text but drawing a clear line from text-based observations to the main point of the passage. If I’m unwilling or unable to put the work in on this level, I shouldn’t expect a good study.

Perhaps the way to correct these mistakes is clear: leaders need to address any deficiencies in their own preparation.

Group Conflict

Sometimes the bad Bible study didn’t have as much to do with your preparation as it did with interaction among the group during the meeting. This isn’t unusual—any time sinners (which is to say, humans) gather, there’s a potential for conflict or misunderstanding. These usually show up in two ways.

  • the leader fumbles — A Bible study leader needs to know how to handle questions, silence, unexpected answers, and criticism. If you’ve dropped the ball on any of these matters, you’re not alone! I’d suggest seeking counsel from someone in your church who knows you and others in your group; they might be able to suggest how to prepare for these aspects of the meeting and respond with grace. And if you’ve sinned against any of your friends out of impatience, frustration, or self-protection, you should ask for their forgiveness as soon as possible.
  • conflict among group members — On rare occasions, a Bible study meeting might be compromised by a conflict between group members. Regardless of the cause of the flare-up, the tension caused by a vocal disagreement can spoil the night. In this situation, you’ll need to talk to the people involved and encourage them to resolve their conflict in a way that squares with the Bible.

Always Learning

The steps to learning after a bad study are familiar: identify the mistake or problem, think through its cause, address the root concern, and seek wisdom to move forward.

When we lead a bad Bible study, we can view it as a setback or an opportunity. If we take the time to learn, we may just become better leaders who help people walk more closely with God.

Advice for Awkward Moments in Bible Studies

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Megan Hill interviews three women’s Bible study leaders for practical counsel on how to handle awkward moments in group meetings. They address situations such as excessive talking, direct challenge to the leader, off-topic questions, and theological hobby horses.

These seasoned leaders have some great thoughts on how to serve all the members of the group in such challenging situations. Check it out!

HT: Andy Cimbala