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Proverbs: Author

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The proverbs of Solomon, son of David, king of Israel (Prov 1:1).

Who better to comment on the details of earthly existence than Solomon, the son of David, the king of Israel? As the man Solomon, he had exceptional God-given insight and understanding. As the son of David, he had the promise of a kingdom for God, a special relationship with God, and steadfast love from God. As the king of Israel, he had both power and unparalleled wealth. These three resources – God’s wisdom, God’s promise, and great wealth – made Solomon uniquely qualified to compose proverbs. 

Image generated using Jetpack AI Assistant from the prompt crown on a pile of gold coins and books

1. God’s Wisdom (“Solomon”)

Solomon asked God for “an understanding mind to govern” God’s people so he could “discern between good and evil” (1 Kings 3:9), and the Lord promised to honor Solomon’s request (1 Kings 3:12). On account of his wise judgment, all Israel “stood in awe of the king, because they perceived that the wisdom of God was in him to do justice” (1 Kings 3:28).

Solomon’s God-given wisdom surpassed that of all the sages of the East and of Egypt (1 Kings 4:29-31). This means he was smarter than Confucius and cleverer than the Buddha. He spoke 3,000 proverbs (about 900 of which are in the book of Proverbs), and his songs were 1,005 (1 Kings 4:32). He spoke of many details of life, such as trees, birds, reptiles, and fish (1 Kings 4:33). International students from every corner of the globe competed for a seat in his classroom (1 Kings 4:34). Solomon was both more prolific and more elegant than any other scholar of his day because he had direct access to the mind of the Lord of heaven and earth.

2. God’s Promise (“Son of David”)

The Lord himself promised to build up and sustain Solomon in his wisdom. First, he promised him a kingdom. Speaking to Solomon’s father David, God said, “When your days are fulfilled and you lie down with your fathers, I will raise up your offspring after you, who shall come from your body, and I will establish his kingdom” (2 Samuel 7:12). Second, he promised to have a special relationship with Solomon: “I will be to him a father, and he shall be to me a son. When he commits iniquity, I will discipline him” (2 Samuel 7:14). Third, he promised to love him to the end: “My steadfast love will not depart from him” (2 Samuel 7:15).

Notice how these first two resources (God’s wisdom and God’s promise) are connected. Solomon could have all the wisdom in the world, but without the promise of God to sustain him, it would all be for naught. Imagine studying for a test.  You can learn every fact and formula. You could even memorize a transcript of every word your teacher spoke in class. These actions might impart wisdom to you. But if you get no sleep the night before the exam, you will have no power or ability to recall and apply everything you learned. So God’s wisdom gave Solomon the raw insight he needed, and God’s promise gave Solomon the beautiful power of follow-through.

3. Great Wealth (“King of Israel”)

King Solomon had an annual income of 666 talents of gold (1 Kings 10:14). (This amount only takes into account his base salary; adding in tax revenue and investment income would push the figure even higher. See 1 Kings 10:15.) Translated into modern American currency, Solomon’s annual income was in excess of $1.5 billion.[1] To put this figure into perspective, note that Portuguese soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo (the world’s highest paid athlete) made only $260 million in 2024. In fact, the top 10 highest paid athletes combined still didn’t make as much in a year as King Solomon. It would be difficult to find anyone in our generation comparable to Solomon in his wealth.

The point of this little economics lesson: What could you do with all that capital? If Solomon lacked for anything, he could acquire it. If he wanted to try something out, it was his. He had access to the best technology, education, public safety, athletics, arts & entertainment, food, hobbies, and service that the world could offer him. Whatever his eyes desired, he did not keep from them.[2] Solomon explored every aspect of the created world with his wisdom, and he carefully examined it for every ounce of value. He now provides his experience—both positive and negative—of every delightful thing in a collection of wise sayings.

In conclusion, Solomon was abundantly qualified to take on the role of the sage of Israel and of the world. He had every possible resource at his disposal, and God gave him both the insight and the power to evaluate it wisely. His credentials are sufficient to the task of imparting wisdom.

[1]Some readers won’t be able to hear anything else I write until they know how I arrived at this figure. This footnote is just for you. The New Bible Dictionary (Downers Grove, IL: IVP, 1962), p.1234 states that 1 ancient talent equals approximately 30 modern kilograms. Therefore, 666 talents = 19,980 kg. On August 8, 2024, 24-karat gold was worth USD $77,451/kilo. Therefore, 19,980 kg of 24-karat gold = $1.55 billion. (Affiliate link)

[2]Ecclesiastes 2:10.  Even if, as some claim, Solomon were not “the Preacher” of Ecclesiastes, it would appear that the Preacher at least aims to connect his spiritual authority with Solomon’s reputation (see Ecclesiastes 1:1).

Why “Proverbs Aren’t Promises” is Misleading

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Pick up a book with Bible-reading advice, and you’ll barely get your nose in before it gets mashed with the ubiquitous yet astonishingly forceful declaration: Proverbs aren’t promises! This piece of conventional wisdom is everywhere. Though it has roots in careful thinking about the genre of wisdom literature, this advice often goes too far and misses the point of the proverbs.

In almost every case, the counsel comes with strong emotion and a reference to Proverbs 22:6. Too many people have seen too many people bludgeon the hurting parents of wayward children through immature and thoughtless reference to this crucial verse about parenting. (“If you had trained your child right, he would not have walked away from the Lord.”) And the pastoral reflex is just right. This is not how to use Scripture.

Train me up. I promise I'll be good.
Train me up. I promise I’ll be good.

But the conclusion—that proverbs are not promises—is not right. In this case, the cure is worse than the disease.

Deep Roots

Consider first, the many respectable authors and pastors who promote the conventional wisdom. They often offer sound counsel, and their sensitivity to abuse is spot on. But when discussing how to read wisdom literature, they move in synchrony:

“A common mistake in biblical interpretation and application is to give a proverbial saying the weight or force of a moral absolute.” (R.C. Sproul)

“The proverbs commend certain paths to family members because they reflect the ways God ordinarily distributes His blessings. But ordinarily does not mean necessarily…Proverbs are not promises.” (Richard Pratt)

“The particular blessings, rewards, and opportunities mentioned in Proverbs are likely to follow if one will choose the wise courses of action outlined in the poetic, figurative language of the book. But nowhere does Proverbs teach automatic success.” (Gordon Fee & Douglas Stuart)

“The proverbs are meant to be general principles.” (John Piper)

“The proverbs appear to represent likelihoods rather than absolutes with God’s personal guarantee attached.” (James Dobson)

In other words, all agree: Proverbs are general, but not universal, statements. Proverbs are usually, or ordinarily, true. They speak about what is likely, not about what is guaranteed. But proverbs certainly are not promises. They are not absolutes. We cannot bank on them completely.

Where the Roots Run Aground

But consider some amazing statements from the proverbs. And consider where we end up if we read them as probabilities instead of promises. The conventional wisdom feels right with a verse like Proverbs 22:6, but it doesn’t hold up with much of the rest of the book.

According to Lady Wisdom: “If you turn at my reproof, behold, I will pour out my spirit to you; I will make my words known to you” (Prov 1:23). According to the conventional approach, this means that only most people who turn at wisdom’s reproof will know her words. It cannot be absolutely certain that wisdom is available to those who turn to her. Some who turn will be disappointed when she rejects them anyway.

Or consider chapter 2: “My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding…if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God” (Prov 2:1-5). This can’t really mean what it says. What Solomon wants to communicate is that those who receive and treasure, pay attention and incline their hearts, seek wisdom like silver and search for it as for hidden treasure—such people might understand the fear of the Lord. Some—but not all—who seek the wisdom of God, and who seek it in the way God requires, will know God in the end. Hopefully you can be one of the lucky ones.

But it gets better. “For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding; he stores up sound wisdom for the upright; he is a shield to those who walk in integrity (Prov 2:6-7). Today, of course, we know that only sometimes does the Lord give wisdom. This isn’t absolute, because of course you can find wisdom in other places besides him. He’s usually the source of wisdom, but if you try other places, other deities, other schools of thought, you might also get the life you need.

Or let’s hear personified Wisdom once more: “For whoever finds me finds life and obtains favor from the Lord, but he who fails to find me injures himself; all who hate me love death” (Prov 8:35-36). Because this can’t be a promise, it must be only a likelihood. So those who find the fear of the Lord and walk in his wisdom might get his favor. Or they might end up still injuring themselves and dying the eternal death. Ya never know. In this broken world of ours, it’s a crap shoot. So go with the better odds; but don’t bank on any certainties.

Proverbs are Promises…With a Context

There has to be a better way to read this genre. And I contend that, when a proverb sounds like a promise, it is making a promise! And you can always trust God’s promises. When a proverb issues a command, it is making a moral absolute!

However, these promises and commands all have a context. Just as Jeremiah 29:11 was a promise with a context (not modern-day graduates, but ancient Israelites in exile), so also proverbs have a context, a specific situation at which they are aimed. And instead of seeing proverbs as “general” or “broad” statements, we need to see them for what they truly are: very specific and particular statements. They speak to the minute details of life, which is why they can even sound contradictory at times. For example, see Prov 26:4-5. One saying is always true in a certain context (where answering a fool will make you as foolish as he is), and the next statement is always true in a different context (where not answering a fool will leave him wise in his own eyes). Wise people will discern which context they find themselves in. But both statements are always true within their contexts, and absolutely so. Neither statement is a mere likelihood.

And to get more specific, the context of the Proverbs is God’s covenant with Israel. The promises of Proverbs typically involve blessings or curses for those who keep or reject the covenant stipulations to know the Lord and walk in his wisdom. Just read Proverbs 3:1-12 immediately after Deuteronomy 28, and you can’t help but observe the contextual connection. However, nobody argues that Deuteronomy 28 contains only “probabilities,” or that these covenant blessings and curses are “not promises.” No, these promises of blessing and cursing exist within the context of God’s covenant with Israel and simply require care to apply them properly to our new covenant context.

Objection #1: Why are You the Only One Saying This?

I’m not. Everyone agrees that Bruce Waltke has written “the standard commentary” on Proverbs. Yet few listen to him on this point:

“The popular evangelical solution that these are not promises but probabilities, though containing an element of truth, raises theological, practical, and psychological problems by stating the matter badly…A psychologically well person could scarcely trust God with all his heart (Prov 3:5) knowing that he usually, but not always, keeps his obligations.” (The Book of Proverbs, Chapters 1-15 (Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans, 2004), pp. 107-8)

Brothers and sisters, let us no longer state this matter badly.

Objection #2: What About Proverbs 22:6?

So we must return to that which set us down the false trail. What will we do with those who mistakenly read Prov 22:6 as a promise, and thus trample on faithful, wounded people who cannot control the hearts of their children?

We must understand the context to which this proverb speaks. In his book, God’s Wisdom in Proverbs (pp.353-379), Dan Phillips argues convincingly that Prov 22:6 means almost the opposite of what we tend to think. The verse doesn’t promise superhero children to those who follow the correct parenting techniques. Instead, it threatens selfish, miscreant children to those who refuse to use God’s means (the rod and the word of patient, faithful exhortation) to drive the folly from their children’s hearts.

In other words, the verse does not promise good kids to all good parents. But it does threaten bad kids to all bad parents. Train up your child according to his way. Teach him to continue loving himself and putting himself at the center of the universe. Show him over time that there are no consequences to his foolish choices. And even when he is old, he will not depart from his natural inclinations toward himself and himself alone. This is a promise.

But even this covenant curse has a context within the covenant of grace. There is always hope. The grace of our Lord overflows with the faith and love which are in Christ Jesus. “And the saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners.”

Photo Credit: Clark Maxwell (2010), Creative Commons

This post was first published in 2016.

Disclaimer: Above, Amazon links to great books are affiliate links. If you click those links, I promise you I will usually receive a small commission, ordinarily at no extra cost to yourself. But you never know when Amazon may change the terms of their agreement with me. Don’t read such probabilities as absolute promises. Click only if you dare to dig into this topic further.

Proverbs: Genre

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Proverbs 1:1: “The proverbs of Solomon…”

This first phrase of Proverbs is the title for the entire book. Note first that the goal of the author is not to provide hard and fast “laws” to govern all behavior. He does not aim to form a comprehensive code of “prophecies” or “ethics” by which we can measure our progress in obedience. Rather, he writes “proverbs.”

As Derek Kidner puts it, “there are details of character small enough to escape the mesh of the law and the broadsides of the prophets, and yet decisive in personal dealings.”[1] In other words, while God’s law addresses the foundational principles undergirding all godly virtue, and while the prophecies shock people into returning from their sin back to these core moral principles, the proverbs address issues like “what should I do when I wake up tomorrow morning?”

Dictionary.com defines a proverb as “a short popular saying, usually of unknown and ancient origin, that expresses effectively some commonplace truth or useful thought.” That’s how native English speakers use the word “proverb,” and most translators find it adequate to represent the original Hebrew term.

What’s the point? Simply that the compiler of Proverbs reveals commonplace truths in short, memorable sayings. He’s describing principles of everyday living. He wants us to know the Lord in the messy and disorganized details of life.

close up photo gasoline fuel pump
Photo by Ekaterina Belinskaya on Pexels.com

Proverbs help address questions such as: should you buy a house or continue renting? When is your child old enough to become romantically involved with someone? When your friend sins, should you confront him or cover it over in love? Should you take that new job offer? How soon should you pay off your debt? Which octane gasoline should you put in your tank? What could you say to your non-Christian neighbor that would be both bold and winsome?

Biblical proverbs are high-mileage statements with suped-up verbal turbines. They contain nuggets of truth crafted attractively and concisely to provoke consideration. They arise from the daily experience of those who, like Solomon, live life with their eyes open.

[1] Proverbs: An Introduction & Commentary (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1964), p.13.

This post was first published in 2012.

Proverbial Disclaimer: Those who click affiliate links bring joy to the blogger’s soul; they will suffer no increase in cost to themselves.

Proverbs: A Journey in the Right Direction

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With its intensely practical insight, Proverbs tends to be a fan-favorite Old Testament book, included along with the Psalms in the Gideons’ infamous pocket New Testaments. Who doesn’t enjoy having a book of the Bible where they can turn to almost any page to find nuggets of advice directly applicable to nearly anyone, anywhere? But if we step back to examine the book as a whole, its overall argument may help us to read each portion of it more carefully.

Literary Markers

Proverbs explicitly marks off its major divisions with a series of headings:

  • The proverbs of Solomon, son of David, king of Israel – Prov 1:1
  • The proverbs of Solomon – Prov 10:1
  • The words of the wise – Prov 22:17
  • These also are sayings of the wise – Prov 24:23
  • Proverbs of Solomon which the men of Hezekiah king of Judah copied – Prov 25:1
  • The words of Agur son of Jakeh – Prov 30:1
  • The word’s of King Lemuel’s mother – Prov 31:1

A cursory glance at each of the divisions shows that the poems in Prov 1-9 are rather lengthy, with some filling a full chapter. The “proverbs” in Prov 10-22 and Prov 25-29 are almost completely made up of pithy, one-verse sayings. The “words” and “sayings” of Prov 22:17-24:22, 24:23-34, 30:1-33, and 31:1-31 consist primarily of brief 3- or 4-verse stanzas (the chief exception being the longer poem on the excellent wife in Prov 31:10-31). These differences in poetic device suggest slightly different reading strategies for each division of the book.

Let’s walk through these divisions.

Building the House

In chapters 1 through 9, wisdom builds her house (Prov 9:1). The long poems in these chapters lay the groundwork for the rest of the book by explaining what wisdom is, how to get it, what will prevent a person from getting it, and blessings and curses of finding it/not finding it. These concepts provide the structure of thought within which the rest of the book is to be interpreted.

The introductory poem (Prov 1:2-7) reveals the purpose of the book, which is to impart wisdom—defined as a journey in the right direction: toward Yahweh and away from oneself. Solomon then introduces the first archenemy of wisdom—the desire for more stuff (Prov 1:8-19) before describing the consequences of spiritual inertia (Prov 1:20-33). He explains how to become wise (Prov 2) and what to expect when wisdom invades a person’s life (Prov 3-4).

Chapter 5 begins a subsection that draws out, in great detail, the second archenemy of wisdom—the desire for more pleasure (Prov 5, 6:20-35, 7). Tucked inside all the talk about more pleasure is a reflection on three particularly dangerous kinds of fool: the savior, the sluggard, and the sower of discord (Prov 6:1-19).

The frame of wisdom’s house is completed by a celebration of wisdom’s ability to turn nobodies into somebodies (Prov 8), along with a grand opening celebration and invitation to partake of the feast (Prov 9).

Spreading the Feast

The remaining chapters contain the feast of wisdom, spread for those who take up this book and allow it to overtake their thinking and behavior.

The scattershot proverbs of chapters 10-22 and 25-29 must be read within the framework erected in chapters 1-9. Though it may be easy to find practical advice for topics such as financial management, friendship, influence, leadership, and communication, we must be careful not divorce such advice from the fear of Yahweh, which must be the beginning of wisdom. In other words, all such advice is intended to help a person draw closer to Yahweh, receiving counsel from him, and rejecting the seduction of self-love and self-reliance. This advice really works only in a world where its adherents are trusting in a wisdom from above, an alien righteousness, a righteousness that comes through faith.

Why is the practical advice in these chapters so jumbled up, lurching from topic to topic faster than a Narnian chipmunk with ADHD? I don’t know for sure, and perhaps we’ll never know. But I have come to appreciate the educated guess of my seminary professor: Perhaps the book was arranged this way to mimic real life. When do we ever have a day when all we need to think about is money, or a day for friendship, or a day completely for labor? Each minute of our lives jumps from topic to topic, and perhaps Proverbs aims to simulate what it is like to draw near to the Lord in humility and with a teachable heart.

Non-Solomonic Material

If Solomon was the book’s primary editor (besides Hezekiah’s men a few centuries later – Prov 25:1), he wasn’t afraid to include material that wasn’t original to him. When he found instruction consistent with Yahweh’s revelation to Israel, he was more than happy to glean from it all he could.

The “words of the wise” in Prov 22:17-24:22 appear to have particular concern for how wise people contribute to a wise society. The additional “sayings of the wise” (Prov 24:23-34) teach the leaders of God’s people how to execute their responsibilities in a way that reflects God’s character. The words of Agur (Prov 30) draw attention back to first principles, calling us to place our trust in the King of Israel and the Word of God, with full awareness and humility. And the words of King Lemuel (Prov 31) give kings their final marching orders.

The Fear of the Lord

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. This crucial principle of wisdom frames the opening division (Prov 1:7, 9:10). It also makes a return in the closing lines (Prov 31:30). Without the fear of the Lord, a person cannot be wise. And without wisdom, they forfeit all the glorious blessings of wisdom recounted in this book.

So we’d better make sure we understand what the fear of the Lord is. And you won’t understand it if all you do is look up each word in a dictionary.

In Prov 1:7, the fear of the Lord is the contrast to the despising of wisdom and instruction (the thing fools do). In Prov 1:29, the fear of the Lord is the thing fools will never choose. In Prov 8:13, the fear of the Lord is the hatred of evil, especially the rejection of pride and arrogance. In Prov 9:10, the fear of the Lord has to do with the insight one has when he knows the Holy One. In Prov 15:33, the fear of the Lord is instruction in wisdom. In Prov 29:25, the fear of the Lord is equated with trust in the Lord.

The fear of the Lord is not meant to be a fuzzy or opaque concept in Proverbs. It simply describes the posture of receiving from God. It is a willful choice to turn away from listening to oneself and toward listening to the Lord. It is the act of receiving instruction from God, instead of being wise in your own eyes. The fear of the Lord is in Proverbs what justification by faith is in Paul’s epistles. This is why Christ had to become our wisdom from God (1 Cor 1:30-31).

Will the posture of your heart be one of receiving from the Lord today? Or will it be one of protecting yourself, promoting yourself, or listening to the world’s enticement to keep following your heart? Proverbs is for you. May it turn you about and set you on a journey in the right direction: away from yourself and toward your Creator, Redeemer, and King, in every area of your life.

For more interpretive walkthroughs of books of the Bible, click here.

This post was first published in 2020.

Intro to the Wisdom of Proverbs, Part 2

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Wisdom’s counterfeits have been around from the beginning.

Wisdom has built her house;
She has hewn her seven pillars.
She has slaughtered her beasts;
She has mixed her wine;
She has also set her table.
She has sent out her young women to call
From the highest places in the town,
‘Whoever is simple, let him turn in here!’
To him who lacks sense she says,
‘Come, eat of my bread
And drink of the wine I have mixed.
Leave your simple ways, and live,
And walk in the way of insight.’

The woman Folly is loud;
She is seductive and knows nothing.
She sits at the door of her house;
She takes a seat on the highest places of the town,
Calling to those who pass by,
Who are going straight on their way,
‘Whoever is simple, let him turn in here!’
And to him who lacks sense she says,
‘Stolen water is sweet,
And bread eaten in secret is pleasant.’
But he does not know that the dead are there,
That her guests are in the depths of Sheol.”

Proverbs 9:1-6, 13-18

Wisdom and Folly are two women who both want to have you over for dinner. One of them has done the hard work of building her house, setting the table, and sending her servants out with a personal invitation for you. The other woman is a moocher. She just sits in her doorway moaning, and the best she has to offer you is what she stole from the first lady. She’s a phony, a fake, and a counterfeit.

counterfeit dollar banknotes
Photo by Kayla Linero on Pexels.com

Wisdom’s Counterfeits

Today, there are all kinds of phony beliefs people have about wisdom, and becoming wise. The sneakiest of these are not total falsehoods, but rather half-truths. The woman Folly offers a real, albeit unsatisfying, banquet. In other words, these counterfeits sound and feel credible on the surface, but they don’t fully capture the truth of God’s wisdom. Here are 5 examples of wisdom’s counterfeits prevalent in our culture. For each one, I’ll state the common perception, identify the true part of it, and expose the foolish part of it.

1.  Wisdom comes from something inherent in our status, like noble birth or wealth.

What is true about this idea?  By living wisely, someone may actually be able to improve his circumstances or status (Proverbs 3:16).  However, the folly surfaces when we realize that even rich people can be fools (Psalm 49:20).

2.  Wisdom comes with education.

The truth here is that godly people should value good education (Proverbs 23:23).  What part of this example is foolish?  Those with education, degrees, titles, or letters after their names are still fools if they haven’t been with Jesus (Acts 4:13).

3.  Wisdom comes with experience.

The truth: experiencing or practicing something can help us grow in discernment (Hebrews 5:14).  The folly: even the most experienced individual may not have learned the right lessons yet (Proverbs 27:22).

4.  Wisdom comes with age.

The truth: there may be a certain wise perspective that comes with the hindsight of age (Psalm 37:25).  The folly: unfortunately, some older folks can be bitter, unteachable, and more foolish than ever (Ecclesiastes 4:13).

5.  Wisdom comes with leadership.

This counterfeit is particularly insidious because godly leadership is a gift from God, and also because those who are young and simple desperately want trustworthy heroes.  However, Jesus often was most angry with those who used their positions of religious leadership to excuse and ignore their own incessant moral failures.  The truth to hold on to is that our church leaders should be the wisest people in the community: an elder or church leader “must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it” (Titus 1:9).  We get this backward, however, when we think leadership qualifies a person to be a wise counselor, rather than recognizing that wisdom is what qualifies a person for leadership (Psalm 119:99).  Just because this person is my priest, pastor, bishop, elder, deacon, Sunday School teacher, youth leader, or parent, does not mean that everything he or she says is wise or biblical!  Everyone (except for Jesus) is a sinner who makes mistakes, occasionally demonstrates unclear thinking, or simply might be too subjective to make a good decision right now.  Therefore, we must be careful not to naively equate wisdom with leadership roles.

Wisdom’s Reality

What is the whole truth?  How does one actually become wise?  Go back and re-read Proverbs 9:1-6, 13-18 and see that the answer is this: You become wise by dining at wisdom’s table.  You simply know the best place to eat!  You’re hungry, and you need some carbs.  You refuse to consume counterfeits; you want the real deal.  Imitation crab meat might help your casserole in a pinch, but who would choose that over an authentic Maryland feast awash in Old Bay seasoning?

What does it mean to dine at wisdom’s table?  “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you.  Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day. For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink” (John 6:53-55).  Jesus is wisdom’s feast.  Trust in him.  Feast on his goodness and mercy.  Ask him for life and wisdom.  Quit gorging yourself on the secret bread of reputation, pleasure, relationships, wealth, or religious activity.

In Proverbs 1 through 9, Wisdom will build her house.  She’ll hew out her pillars.  She’ll cook her meat and mix her wine.  She’ll even set a place for you at the table.  Then she’ll invite you to tuck in and enjoy the feast.  The rest of Proverbs will lie before you ready for consumption.  Even more so, the rest of Scripture will open up for you, a delightful spread of all manner of wonderful things.  But above all, Jesus will become more real to you, his mercy will extend toward you, and his passion for your freedom and glory will captivate you.  All you can do then is start munching.

Next week we’ll begin.

This post was first published in 2012.

Intro to the Wisdom of Proverbs, Part 1

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I’m beginning a series of posts on the book of Proverbs, with the goal of exploring how ordinary people can grow in wisdom.  By “ordinary people” I mean people who like to hang out with friends, people who have families, people who work jobs and have things to take care of, people who enjoy hobbies and travel and music and sports and tasty food.  By “wisdom” I’m referring to the extraordinary things that happen when a person loves Jesus a lot and wants to be like him.

close up photography of owl
Photo by Jean van der Meulen on Pexels.com

Why am I writing these posts?  Because I, like you, think of myself as being one of the most ordinary people on the planet.  Although I am a full-time missionary with a campus ministry called DiscipleMakers, and that might make some people think of me as being somewhat abnormal, I still feel like I’m someone who is as close to ordinary as you can get.  I’m not very tall.  I have a mortgage payment.  I can’t afford to hire someone to mow my lawn for me, even though I totally wish I could.  My children squabble over whose turn it is to press the button on the elevator.  I like double cheeseburgers.  If you want to hear about someone who is not ordinary, someone who is truly superior and extraordinary in many ways, then I’ll tell you about my wife.  But I won’t do that now, because I’ll have plenty of opportunity to brag about her in future posts.

Many wise people have written excellent works about Proverbs.  I haven’t read them all, but most of the ones I’ve read examine Proverbs with a topical approach.  They discuss things like how we should handle our money, or what sort of friend we should be to others, or how to speak words that build up and don’t tear down.  These books, when done well, are simply terrific, and I highly recommend them to you.[1]  Other books that take more of an expositional (or verse-by-verse) approach tend to be pretty technical commentaries and are thus somewhat inaccessible to ordinary people.

My intention in this series of posts is to lay a foundation for a life of wisdom by examining Proverbs chapters 1 through 9 section-by-section.  Proverbs is one part of the Word of God, and thus is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training us in righteousness (2 Timothy 3:16).  Proverbs 1-9 is one long introduction to the book of Proverbs, and it intentionally explains how wisdom works.  What is wisdom?  Why should I care about it?  How do I get it?  What will keep me from being wise?  Overall, how do I make sense of the details about topics like money, friends, and speech in later chapters?  And while a topical approach makes sense with the seemingly scattered details in chapters 10 through 31, a section-by-section approach to chapters 1 through 9 is warranted by the organized presentation of the material; therefore, in each section, I will seek to capture the main point, trace out the author’s flow of thought, and draw concrete applications to our day.

Above all, the entire Bible, including Proverbs, is about Jesus: his death for sinners, his resurrection to glory, his offer of forgiveness to all who repent, and his mission to proclaim this great message to every nation (Luke 24:46-47).  So, as we study Proverbs, we’ll do our best to focus on Jesus.

This post was first published in 2012.

[1] One example is Anthony Selvaggio, A Proverbs Driven Life (Wapwallopen, PA: Shepherd Press, 2008).  Another is Dan Phillips’s excellent work, God’s Wisdom in Proverbs (The Woodlands, TX: Kress Biblical Resources, 2011). [Amazon affiliate links will provide a small commission to this blog at no extra cost to yourself.]

How Jesus Overcame His Enemies

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I’ve been writing on the theme of strife in Proverbs. It’s wise to avoid it whenever possible. But when that’s not possible, we must recognize its complexities. This enables us to overcome our enemies by dying, because “when a man’s ways please the Lord, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him” (Prov 16:7).

For Real?

But is that for real? Is it possible to achieve peace? Is it possible to please the Lord?

Well, it’s not a magic formula, such that if you plug in certain inputs you are guaranteed an immediate output of peace. Often that peace is a long time in coming, and it comes through much sweat and pain.

‌But the Lord can do it.

‌And If you wish to have peace with your enemies, you’ll never get there by shouting, defending, attacking, or taking revenge. You can’t earn true peace by winning the argument. And you can’t win true peace by letting the enemy steamroll you. Such peace is only God’s to grant when a person’s ways please him.

‌So the big question is: What does it take to please him? What must God’s people do in order for God to grant them victory over their enemies?

Image by Elmer L. Geissler from Pixabay

‌Look at Christ

The best thing we can do is look at our Lord Jesus Christ to see how he did it, because, make no mistake: He certainly triumphed over his enemies.

He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him.

Colossians 2:15

‌Jesus conquered all the demonic spiritual powers who declared war on him. He put them to shame and triumphed over them.

‌But what was his tactic? How did he do it? The two verses immediately prior to this explain it.

And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross.

Colossians 2:13-14

‌We were Jesus’ enemies. We were dead in our sins. And if you pledge your allegiance to him, it shows that he made you alive by forgiving all your trespasses. Every vile thought, and every rebellious word we spoke—all of it was forgiven, having been nailed to the cross along with Jesus.

‌And his death was his greatest triumph.

‌1 Corinthians says that if the demonic powers of the world knew what was happening, they never would have crucified him (1 Cor 2:8),‌ because they thought they were cutting off his work once and for all.

‌But in reality, his death was his victory. The cross was his throne.

‌So Jesus makes the spiritually dead come to life, and he defeats the supernatural powers by giving his life so we could be forgiven. This. This is what empowers our obedience to God’s call of wisdom, because the call of wisdom is a call to come and die with Jesus.

‌Not to defend your rights or set the record straight. Not to win the argument or get your way. But to die to your self-interest for the good of others. These are the Bible’s marching orders for God’s people when they are surrounded by enemies.

‌Because in dying, we transmit life. By pursuing peace, we win the war. By laying down our arms, we disarm those who attack us.

‌This is the only way we could ever waive our rights, ask questions when we want to explain ourselves, persuade with truth, when it would feel better to just win, or confess to our own wrongdoing, when the other person’s wrongdoing seems so much bigger and clearer.

‌The Christian’s Fight

‌So in the end, Christians see their enemies the way the Lord Jesus saw us: Not as vessels of wrath prepared for destruction, but as needy sinners awaiting redemption. That shift in perspective will empower you to do something they’d never expect.

If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat, and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink, for you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you.

Proverbs 25:21-22

‌If you try to win the fight, you will lose. But if you are willing to die to your own interests, if you waive your rights, ask questions instead of making demands, speak compelling truth, make authentic confession whenever appropriate, and in all things seek only to please the Lord—

You will overcome your enemies, and the Lord will reward you for it.

Overcome Your Enemies by Dying

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What do you do when people turn against you? When those who reject the Lord Jesus Christ come after you for daring to follow him? When nitpicking and backstabbing are the standard operating procedure in the workplace? When family members use guilt and pressure to manipulate you into doing what they want?

‌What do you do when your friends turn against you and become your enemies?

‌The book of Proverbs refers to such situations as “strife,” and I’ve previously addressed the causes and complexities of such strife. It’s one thing to try to avoid strife. But what do you do when the dam breaks and the water has come rushing out (Prov 17:14)? When your enemies come after you, and there’s no possibility of staying away?

God does not ask his people to live as idiotic simpletons or punching bags. God wants his people to overcome strife and evil (Rom 12:21). But the way you overcome it matters. To win the fight in the wrong way is to lose.

Image by David Bailey from Pixabay

Fundamental Mindset: What You Can Control

To begin with, the Lord doesn’t expect you or me to try to take his place. None of us can get what we want or predetermine any outcomes. That means we can’t control what others will do; we can control only what we do.

Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man.

Proverbs 3:3-4

When we focus on what we can do in the midst of strife, we are best equipped to live in a way that pleases the Lord. To speak and act with steadfast love and faithfulness and so imitate the God who has shown steadfast love and faithfulness toward us.

Five Tactics: Overcome by Dying

Once we’ve got the right mindset, we’re ready to practice five tactics found along the way of wisdom.

Waived Rights

Do not say, “I will repay evil”; wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you.

Proverbs 20:22

Strife often tempts us to assert our rights—especially the rights to make a defense and to see justice served. But the middle of a heated conversation is typically not the best time for asserting such rights.

The repayment of evil could take the form of vengeance. Even socially acceptable vengeance. For example, if a bully trips a kid walking down the hallway, nobody would complain if that kid got the bully back by tripping him in another hallway. Similarly, when someone shouts and swears at you, it might feel like justice to shout and swear back. But the wise wait for the Lord to deliver them.

The repayment of evil can also take the form of simply seeking to set the record straight or present your resume of good deeds. But it’s usually better to keep quiet and let your enemy show off his folly for all to see.

A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.

Proverbs 29:11

The Lord honors such wisdom, when a person waives their right to speak their mind or to defend their actions. But it feels like death to do this.

Genuine Questions

If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.

Proverbs 18:13

The fool always comes out swinging, spouting accusations. But the wise person knows that there is always more to a situation than meets the eye. So—even when they feel great offense by the terrible and false things said about them—they know they don’t have all the facts, and they take the time to hear out their accusers.

And no matter how ridiculous the accusations may appear, something remarkable happens when—instead of going right into their defense—a wise person instead asks questions.

  • I didn’t realize you felt that way. Can you please tell me more?
  • What did I say or do that caused you so much pain?
  • What did you think I meant by it?
  • How could I have done it differently?
  • How would you like to see our relationship improve?

It’s amazing how disarming such questions can be. Perhaps you really screwed up, and your enemy is just not expressing his concern in a wise manner. If you are wise, you can still learn from it. And if your opponent’s perspective is foolish and unreasonable, your honest questions may give every onlooker the opportunity to see that folly and unreasonableness for themselves.

The Lord honors such wisdom, when a person chooses not to defend themself but makes sure they first have fully understood their opponent’s perspective. But it feels like death to this, especially if you are the only person who cares about trying to understand before being understood.

Compelling Truth

When it’s eventually time for you to speak and offer some of your own answers, you’ll want to do it as compellingly as possible.

That means minding your tone:

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 15:1

It also means speaking only verifiable truth:

The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly.

Proverbs 15:2

If you have done the work of calming your enemy down by asking loads of questions, and by communicating how much you desire to understand their perspective, why would you then wreck the whole thing by responding with a harsh word? Why would you let your disappointment and frustration take over? A harsh word will accomplish nothing except stirring their anger back up.

And if you are wise, your tongue will commend knowledge. In other words, it will formally praise the truth. It will present what is true as something worthy of approval and acceptance.

‌Maybe that sounds self-evident, but most of us don’t do it.

  • ‌If your response to your enemy begins with, “You always…,” then you are not commending knowledge. You are pouring out folly, because nobody “always” says or does the wrong thing.
  • ‌If you frame your response to your enemy as, “I feel that…,” then you are probably not commending knowledge, because the main issue is not how you feel but what was actually said or done.
  • If you allow your severe emotions to warp the facts in any way, you are not commending knowledge, because we’re never justified to twist reality or rewrite history in order to get our own way.

The Lord honors such wisdom, when a person minds their tone and speaks only verifiable truth. This is how they make the truth compelling. But it feels like death to do this, especially if you are the only person in the room who seems to care about such gentle truth.

Authentic Confession

When our self-protective alarm systems kick in, we’re generally quick and eager to defend our every word and deed. But the way of wisdom is to be patient and not be hasty in rendering such self-acquittal.

It is a snare to say rashly, “It is holy,” and to reflect only after making vows.

Proverbs 20:25

So don’t be so quick to label your actions or motivations as holy in the heat of the moment. Don’t be quick to judge yourself as being without guilt. Don’t let fear drive you to make irrational excuses for yourself.

Who can say, “I have made my heart pure; I am clean from my sin”?

Proverbs 20:9

It is true that we must not make stuff up or apologize for things that aren’t sins (Isaiah 5:20-21). But even with that said, it is simply a fact of reality that I am still a sinner who has not yet been made perfect. I should be able to find something in the accusations against me that has a ring of truth. I can take ownership of that, call it what it is, and confess it authentically, without a hint of bitterness or resentment.

The Lord honors such wisdom, when a person doesn’t make excuses, but takes ownership to confess everything they can legitimately confess as sin or weakness. But it feels like death to do this, especially if you are the only person in the room who seems to take any responsibility for their own actions.

God Pleasing

In the midst of strife, some people are desperate to please themselves, so they fight until they win. And other people are desperate to please their enemies, so they stop fighting and roll over, just to calm things down.

‌But the Lord says there is only One whom we must please. And if we do, in fact, please him, it changes everything.

When a man’s ways please the Lord, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.

Proverbs 16:7

Is this for real? We’ll need one more post to examine how the Lord Jesus overcame his enemies so that our ways might please the Lord.

Why Strife is so Complex

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When conflict gets messy and personal, the book of Proverbs refers to it as “strife.” And the first objective for a man or woman of wisdom is to avoid strife whenever possible. The Lord declares those who avoid strife to be honorable (Prov 20:3).

‌But sometimes, it’s just not possible, is it? There are times when we make costly mistakes that cause strife. And there are times when strife hunts us down regardless of how hard we try to avoid it. What do we do then?

Navigating strife requires a wise and mature perspective. Reject the folly of simplistic answers, because human strife is quite a complex dynamic between people. Immature solutions will only end up making it worse.

The Problem with Toothpaste

Though the wise will try to avoid strife whenever possible, they recognize that once it squirts out, you can’t try to shove the toothpaste back into the tube and pretend nothing happened.

The beginning of strife is like letting out water, so quit before the quarrel breaks out.

Proverbs 17:14

“Letting out water” is the ancient equivalent of “toothpaste out of the tube.”‌ Water has no shape in and of itself. When the dam breaks, the water gushes, and you’ll never get it back to where it was.

Image by Pete Linforth from Pixabay

‌So the wise understand that sometimes, it becomes too late. When the quarrel breaks out, you can’t stuff it up and pretend that nothing happened.

‌So if you explode in anger at someone, it’s not okay to come back the next day and sweep it under the rug. Yes, it’s uncomfortable to talk about. Yes, it’s awkward and difficult. No, you don’t want to be tempted to explode yet again.

‌But once the dam breaks and the water is out, we now have something we must talk about and reconcile.

  • ‌What led to it?
  • What were you fearing or believing at the time that caused you to feel so threatened?
  • What did you think would be accomplished by yelling in anger?
  • What would be a better choice to make next time?

‌Now, that sort of conversation works only between reasonable people who want to do what is right. What if you couldn’t bail in time for a quarrel to erupt with someone who is a fool?

‌The Rage of Fools

If a wise man has an argument with a fool, the fool only rages and laughs, and there is no quiet.

Proverbs 29:9

‌The thing a wise person will understand is that most fools do not want to resolve strife. They want only to be right and to be served. And the harder you press on them to back down, compromise, or find righteous resolution, the more you will only subject yourself to ongoing rage and ridicule.

‌So there is a time and a place for the wise to not pursue reconciliation with someone who does not want it.

‌When Jesus was on trial before wicked men who had already made up their minds, Jesus did not try to reconcile things with them!‌ He simply stood before them as silent as a lamb led to slaughter. He had a more important task underway than reconciliation with raging fools.

‌Now in the book of Romans, the apostle Paul commands Christians to live at peace with all men, so far as it depends on you (Rom 12:18). So do all you can to serve, to persuade, and to reconcile. But please recognize the intricate complexity of strife with fools.

The time is likely to come when the best thing you can do is close your mouth and just slowly step away.

‌The Raising of Defenses

‌Another thing that makes strife complex is how personal it can get. And because it gets so personal, strife has the effect of hardening people to one another.

A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city, and quarreling is like the bars of a castle.

Proverbs 18:19

‌This verse talks not about a fool but about a brother. Someone close to you, from your own family! Even perhaps, from the family of God.

‌Sometimes, strife arises from a deep violation of trust and respect. Dealing with such strife is quite complex, because we cannot expect trust to be restored very quickly.

‌For example, let’s say a person discovers their spouse viewing pornography. This is nothing short of adultery, and it often causes feelings of severe pain and betrayal. The offending spouse may be willing to come clean, ask for help, seek counseling. They may even take drastic action to cut the sin out of their life. There is a transaction of forgiveness that must take place.

‌But even when forgiveness is requested and granted, there remains a fortified city that must now be won over. Trust is not quickly restored.

‌It is legitimate for a person to forgive someone for an offense, but to also to need more time to see real change before they can let down their walls to trust again.

‌Please don’t ignore such complexity. Be wise about recognizing it and allowing for it.

‌The Plurality of Perspective

‌One last thing about the complexity of strife is that there is always more than one way to perceive a situation.

The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.

Proverbs 18:17

‌Perhaps you have a friend who has been deeply hurt, or who has been struggling with a certain relationship. It is godly and needful to come alongside that person with a listening ear. Ask questions and listen to their pain and hurt. Ask them what went wrong and how it could be improved.

‌But the wise person will keep in mind that this person’s perspective is not the only perspective. Cross-examination is a basic principle of justice that God built into societies.

‌So while it’s one thing to care for a friend by empathizing with what they have experienced, if you are ever called upon to make a judgment about a situation—or to attempt to fix it or assist with reconciliation—‌it is not wise for you to draw conclusions after hearing only one side of the story.

‌To give a rather straightforward illustration: When a family has more than one child, there is bound to be strife among siblings in the home. And when my wife and I became parents, we committed ourselves to never bring disciplinary action against a child on account of the accusation of a single, embittered sibling.

‌In other words, my son, if you tell me that “he hit me!”—that is not sufficient to warrant a judgment of discipline.

‌More evidence is required. And the accused always gets to have just as much of a hearing as the accuser. If there were any other witnesses, that might be enough. If there is video evidence, that helps. Or if the accused confesses to the crime, then we’ve got the right suspect.

‌But a he said/she said is never enough to convict. That goes for parenting. That goes for society’s justice system. And that goes for counseling and advising your own friends.

‌Wouldn’t the world be such a better place if social media had algorithms built into it to recognize that the first one to label himself or herself “victim” seems right, until others come and examine them? I am not saying that people who claim to be victims are wrong. I am only saying that all sides of a situation must be heard and evidence must be taken into account, before any sort of objective judgment is drawn.

‌Summary

‌Strife sure is complex, isn’t it?

‌You can’t pretend it didn’t happen.

‌You can’t resolve it with a fool.

‌Trust is really hard to restore.

‌And there are always more sides to the story.

‌Part of what it means to fight like a Christian is to recognize such complexity. Yet awareness is only the first reaction, the fundamental perspective a wise person ought to develop amid situations of strife. Once the complexity has been recognized, what is the wise man or woman of God to do about it?

That will require us to search out more proverbs to guide us.

The Wisdom of Avoiding Strife

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Conflict is hard.

Defining Strife

By “conflict,” I’m referring not to everyday disagreements, but to the sort of disagreements that look like knock-down, drag-em-out fights, that turn people into enemies of one another. The book of Proverbs refers to such situations as “strife.”

These are situations with neighbors or coworkers who find every opportunity to ridicule your Christian faith and try to make you angry so you slip up. Or classmates who act respectfully in public, but in private their mouths pour forth repulsive profanity and epithets in your direction. Or extended family members who point out your every flaw, claim they know you but they really don’t, and wield their expectations and gossip like hot pokers to manipulate you into doing what they want.

Responses to Strife

Sometimes Christians think God wants them to become punching bags. And at other times, perhaps in rejection of the punching-bag approach, Christians harden themselves to the point of arrogance and condescension toward their opponents.

But what does it mean to fight like a Christian in situations of strife?

Make no mistake: Enemies are real, and God wants his people not to fall before enemies but to overcome them. And the way we fight is what makes the difference.

What God Deems Honorable

Sometimes we get this crazy idea that protecting one’s honor means not turning aside from a threat or a fight. And to back down from a fight is cowardly.

But such notions are contrary to the Lord’s definition of honor. They are nothing but schoolyard foolishness.

It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling.

Proverbs 20:3

The Lord values and honors the person mature enough to keep aloof from strife. Those who enjoy, initiate, or perpetuate quarrels are fools. They’re after their own self-respect and self-image, and are therefore to be avoided whenever possible. Even if it feels like you are giving up quite a bit, or suffering in the shadow of death, to do so.

The Time and Place to Fight

Now there is a time and place for protecting the innocent and standing up for the rights of the oppressed.

If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small. Rescue those who are being taken away to death; hold back those who are stumbling to the slaughter. If you say, “Behold, we did not know this,” does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who keeps watch over your soul know it, and will he not repay man according to his work?

Proverbs 24:10-12

So the Lord certainly calls his people to fight at the right time and for the right reasons: When the innocent or naive are under threat. When the good and safety of others is at stake.

But not merely to defend one’s own honor.

So it is wise to be aware of those situations when strife is likely to break out, so that, whenever possible, you can avoid them. And when are those times? What are some potential causes of strife we ought to avoid?

Photo by Chris Sabor on Unsplash

Causes of Strife

History of quarreling

First, we should watch out for those with a history of quarreling.

A fool’s lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating.

Proverbs 18:6

If you have seen someone quarreling in the past, they are likely to continue it in the future. If you have a history of getting drawn into quarrels with someone, it may be best to avoid that person. Because the more opportunity you give a fool to talk, the more he will invite you to beat on him. And you’ll be sorely tempted to grant him this wish.

Pride

Second, watch out for pride.

By insolence comes nothing but strife, but with those who take advice is wisdom.

Proverbs 13:10

“Insolence” is the sort of pride that isn’t merely self-centered, but self-centered in a way that rejects instruction, refuses correction, and tries to cancel those who disagree.

‌So when someone has a track record of attacking people who try to help them, you are better off staying away. When you know such a person is likely to pick a fight, just keep your advice and correction to yourself.

‌That’s right. Sometimes you can best avoid strife by keeping your mouth shut, and by not offering instruction that might help someone, when you know they don’t want it.

‌So when your classmates or coworkers have potty mouths, it is probably wise not to correct them, lest they turn to direct their venom at you. It is not wise for Christians to see themselves as the “sin police,” or to take it upon themselves to call people out whenever they do something wrong.

‌No, please save your correction for those who will receive it. Or for those situations when the innocent are being harmed, or the naive could be led astray. You can avoid strife by not offering advice or correction where it is not wanted.

Hot Tempers

Third, watch for hot tempers.

A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.

Proverbs 15:18

Make sure you keep a check on your own temper. Self-control is a fruit of the Holy Spirit, so controlling your own spirit is critical.‌ It is also wise to recognize when others have a hot temper, so you can avoid them whenever possible.

‌The thing about anger is that it always makes us feel right. We think in the moment that getting more heated will persuade others to agree with us. But in truth the only thing a hot temper ever accomplishes is to stir up strife. So avoid it in yourself and others.

Backbiting

Finally, watch out for backbiting.

The north wind brings forth rain, and a backbiting tongue, angry looks.

Proverbs 25:23

This is related to anger and foolish speech, but a backbiting tongue is an insidious companion. This is what happens when temper and folly go passive-aggressive. So perhaps we don’t crank up the volume and start shouting. Instead, we turn down the volume and mutter things under our breath. Or we wait until the conversation is nearly complete, and then we toss out a biting closing statement like a shot of napalm.

‌Perhaps you get to the end of a tense conversation that resulted in a difficult compromise. Those engaged ask one another whether this is now settled, and you respond with, “It’s fine.” And your backbiting tone communicates that the situation is anything but fine. But if anyone follows up and asks what’s wrong, your defense is already locked and loaded: “I said, it’s fine! Gosh, what’s wrong with you people!”

‌And it’s clearly not fine. Perhaps because you weren’t honest enough up front about your full concern. Or perhaps because you have lost hold of your self-control when you needed it most. Either way, just as a north wind in the Middle East brings rain, so now your backbiting tongue brings angry looks which lead to strife.

‌What now?

So in the end, the way of wisdom is to avoid strife whenever possible. Beware of hot tempers, quarrelsome behaviors, insolent attitudes, and backbiting tongues.

‌This really feels like death, doesn’t it, to avoid strife, when the world shouts that we’re cowards unless we defend our own honor? Yet to fight like a Christian means avoiding the fight whenever possible.

‌But sometimes, it’s just not possible, is it? There are times when we make costly mistakes that cause strife. And there are times when strife hunts us down regardless of how hard we try to avoid it. What do we do then?

We’ll need to look at more proverbs for further help.