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You are here: Home / Archives for Questions

6 Characteristics of a Good Small Group Question

February 1, 2021 By Ryan Higginbottom

Emily Morter (2017), public domain

A bad question is one reason for lingering silence in a small group Bible study. So, for small group leaders, it is worth our time to think about what makes a good question.

Learning how to ask good questions is a lifelong pursuit. It pays dividends in almost every setting and every relationship in life. But there are few gatherings in which this skill makes a greater difference than in teaching or leading a small group.

What Makes a Good Question?

I have taught and led small group Bible studies for many years, so I’ve had plenty of occasions to ponder the quality of my questions. The observations below are the fruit of my experience, though I know I have much more to learn. I welcome additional contributions in the comments.

In my experience, good questions in small groups share these six qualities.

A good question is asked in a natural order.

What is true in one-on-one conversations is also true in small groups: Accelerating too quickly makes things awkward. Learning and respecting the natural progression of questions is a concrete way for leaders to love their group members.

Questions should generally move from easy to difficult and from objective to personal. It is also usually advisable to ask questions in the observe-interpret-apply progression that we suggest as a Bible study framework.

A good question is honest.

I’ve written an entire post about honest questions, so I will offer only a quick summary here.

Having studied the Bible passage in depth before the meeting, a leader should have a point of view and a direction in which they want to lead the conversation. However, the best questions are asked in humility, understanding that even the most studied Christians have much to learn from others.

Asking simplistic fill-in-the-blank or guess-what-I’m-thinking questions is often more an activity than an invitation to interaction. These questions rarely supply enough oxygen to sustain a conversation.

A good question is tethered to the text.

There are certainly times to probe our friends’ thoughts, experiences, and feelings. After all, our group members’ backgrounds and perspectives are part of what makes small groups so valuable. But within a small group Bible study, discussion should flow from the Scriptures.

If the purpose of our small group is to study the Bible, we should ask questions about the Bible. Our human tendency is to look away from Scripture, so many of our questions must gently remind our friends to look back at the text.

Application questions are the most personal and individual questions we can ask, but even these should originate in the text. Having talked through observations and interpreted the passage as a group, the author’s main point should drive all application questions.

A good question is understandable.

When we are excited about a Bible passage, it is easy to get carried away when writing questions. We must break our questions down into small, manageable steps.

Good questions should not be too long. They should not introduce fancy concepts or big words. Usually, they should not consist of multiple parts.

A good question is concise and clear. It asks people to consider something specific. If our friends can’t understand what we’re asking, we’ve no chance of a good discussion.

A good question is purposeful.

When putting notes together for a meeting, a leader should have a defined plan. They should have a considered idea about the main point for the passage, and they should put a question plan together to help their group gather the information to arrive at that destination.

This means that some interesting features of the passage may not make it into the discussion. With a limited amount of time, a leader needs to choose their questions carefully.

A good question is prayerfully considered.

As leaders, we should pray about all aspects of our Bible study meetings. This includes our questions and the conversations they spark.

A key ingredient of planning our questions is considering possible responses. If we envision the answers, we can evaluate the quality of our inquiries and anticipate the need to rephrase or follow up in a particular way. And the better we know our small group members, the better we’ll be able to predict how our questions will land on them.

Worth the Effort

A low-quality question is just one of the explanations for silence in a small group. But it may be the most common. (I will write about bad group atmospheres and reluctant group members—the other reasons I gave for unanswered questions—in the coming weeks.) Next week I’ll provide an example of small group questions that have the qualities I’ve listed above.

Planning helpful questions is slow, difficult work and it takes time to get better. But it’s worth it—for the good of our meetings and the growth of our friends.

Filed Under: Leading Tagged With: Leading Bible Study, Questions, Silence, Small Groups

Why a Small Group Question Doesn’t Get an Answer

January 18, 2021 By Ryan Higginbottom

Amy Tran (2018), public domain

Let’s start with an enormous understatement: This school year has been difficult. Both teachers and students have had to deal with incredible challenges.

Since August I have been teaching my classes in a hybrid style—some students are in the classroom and some are joining the class remotely. My main struggle has been participation. Especially for remote students, it is much easier to stay quiet and let others do most of the interacting. Consequently, I’ve been thinking a lot about silence.

Silence in the classroom and silence in Bible studies are not that different. They can both be deflating for the teacher/leader, and they usually come from one of three sources.

Why to Minimize Silence

The main strength of a small group Bible study is the interaction that takes place. But if there’s no dialogue, the meeting falls short of its potential.

Small group silence usually happens when the leader asks a question that gets no response. After a second or two, the leader rephrases the question or gives an answer himself.

Not All Silence Is Bad

We should note that not all silence is bad. Thinking takes time! So, if a leader asks a thought-provoking question, some silence is natural—especially if the group has not considered the question before.

One of the essential skills for all teachers and small group leaders is the ability to sit in silence. Most people hate silence and will do anything to fill it. But that won’t do in a setting that thrives on conversation. A leader who can’t allow silence short-circuits the thinking and learning that can happen in the group.

What’s the difference between good silence and bad silence? That largely depends on the group, but here’s a rule of thumb. When I was first training as a teacher, a mentor advised me to count silently to fifteen after I asked a question.

For those just learning this skill, fifteen seconds is an eternity. But, comfort comes with repetition. And by allowing this silence, the leader emphasizes that they genuinely want to hear from others.

3 Reasons for Silence

If silence in a group routinely stretches beyond fifteen seconds, something might need to change. There are at least three reasons why a small group leader’s question might be met with silence.

A Bad Question

A group might be silent because the question is bad. It is much easier to ask a bad question than a good one! The older I get, the more convinced I am that asking helpful questions is essential to excellent teaching and fruitful leadership. And asking good questions is hard work.

What makes a bad question in a small group Bible study? Here are three possibilities.

  • The question is too personal. If a small group leader shifts too quickly from textual to personal questions, this whiplash may cause people to close up.
  • The question is too obvious. Leaders should avoid asking fill-in-the-blank questions. Group members may feel insulted by questions with trivial answers.
  • The question is too difficult. While a leader has been studying the passage for hours, some group members have just read it for the first time. Asking people to perform high-level analysis without the proper lead-up is sometimes asking too much.

A Bad Atmosphere

So much of what happens in a small group depends on the climate of the group. Start/stop times, topics for small talk, even who prays and for how long—these are among the many aspects of a small group that develop over time and are a part of its atmosphere.

How much a group values discussion is a foundational part of a small group’s culture. And the small group leader has a huge influence.

Simply put, if the Bible study leader doesn’t value or desire input from group members, discussion is much less likely to occur, regardless of how many questions are asked.

A small group’s atmosphere may also be affected by dominant group members, conflicts between people, or other issues that do not arise from the leader. These may make the climate unfriendly to participation.

Reluctant Group Members

The first two reasons for silence were problems to be fixed. The third reason falls in a different category.

Some people are, by nature, less willing to answer questions in a group setting. They may be afraid of giving a wrong answer, they may take longer to think through answers, or they may just not enjoy talking in a group setting.

A person’s physical or mental health can also play a role in their participation. A group member who is ill, tired, grieving, or depressed may be more withdrawn during group meetings. These are natural and understandable reasons for not answering questions.

Encouraging Conversations

Any small group leader who wants their group to bear fruit is frustrated when they ask a question and hear no response. The good news is that there are ways to improve as a leader to minimize these stretches of silence.

In my next post we’ll start to explore how a leader can ask questions that stimulate thought and illuminate the Scripture. We will also learn some tips to create a culture of friendly interaction within the small group. Finally, we will discuss ways to understand, value, and encourage group members who don’t often participate.

Filed Under: Leading Tagged With: Leading Bible Study, Questions, Small Groups

Bible Study Leaders Should Not Have All the Answers

August 5, 2019 By Ryan Higginbottom

Arek Socha (2016), public domain

Picture it. There’s a pause at your small group Bible study, and one of your friends asks a question. In that moment, all the heads in your group will likely turn in one of two directions.

Do the group members look up, at the leader? Or do they look down, at the Bible?

No Bible study leader can have the answer to every question. After all, leaders are finite and there are a myriad of potential questions, both relevant and—ahem—less relevant.

But even though leaders can’t logistically have all the answers, I don’t think that should even be a goal. As an ambition, that’s harmful for at least two reasons.

Bad for the Leader

When a leader plants the seed that they will have all the answers for their group, it bears bad fruit.

It can make the leader fearful of questions that emerge in their group or resentful of those who ask. After all, the leader might think, questioners are causing more work and giving another opportunity for the leader to fail.

This mentality can also lead to a misplaced trust. If a leader is good at anticipating questions and answering them in the moment, they might start to depend on their preparation, intellect, or persuasiveness instead of on the Lord.

Finally, when a group expects their leader to have all the answers, it can lead to pride. A capable leader who rises to this challenge may enjoy the attention they receive as their reputation grows.

Bad for the Group

There is clear spiritual danger for a small group leader when they are expected to answer every question. But this setup is unhealthy for the group as well.

A group structured in this way may start to trust in their leader instead of their Lord. Their confidence and assurance in the faith may rise and fall with the ability and mood of their small group leader. We must avoid this error and anchor our assurance to the rock-solid work of Jesus.

Members of this sort of group may also flounder when faced with studying the Bible on their own. Because they are not challenged to answer questions from Scripture, they may become content with the cotton candy of light, spiritual aphorisms instead of rich, filling meals from God’s Word.

This type of group may also experience stunted growth. Vibrant, healthy small groups often grow and split, as an apprentice from within the group (ideally) emerges. But if a leader is expected to have all the answers, this puts unreasonable weight on potential apprentices. That expectation also eliminates opportunities for group members to learn and grow into that role.

Guard Against Gurus

To train, lead, and empower small group members, leaders should guard against the urge to be a know-it-all or Bible guru.

There is one easy step to ensure a small group is focused on the Bible and not on its leader. This short response to any question will point people in the right direction.

“Good question. What does the text say?”

This is the simplest way I’ve found to point my friends back to the Bible. When I hear a question, I turn either to the questioner or to the whole group and invite them to look back at the text.

Sometimes the text at hand doesn’t answer the question, but other passages do. (A leader needs to decide whether or not that answer is worth chasing down.) Sometimes the question isn’t addressed in Scripture at all. But as much as possible, I want to point my group members away from my answers and into God’s Word.

The Danger of Being a Pastor

Within small groups, there’s a particular danger in being a pastor or anyone else with a seminary degree. I’ve seen how people defer to these leaders. They are often expected to give answers even when they’re not the leader of the group.

To them I offer the same advice I’m giving to small group leaders (as well as my sympathies). You shouldn’t have all the answers. As much as possible, resist being the crutch for your friends. They won’t learn to ride their bike until you let go and urge them to pedal.

Citing Other Resources

Finally, we should note that in the face of legitimate, difficult questions, it’s okay for small group leaders to admit they don’t know the answer. It’s also okay for leaders to a refer to resources that have helped them understand the Bible.

But even the best commentaries should not be appealed to as authorities themselves; commentaries should make the case for their interpretation from the text. And if a leader is not persuaded from the text by a commentary, “I don’t know” may be the best and most honest answer to give.

Thanks for visiting Knowable Word! If you like this article, you might be interested in receiving regular updates from us. You can sign up for our email list (enter your address in the box on the upper right of this page), follow us on Facebook or Twitter, or subscribe to our RSS feed. 

Filed Under: Leading Tagged With: Answers, Leading Bible Study, Questions, Small Groups

Behind the Scenes: My Bible Study Tools and Process

July 22, 2019 By Ryan Higginbottom

Xi Wang (2019), public domain

Studying the Bible is hard, holy work.

The tools we use for this work are not holy, but neither are they incidental. As we grow and mature we find different Bibles, different processes, and different translations that offer just the help we need at that time.

At the risk of navel gazing, my goal in this post is to let you into my Bible study workshop. I’ll describe the tools and process I use to prepare a small group Bible study.

This is one workshop among many. (My co-blogger Peter has written about this too.) My example is not meant for blind imitation, but I hope some readers may find some inspiration here. I should also note that my personal preferences are in flux. I have adopted some of my work flow within the past four months.

Tools

I use six main tools when studying the Bible and preparing for my small group.

  1. An audio Bible. In my early exposure to the passage I’m studying, I like to listen to the Bible. A lot.

  2. A markup Bible. My current markup Bible is a template of my own design. I copy the text from Bible Gateway into a Word document with fat margins (three inches on each side and two inches on the bottom). This gives me plenty of room for notes, arrows, and symbols.

  3. Colored pencils. I use cheap colored pencils to mark up the Bible text. Color coordination helps me locate repetition and connections.

  4. A Bible commentary. This one’s fairly self-explanatory.

  5. A journal and pen. I need to write in order to understand a Bible passage. I grab a nearby notebook or journal.

  6. Multiple Bible translations. I read the passage in multiple translations at Bible Gateway before my small group meets. (I make a point to consult the translations that my small group members prefer.)

My Process

With my tools in hand, these are the eight steps I take to prepare a small group Bible study lesson.

  1. Before I do anything, I pray. I am weak and full of sin, and I am approaching God’s holy word. I need his help!

  2. My first step is to print out my markup Bible. Simple enough.

  3. Next, I listen to and read the Bible passage a bunch. My goal is to discover and understand the structure of the passage. (I recently wrote about how helpful it was to read a passage 25 times.) I listen to or read the Bible passage at least ten times before I make a single mark on the page.

  4. Now it’s time for Bible study. Using the markup Bible, colored pencils, and a pen, I dive into the Observe-Interpret-Apply (OIA) Bible study method. I make a ton of observations on the paper, and these lead me to interpretive questions, which I also write next to the text. I use the right-hand margin of the paper for these notes.

  5. At this point I try to answer the interpretive questions from the text. I outline the passage according to the central ideas of each paragraph and land on an overall main point. I force myself to make notes about the passage before reading any commentaries. I also write down the primary questions I’d like to learn from the commentary.

  6. Next, I read the commentary. If I found the passage confusing, I’ll spend a lot of time interacting with the commentary. If it was an easier passage, I might skim the commentary or skip it altogether. I write notes from the commentary in the left-hand margin of my markup Bible.

  7. It’s time for more writing. I try to identify the main point of each section of the passage and then the overall main point. (This will use my work from step 5 as well as what I learned in step 6.) I list how my interpretation of the passage connects to Jesus and I think through application. Finally, I write a launching question for my small group.

  8. The last step is to create my leader’s notes for the small group meeting. This is a list of questions to help my friends discover the main point of the passage and discuss application. This is also when I read the passage in different translations, although I may do this earlier if the passage is especially thorny.

One Model Among Many

What I’ve outlined above is just one model among many. Some of it may work for you and some may not. And if what you’re doing already is working for you, you shouldn’t feel any need to change.

Don’t focus on the tools. Get and use the tools that will help you focus on the Bible.

Filed Under: Method Tagged With: Bible Listening, Bible Study, Commentaries, Markup Bible, OIA, Questions, Translation

Questions to Avoid in Small Group Discussions

September 20, 2017 By Peter Krol

Melissa Kruger has some helpful thoughts on the types of questions that tend to stifle conversation in small group settings:

  1. Questions with an obvious answer
  2. Questions with a one-word answer
  3. Questions only researchers could answer
  4. Application questions that get too personal too quickly

My co-blogger Ryan has written helpful posts on how to ask good observation, interpretation, and application questions—right along these lines Kruger hopes to avoid.

Kruger has some helpful explanation. Check it out!

HT: Jake Swink

Filed Under: Check it Out Tagged With: Melissa Kruger, Questions, Small Groups

A Crucial Question to Help You Find the Main Point of a Bible Passage

March 3, 2017 By Peter Krol

This is a guest post by Brian Stenson and Lincoln Fitch, who serve with DiscipleMakers in eastern Pennsylvania. They share a love for good coffee, good books, and good Bible study.  Listen to their talk on Bible study from the DiscipleMakers Fall Conference here.

Why the Main Point Matters

Can you imagine pouring yourself into your study of a passage, only to discover you were missing the main idea?

I (Lincoln) had that experience a few months ago. After reviewing my notes for an upcoming sermon, my ministry supervisor asks me straight out: “What would you say is the main point of the passage?” And upon hearing my answer, he holds nothing back. “I don’t think that is the main point of the passage.” Though it is hard to hear this, I know he is right. I can’t even justify my proposed main point to myself. And now I feel like a total failure. Will I ever be able to understand or teach the Bible accurately?

While finding a text’s main point is not easy, it is crucial. Consider what happens if we teach the Scripture without grasping the main ideas. At the very least, the message (even if it has some real truth) doesn’t arise clearly from the page to stick in your listener’s hearts. At the worst, you could be working at cross-purposes with what God actually wants to communicate through the passage. But finding the main point empowers you to access the boundless power of God’s transformative word. Whether you lead Bible studies, teach and preach, or study the Bible on your own, finding the main point of a passage is foundational to understanding and communicating who God is.

A Crucial Question

If you’re familiar with OIA Bible study, you’ve probably experienced the challenge of finding the main point. After observing, you ask questions, especially “why” questions. You consider the context. You try to figure out the author’s intentions. But often, you feel stumped.

We find one particular question to be crucial when it’s time to identify the passage’s main point:

Why did the author write the passage this way?

ed_needs_a_bicycle (2012), Creative Commons

It’s not a flashy or revolutionary question, but it usually gets the job done. And it does so by causing us to examine a few more specific questions.

  • What gives the passage its shape?
  • What does the author emphasize?
  • How did the author get from beginning to end?
  • How does the structure of the larger section, and the book as a whole, help us see what the author is trying to get across in this passage?

For example, notice how the shape of John 6:60-71 reveals much about the author’s main point:

  • This relatively short passage concludes a long discourse between the Jews and Jesus. These final verses show the responses to Jesus’ teaching.
  • The passage begins with many disciples following Jesus but ends with few. John 6:66 says, “After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him.” This statement serves as a turning point in the narrative.
  • This turning point raises the following questions: 1) “Why did so many people turn away?” and 2) “What was the difference between those who turned away and those who continued to follow Jesus?”
  • The disciples who turned away gave a reason: “This is a hard saying; who can listen to it?” (John 6:60). Jesus also knew they were grumbling and asked if they took offense at his words (John 6:61).
  • After many turned away, Jesus turns to the Twelve and asks if they want to go away as well (John 6:66). Peter explains their reason for staying: “You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God” (John 6:69-70).

Do you see how both groups of disciples comment on Jesus’ words? The first group turns away because they are challenged and offended by Jesus’ words. The second group keeps following because they hear Jesus’ words and receive them, knowing them to be the words of eternal life. This text reveals a lot about people by their response to Jesus’ words, and by the inherent contrast in the structure.

Here’s where we think John is going: People’s responses to Jesus’ words demonstrate whether they’ll follow him or fall away. There is our main point.

You could state the main point in many ways, but the passage clearly highlights both Jesus’ words and what we do with them. May the Lord help us to hear and love the words of eternal life found in the Scriptures!

Conclusion

Do you see why structure matters? The passage has a significant change (the number of people following Jesus) from beginning to end, which shows us the author’s intentions: to demonstrate the impact of our response to Jesus’ words. This insight arises from examining why the author wrote the passage this way.

Finding the main point of a passage is not easy, but it’s worth it. The main point is your front-row ticket to the revealed glory of God, and it will equip you to think and speak with clarity and power when you teach the word.

Filed Under: Method Tagged With: Bible Study, John, Main Point, Questions

Ask Better Questions in Small Group Bible Study

September 28, 2016 By Peter Krol

This week, the Logos Talk blog published a guest post Ryan and I worked on together, called “How to Ask Excellent Bible Study Discussion Questions.” The post abridges some of the lengthier material from our series on how to lead a Bible study. If you’d like to lead a small group discussion well, we recommend you master these four kinds of questions:

  1. Launching questions
  2. Observation questions
  3. Interpretation questions
  4. Application questions

Check it out!

Filed Under: Check it Out Tagged With: Launching Question, Leadership, Logos Bible Software, Questions, Small Groups

Teach Bible Study During Family Devotions

November 30, 2015 By Ryan Higginbottom

skeeze (2014), public domain

skeeze (2014), public domain

My daughters have gone dance crazy this fall. Everywhere I look, I see pointed toes, pliés, and skipping, twirling children.

My girls will join their dance studio’s production of The Nutcracker in a few weeks. You can imagine the preparation this requires—buying costumes, reserving a venue, and cramming gobs of detailed instructions inside little heads. What an undertaking!

Train Them Up

Just as my daughters need months of ballet lessons before they hit the stage, they also need training in the skills and habits of Christians. Following Jesus is the central calling of their lives, and I cannot send them off unprepared.

It is vital that we provide our children with a solid approach to Bible study. At this blog, we advocate the OIA method. While the terminology isn’t sacred, we think the skills of observation, interpretation, and application show up in all faithful descriptions of Bible study.

So how do we pass along these crucial skills to our children?

Gather as a Family

We have opportunities throughout each day to equip our kids to study the Bible. Chief among these chances are meals and times of family worship. It’s a privilege to engage all of your children at once about the most important things in the world!

But most parents know that family devotions can feel more like a chore than a privilege. The adults are exhausted, the baby is crying, and the older children are feeding spaghetti to the dog. It is difficult to steer a ship this large (especially with a mutinous crew).

Let me encourage you to stick with it. Family devotions can be a source of deep joy and they can prepare your children for a life of loving and obeying God. Family devotions are worth the effort.

Realistic Expectations

If you’re feeling guilt about family devotions, you may need to adjust your expectations. We must be both faithful and realistic. If we set the bar too high, we will frustrate everyone.

First, consider your weekly schedule. For most families, our weeks bear more resemblance to each other than do our days. Survey a typical week for your family and seize a pocket of time on each lightly-scheduled day for family worship. Don’t beat yourself up when you miss a few days.

Next, consider the content. I’ll advocate for the Bible below, but ponder what else you might do. Involve your children as much as possible and make it fun. Let them choose praise songs or hymns. Ask them about the best parts of recent days and join in a rousing prayer of thanksgiving. The elements of worship can vary. If you make family worship memorable and fun, your children will anticipate and remind you about it!

Study the Bible

Given my push for realistic expectations, it might seem strange to suggest Bible study. Doesn’t Bible study require long, private periods of concentration?

No! Since the Bible is for everyone, so is Bible study. Training children to study the Bible is as simple as asking three questions: What? Why? So what?

What? Children should observe the Bible. You may want your older children to help out with the Bible reading, but anyone can listen and observe! Ask your children to pick out the main characters, the actions, the commands, and so on. The younger your children, the more time you’ll probably spend on the “what” question.

Why? As children get older, they should move into interpretation. Follow their observations with “why” questions. Why did Jesus heal that blind man? Why did Joseph’s brothers sell him? Why does Paul say we should always pray? Ask questions like this to move your children toward the main point of the passage.

So what? With this question we enter the land of application. What difference does all of this make? Children usually need the most help with this question, but you might be surprised how eagerly they suggest applications once you get them started.

Final Remarks

Let me leave you with a few recommendations as you consider how family devotions might work in your home.

  • Don’t neglect the Bible. Story Bibles can be a blessing for young children, so feel free to incorporate them. (My youngest really loves the pictures.) But don’t let them replace God’s word. Your children can handle more than you think.
  • Involve the whole family. Ask questions of all the children—and all the adults! Children should see the adults in their lives modeling good Bible study habits.
  • Revisit Bible passages. If your family devotions bog down, return to the same passage the next time. You might also consider studying the same passage with the family that you (or your children) are reading in personal devotions.

We have several articles on teaching Bible study to age-specific children, along with devotional guides for readers and non-readers, at our children’s Bible study page.

Filed Under: Children Tagged With: Bible Study, Children, Family Devotions, Questions

How to Apply the Bible in Community

March 23, 2015 By Ryan Higginbottom

Perhaps you nodded at the suggestion that Christians should apply the Bible in community. Agreement might fire the engines, but it doesn’t get you off the runway. How can our friendships grow so that Bible application is natural? How can we get this plane in the air?

Cliff Muller (2009), Creative Commons License

When talking about community, many Christians focus on accountability. But Christian friendship doesn’t start (or stop) there. Let me offer four resolutions toward developing helpful, God-glorifying relationships.

Resolve to Spend Time with People

To apply the Bible in community, you must be in community. This goes beyond becoming a member of a good church. You need to know other Christians and you need to be known by others. When Paul writes about the church using the metaphor of a human body (1 Cor 12:12–27), he emphasizes how the parts of the body need each another (1 Cor 12:21–22).

This need is more than a physical or social dependence. We are to bear each other’s burdens (Gal 6:2), forgive one another (Col 3:13), confess our sins to one another (James 5:16), love one another (Rom 12:10), and speak truth to one another (Eph 4:25).

These commands point us well beyond handshakes and saccharine smiles on Sunday mornings. We need to pursue deep, honest friendships with other Christians. Relationships with other sinners—though messy—are worth pursuing because God commands them and they are designed for our benefit.

Resolve to Ask Questions

My treasured friends, the ones who have had the greatest spiritual impact on me, are the ones who excel at asking questions. When they see me caught in a sinful pattern or spiraling downward in my thoughts, they adopt a holy refusal to leave me alone. They ask me questions to help me think through my behaviors, thoughts, and relationships in the light of the gospel. Such questions are uncomfortable, but they help uncover my sin and point me toward Jesus. Don’t you want to be this type of friend? I sure do!

The good news is that we can all become friends like this. Start with a tiny question: why? Why was that disappointing? Why did you enjoy that? Why did you respond to her that way? It seems like you’ve been withdrawing recently; why is that?

Answering why questions can reveal your true hopes, fears, joy, and motivation. Even if you are not a verbal processor, you may get powerful clarity by speaking some thought you’ve been storing in your head. Friends can expose wrong thinking, a bent character, and errant behavior by asking these simple questions.

Why questions are not the only questions to ask, of course. As your relationship grows and you see the your friends’ struggles and tendencies, you’ll learn additional questions. You will notice the parts of their lives they don’t like to discuss. You will see how they respond to disappointment and criticism. Soaked in the gospel, your questions may be just the signpost toward hope that your friends need.

Resolve to Talk About God

I’ve seen too many Christians leave faith as an assumed-but-not-discussed topic between them. We can do better.

As you grow closer to other believers, you should care deeply about their walk with God. Their Christian discipleship is one of the most important qualities about them. So ask!

Here are some helpful questions to ask your friends: What has God been teaching you lately? How have you seen God work in your life over the past month? What are you reading in the Bible? What are you learning? What fruit of the Spirit have you seen God growing in you? How are you different from the person you were a year ago? These questions are like salt in your relationships. Don’t empty the whole shaker at once! But if you sprinkle them into your conversations, your friendships will have a richer flavor.

Though conversations like these might not feel natural at first, press through the awkwardness. You might even take the opportunity to discuss what sort of friends you want to be.

Putting it Together

So talk about the Bible with your friends. Tell them what God has been teaching you and how you’ve been trying to apply it. Ask them the same.

And talk with your friends about your sin and areas of frequent discouragement. Tell them the ways you are struggling to trust God. Ask them the same.

Soon you will find that these discussions overlap. You’ll talk with someone about a passage of the Bible, and later in the month that same person will notice an area of your life that is begging for application of the same text. Applying the Bible in community isn’t one extra step to put at the end of your small group Bible study. It will happen naturally as you develop close, Christian friendships.

Resolve to Pray

Since our sin nature is opposed to these ideas of exposure, humility, and vulnerability, we need to pray! We must ask for God’s provision of good friends and for his help to be a good friend. By his Spirit, he needs to change us into people who embrace the faithful wounds of those who love us (Prov 27:6).

Filed Under: Method Tagged With: Application, Bible, Community, Friendship, Questions

Did Jesus Offend the Canaanite Woman?

January 14, 2015 By Peter Krol

In Matthew 15:21-28, Jesus responds to a needy woman in a manner most of us would consider offensive. He ignores her. He calls her a dog. He denies her request for healing.

How are we to understand Jesus’ words?

At the Gospel Coalition, Jimmy Agan has an excellent article addressing this question and more. Agan models good observation of the text, tracing the flow of thought from one episode to the next, considering the context, and answering interpretive questions from the text.

Check it out!

Filed Under: Check it Out Tagged With: Canaanite Woman, Interpretation, Jimmy Agan, Matthew, Questions, The Gospel Coalition

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