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Disappointment and Guidance

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Have you been counseled to pray before making a decision? In praying, do you expect God to give you clear direction on what to do? Friends, there’s something good here, but don’t fall into the trap of loving the wrong thing. If you pray about decisions and ask God for wisdom, he’ll give you something you might not have expected.

Again, my comments will follow the pattern I explained in a previous post.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
And he will make straight your paths (Prov 3:5-6).

Command: Trust God, not yourself.

Consequence: Straight paths.

Our meager expectation: Fervent prayers give clear direction from God for any decision.

God’s unbelievable reward: himself. Those who seek God will find him. “Trust in the Lord” and “do not lean on your own understanding” could be summarized as “fear the Lord,” which is the first step on the path of wisdom (Prov 1:7). The path of wisdom leads to God himself (Prov 2:5-8). So when God promises to “make straight your paths,” he offers to remove any obstacles that keep you from him. He’ll make himself available. He’ll loosen your yoke and lighten your burden. He will be your God.

Echoes: To give a picture of this straight path, God spoke to the fathers by the prophets at many times and in many ways (Gen 15:1, 37:5, Ex 3:2, Jdg 20:18, 23, etc.). But the essence of the reward is not about communication from God. If you expect God to speak clearly every time you ask for help, you will be disappointed.

"Anvil and Hammer" by fauxto_digit (2008), shared under a Creative Commons Attribution license

“Anvil and Hammer” by fauxto_digit (2008), shared under a Creative Commons Attribution license

Essence: Jesus cried out to God and was forsaken (Matt 27:46) so we who seek would find him (Matt 7:7-11). Sometimes God doesn’t give what we ask (2 Cor 12:7-8) so we might learn to ask for more of him instead (2 Cor 12:9-10). When we ask God to draw us closer to him, he will never say “No” (Jas 4:8). Raymond Ortlund describes this process: “Wisdom is the gospel of Christ reshaping us for royalty, as God places us on his anvil and we trust him enough to stay there until his work is done.”[1]

How might Jesus’ abandonment help you refashion your disappointment when your future remains unclear or your life goes in an unexpected direction?

This post was first published in 2013 and is part of a series walking through Proverbs 1-9.

[1] Proverbs: Wisdom that Works (Wheaton, Ill: Crossway, 2012), Kindle location 272-73.

Disappointment and Relationships

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"Close Friends" by makelessnoise (2006), shared under a Creative Commons Attribution license
“Close Friends” by makelessnoise (2006), shared under a Creative Commons Attribution license

Do you ever operate under the expectation that, if you try hard to love and serve people, they will like you in return? God has something better in mind for you!

My comments on this text will follow the pattern I laid out previously.

Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you;
Bind them around your neck;
Write them on the tablet of your heart.
So you will find favor and good success
In the sight of God and man (Prov 3:3-4).

Command: Exude love and faithfulness.

Consequence: Favor with God and men.

Our meager expectation: Nice people will be well liked and respected.

God’s unbelievable reward: influence. Those with godly influence persuade others of God’s love and faithfulness (Prov 16:7, 21). God favors such humble people (Prov 3:34), who serve others more than themselves. Communities benefit from such people (Prov 11:10).

Echoes: To give a picture of this good favor, God often grants public recognition to the faithful (1 Sam 24:17-21). But the essence of the reward is not about recognition. If you expect every loving act to result in broad agreement and wild acclaim, you will be disappointed. For example, David’s acclaim in 1 Sam 24:17-21 took place at a pretty low point in his life.

Essence: Jesus “came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God” (John 1:11-12). Those children will be hated in this world as much as their master Jesus was. But in persuading some to follow Christ, they receive hope, joy, and a glorious crown of boasting when Jesus returns (1 Th 2:19-20). In other words, they may be disappointed when people don’t like them, but God uses the disappointment to teach them whose favor really matters.

How does Jesus’ rejection help you refashion your disappointment in relationships?

This post was first published in 2013 and is part of a series walking through Proverbs 1-9.

Learn from Why You Stopped Reading the Bible

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Last week, I shared an article that encourages you to just keep reading your Bible, even when you don’t understand all the details. Perhaps that was not helpful, as you have long since given up your Bible reading anyway.

Katie Laitkep is here with strong guidance to help you pick it back up.

If you were sitting across from me and you mentioned that you’d abandoned your Bible reading plan, I wouldn’t ask you about what went well. We’d talk about what didn’t work. We’d start with what made you stop because understanding why you didn’t finish could be the key to helping you begin again.

She goes on to consider a few reasons why people stop reading the Bible, in order to coach you through overcoming those obstacles and getting back to it. Her counsel is really great.

Check it out!

Disappointment and Longevity

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We get disappointed when our expectations are not met. We commonly expect that, if we honor God, we will live long and prosper, but God desires something better for us.

Live Long and Prosper

My comments will follow the pattern I laid out last week.

My son, do not forget my teaching,
But let your heart keep my commandments,
For length of days and years of life
And peace they will add to you (Prov 3:1-2).

Command: Obey God’s commands.

Consequence: Long life and peace.

Our meager expectation: People who serve God won’t die young.

God’s unbelievable reward: an unbreakable relationship with God. In Proverbs, “life” often refers to more than simply having a heartbeat (Prov 3:21-22, 4:13, 8:35, etc.). Waltke comments that the meaning of “life” in Proverbs is “commonly misrepresented and/or misunderstood” as temporal life that ends with clinical death.1 As Kidner states, “In several places it is not too much to say that ‘life’ means fellowship with God.”2

Echoes: To give a picture of his everlasting relationship with us, God often lets the righteous live to a good old age (Gen 25:8) and cuts short the lives of the wicked (Gen 38:7). But the essence of the reward is not about old age. If you expect every servant of God to live to old age, you will be disappointed.

Essence: God sent his Son Jesus to die on a cross so he might give us life. Eternal life means knowing him (John 17:3). When we seek life anywhere else, God graciously steps in and disappoints us. He leads us back to what’s best for us: loving Jesus and keeping his commandments (1 John 3:16, 23-24).

How might Jesus’ untimely death help you refashion your disappointment when someone’s life is cut short?

This post was first published in 2013 and is part of a series walking through Proverbs 1-9.

1 Proverbs 1-15, p. 104.

2 Proverbs, p. 53.

Just Keep Reading

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Erik Lundeen has some surprising advice for those who come to something in their Bible they don’t understand: Just keep reading.

If you’re like many attempting to read through the Bible this year, you’re at a crossroads. You may falter, burning out (as the story often goes) in a difficult section of Scripture like Leviticus and failing to establish a Bible-reading habit. Or you may make it over that initial hump, and regular Bible reading moves from being a checked box to a customary part of life.

I want to help you have the latter experience. I want to offer advice based on years of reading the Bible cover to cover and processing such experiences with others who’ve attempted the same. My advice boils down to this: As you read, keep going and don’t worry too much about understanding. That will come.

Check it out!

How to Refashion our Disappointment

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Last week, we considered how we must see God’s fatherly love when we face disappointment. Now we’re ready to go back and explore the many realms where we so often feel disappointed.

"Cape Disappointment is Disappointing" by iotae (2006), shared under a Creative Commons Attribution License
iotae (2006), shared under a Creative Commons Attribution License

Proverbs 3:1-10 consists of five pairs of verses (each with a command and a consequence) that address five specific areas of life. Each pair contrasts our meager expectations with God’s unbelievable rewards. We may find echoes of these rewards in our day-to-day lives, but if we mistake the echoes for the essence, we’ll miss the point and end up disappointed. The essence is found in God’s rescue mission accomplished through Jesus. And when he rescues us, he also lovingly disciplines us to desire what he desires for us.

Over the next few weeks, we’ll explore our struggles with disappointment about the following life issues:

  1. Longevity
  2. Relationships
  3. Guidance
  4. Health
  5. Finances

I’ll connect Solomon’s sayings to the rest of the Bible and to our lives using the following categories (I’ll link back to here from each of the next few posts to remind you of the details):

  • “Command” observes the command.
  • “Consequence” observes the consequence.
  • “Our meager expectation” states a common misinterpretation of these verses.
  • “God’s unbelievable reward” uses other Proverbs to illuminate what Solomon (and thus God) meant.
  • “Echoes” uses examples from Solomon’s Bible (books or stories that were available to him) to show how God taught and foreshadowed this reward through real-life object lessons. If we confuse these echoes with the essence, we will expect the wrong thing and end up disappointed.
  • “Essence” describes how Jesus was denied the promise so we might be granted it. Then it explains how God trains us to love what he loves.

Stay tuned!

This post was first published in 2013 and is part of a series walking through Proverbs 1-9.

Yes, Context Matters

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Stephen Kneale agrees with us that context matters.

Whenever we read the bible it is important for us to put any passage into context. We must put it into its canonical context – making sure we are clear where this passage fits within the wider book and where that book sits within the scriptures as a whole. We have to put the passage into its literary context – making sure we put the sentences in the context of the paragraphs which sit in the context of sections that are part of larger books. We have to think also about the historical context – what was going on at the time of writing that has impacted what this writer is saying and why…

If that is right, we want to hear God on his own terms. Which is why we very much don’t want to take him out of context. To do that is to twist his words. It is to miss his words. It is to misunderstand him. It is to misunderstand what the creator of the universe has determined is needful for us to know

Kneale discusses the person who comes to the Bible with a particular question, finds a verse that sounds about right, and then makes use of that verse to speak to the issue in question without considering whether the author intended to speak to that issue. These are wise reflections.

Check it out!

God Displays His Love through Disappointment

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We now arrive at Proverbs 3:1-12, but we must begin our study with the end of the section.

My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline
Or be weary of his reproof,
For the Lord reproves him whom he loves,
As a father the son in whom he delights (Prov 3:11-12)

To understand how God uses our disappointment to draw us closer to him through Christ, we must see four things.

"Discipline" by Grotuk (2010), shared under a Creative Commons Attribution license
“Discipline” by Grotuk (2010), shared under a Creative Commons Attribution license

1. The Lord will discipline and reprove those he loves. Prov 3:12 is clear: “the Lord reproves him whom he loves.” What we consider to be disappointing circumstances, God considers to be disciplining love. God’s discipline is not optional. It is selective in that it applies only to those he loves, but it is comprehensive in that it applies to all those he loves. In a previous post, we saw that God judges people by giving them what they want rather than what he wants. Now we see the flip side: that God blesses people by giving them what he wants rather than what they want. God will not give you what you want; he will give you what you need. This is disappointing, but it will train you to expect what God expects, to desire what God desires. It will be a long road, but his discipline will draw you closer to him.

2. You will be tempted to despise the Lord’s discipline and grow weary of it. Nobody likes to feel disappointed. That’s why he commands you not to despise it or grow weary of it (Prov 3:11). When God’s discipline comes, it will not make you feel good. It won’t put the joy, joy, joy, joy down in your heart. You won’t brag about how much God is blessing you. No discipline is immediately pleasant. When your bank account is empty or people don’t like you or your love life isn’t all you’d hoped it would be, you’re not going to feel great about it. But when it drives you away from yourself and back to the Lord, it will yield the peaceful fruit of righteousness (Heb 12:11). Turning to the Lord helps you not to despise his loving, protective, concerned discipline.

3. You must choose not to despise the Lord’s discipline. Fight the temptation to despair over your situation. Be prepared for the Lord’s discipline to come again and again and again and again until you’re made perfect in heaven with Jesus. Don’t get worn down by it. Don’t loiter in your self-pity. Don’t cave to disappointment by spiraling in & down or out & around. Make a different choice: the choice to reinterpret your disappointing circumstances.

4. You must reinterpret your disappointing circumstances by revisiting your view of God. Unmet expectations are evidence of God’s delighted love for you. God is neither hostile nor disinterested; he is your loving father. Acknowledge that God is better than you are at knowing what’s best for you. Thank him for proving his love by giving you what you need instead of what you want. Let your disappointment draw you closer to him. If you trust in Jesus, God is not out to get you. He is your doting father, and you are his precious beloved child. God hasn’t met your expectations because he has something better in mind.

In short: When life doesn’t go the way YOU want it to go, it’s because God loves you more than you can imagine. Don’t ever let your circumstances affect what you know to be true about the Lord. As my friend Brian is fond of saying, “Remember that God loves you, and Jesus is the proof.”

A loving father might take his child to Disney World, but he wouldn’t ever leave him there. It wouldn’t be good for the child’s well-being, and the child wouldn’t even enjoy the experience. The money would run out long before the happiness did, and what then? But what child is aware of what’s truly good for him when he’s pleading for another day at the park? His contentment might return only when he adopts his loving father’s mature perspective on the matter.

This post was first published in 2013 and is part of a series walking through Proverbs 1-9.

Why Four Gospels?

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Ben Hicks asks why we have four accounts of Jesus’ life. Why we need four accounts of Jesus’ life. Since they present Jesus in different ways, does that mean they’re all contradicting each other?

Of course not! With a simple, everyday story, Hicks shows how different accounts of the same person can live in harmony with one another.

Imagine you find yourself at a funeral. The funeral is for a man you never met, but was the father of a close friend so you go to show your support. At one point in the afternoon, you find yourself standing in a circle with three adult grandchildren, all reminiscing about grandpa.

Would you be shocked if they each remember different aspects of their grandfather’s strengths an personality?

Check it out!