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How to Give Effective After-the-Fact Feedback to a Trainee

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I’ve written about how to coach a Bible study apprentice before and during a small group Bible study meeting. Once the meeting is over and you meet to debrief, what should you cover?

The Dangers

First, don’t be afraid to speak truth. You are coaching this apprentice, after all. Of course you should share evidences of God’s grace and highlight what went well. But don’t avoid sharing what could improve for the future.

Second, avoid the urge to criticize everything that went wrong, even if you’ve got an exceptionally teachable apprentice who asks you to speak frankly. Don’t do this to your apprentice because God doesn’t do it to you. Imagine how you’d feel if God revealed every weakness, sin, and failure of yours at one time. Even if you just sang, “Take my life and let it be consecrated, Lord, to thee,” the Lord is merciful and compassionate. He instructs us piecemeal over the course of a lifetime. Take the same approach with your apprentice.

Third, avoid the tendency to nitpick. Keep in mind that there are some things your apprentice can never go back and fix. Once they’re done, they’re done; you can help the apprentice to move on by not highlighting all the things that should have been different. Just focus on the things that will help this person to improve.

Gabriela Grosseck (2010), Creative Commons

Gabriela Grosseck (2010), Creative Commons

My Approach

  1. Highlight many things that went well.
  2. Mention one or two patterns for improvement.
  3. End with more positives, focusing on the good results God brought about.

I’ve read some who ridicule this “criticism sandwich” approach (positive-negative-positive) because it can certainly be done in a trite and patronizing way. But when it comes out of love and has real substance to it, this approach helps leaders build influence. Would you prefer for your apprentice to come to your meetings dreading the laundry list of failures to be aired once again, and expecting to be labelled as weak if offense is taken? Or would you prefer for the apprentice to come with delight and eagerness, knowing that much profit and encouragement will come from the feedback offered?

Let me explain the process a bit further:

  • Be as specific as possible with the encouragement. Don’t settle for “it went well.” Be ready to show the apprentice what went well. For example, “The way you transitioned us from mingling to the beginning of the study was really clear. Everyone knew what to expect.” Or, “I know that Sam can be overly talkative. When he went off on his uncle’s latest surgery, you did a great job hearing him with compassion while also drawing his attention back to the topic at hand.”
  • Notice that point #2 is about mentioning patterns for improvement. If a single mistake was made, let it go. Perhaps the apprentice already noticed it and will self-correct. But if a pattern of the same mistake kept occurring, talk about it. And pick just one or two of these patterns to reflect and ask the apprentice to work on the next time.
  • Make sure you end by making much of God, not the apprentice. In part 3 of the feedback, focus on the tangible results you saw from the apprentice’s leadership of the meeting. For example, “When you asked your final application question, Robert really perked up. I think the Lord was working in him, and he used your question to get Robert’s attention!”

Not My Approach

I can’t take credit for this threefold approach to offering after-the-fact feedback. I learned it from others, and we can see it in the Scripture. For example, look at John’s approach to offering feedback in his third letter. John wrote a prior letter to a congregation of Christians (2 John), but this letter was ill received by some. John has some feedback for one of the leaders to help him address these issues for the good of the church.

  • 3 John 1-8: John gets very specific about what has gone well. Fellow believers have testified to Gaius’s firmness in the truth (3 John 3). Gaius stands firm also in love (3 John 5), shown by his welcoming of missionaries and sending them out refreshed (3 John 6-8).
  • 3 John 9-10: John highlights a persistent pattern that must be addressed. Diotrephes, presumably another leader in the church, promotes himself, disregards John’s apostolic authority, and speaks slanderous nonsense. He doesn’t welcome missionaries, and he coerces others to shun those who do. Something must be done. John will deal with it when he comes, but perhaps his letter seeks to embolden Gaius to steadfastly oppose this wrongdoing in the meantime.
  • 3 John 11-15: John closes with evidences of God’s grace within the church. Another man named Demetrius has a strong reputation for goodness and truth. John affirms this reputation, possibly suggesting Demetrius as a replacement for Diotrephes on the elder board. Regardless, an in-person meeting will take place between John and Gaius, and many greetings are sent Gaius’s way. Though the problems may not be ignored, Gaius has much to be encouraged about.

Developing Laborers

In training Bible study apprentices, we strive to raise more laborers for the harvest. We aim to encourage and strengthen them in their labor. And we want to keep them aware of one or two things they can practice for improvement. Such clarity in our training will root them in the gospel, motivate them to lay down their lives, and enable them to overcome adversity. And with such personal training, the Kingdom of God advances in the earth.

How to Coach a New Bible Study Leader During the Meeting

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I’ve encouraged you to be a coach, not a lifeguard, when your apprentice begins leading Bible studies. Last week, I explained how to do this when helping the apprentice prepare for the meeting. But what does it look like to do this at the meeting itself?

John C. Baker (2013), Creative Commons

John C. Baker (2013), Creative Commons

A lifeguard looks for failure; a coach encourages success.

A lifeguard is vigilant, on edge; a coach inspires.

A lifeguard demands attention; a coach demands excellence.

A lifeguard rescues; a coach stays on the sidelines.

What does this mean for you, the coach, during the Bible study?

1. Follow the Leader

Let the apprentice decide when to make transitions (for example, from mingling to beginning the discussion). If the apprentice looks to you to signal a transition, just sit there patiently looking back. Respond quickly to the apprentice’s leadership; don’t drag your feet if you would have done it differently.

2. Plug Some Gaps

If the apprentice asks a question that meets with silence, suggest a possible answer. Don’t revert to “teaching mode”; just offer an answer to help reignite discussion. Don’t sit there like a sack of potatoes; take part just like everyone else.

3. Clarify When Necessary

If the apprentice asks a confusing question, respond respectfully with a clarifying question. “When you ask how this applies to our lives, are you asking about Jesus’ parable or the disciples’ response to it?”

4. Be Okay with Silence

Participate, but don’t dominate. If the apprentice asks a poor question, and the discussion falls flat, don’t rephrase the question or ask a different one. Let the silence sit, and let the apprentice figure out how to recover. Moments of awkward silence generate terrific coaching opportunities later when you meet to evaluate the meeting.

5. Act Normal

It’s okay if group members know you are coaching the apprentice. But they shouldn’t feel excluded, as though you and the apprentice have a secret, non-verbal code between you. Avoid too much body language or conspiratorial collusion in the corner of the room. Just act normal; you’ll have plenty of time to evaluate and instruct when you meet with the apprentice one-on-one.

If you want the apprentice to learn to lead, you must give the apprentice room to lead. Go ahead and call the plays in advance. But once it’s game time, you get to watch your team do its thing. You could be the sort of coach who shouts and gets mad during the game, but why would you want to? Better to simply let the games reveal what to work on in practice.

How to Help Someone Plan a Bible Study

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Studying the Bible and leading a Bible study are not the same thing. Though they’re composed of the same raw materials, the order of events makes all the difference.

When I study the Bible on my own I follow the steps (roughly) in order:

  1. Observe
  2. Interpret
    1. Ask questions
    2. Answer questions
    3. Determine the main point
  3. Connect the main point to Jesus
  4. Apply

Of course, it’s organic and cyclical. But the workflow generally moves in order through these steps (see the OIA infographic).

Workflow

Ian Ruotsala (2010), Creative Commons

But when I lead a Bible study, I arrange the same steps in a different order:

  1. Launching question introduces the main point.
  2. Opening application.
  3. Observation and interpretation questions are all mixed up.
  4. Determine the main point.
  5. Connect the main point to Jesus.
  6. Application questions.

When Bible study apprentices are ready to begin leading studies (the “You do; I help” stage of training), I make sure to help them see the difference. In our private study, we begin with a blank page. But in public teaching (including small group discussions), we begin with a nudge in the right direction. In all settings, public or private, we listen to the text and don’t presume upon it. And as leaders, we can help group members also to listen carefully to the text.

So when I meet with an apprentice to prepare the next Bible study, I have a few goals. The preparation meeting usually follows this agenda:

  1. Study the passage together and reach agreement about its main point.
  2. Come up with specific applications for ourselves.
  3. Come up with some application questions for the group.
  4. List a few observation and interpretation questions that will help the group reach the main point.
  5. Craft a strong launching question that will plant the seeds of the main point in the study’s opening minutes.

By the end of the meeting, I want the apprentice to have enough material to create a set of leader’s notes. I offer much direction to make this happen. But after doing this for a few months, the workflow passes through a series of phases:

Phase 1 (should have happened by now): I create the leader’s notes, but we meet to discuss them before the study.

Phase 2: Apprentice and I meet to create the leader’s notes together.

Phase 3: Apprentice creates the leader’s notes without me, but then we meet to discuss them.

Phase 4: Apprentice creates the leader’s notes without me, but emails them to me for feedback before the study. In this phase, my regular meeting with the apprentice focuses on shepherding the people (discussing how they’re doing, next steps, etc.).

Phase 5: Apprentice leads the study, and I never see the notes. I now give feedback on the study itself, only after the fact.

The point here is for the apprentice to have a steady increase in responsibility, along with a steady decrease in oversight. The details may look different for each person, but the key is to keep moving forward. And this movement should be gradual. If you go right from Phase 1 to Phase 5, most apprentices will feel abandoned and disheartened.

As the apprentice masters each phase of responsibility, we move into the next one. Such visible progress inspires and builds trust.

Passing the Leadership Baton

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As you raise up a new Bible study leader, the time will come for you to enter the third stage of training: You do, I help. At this point, you hand over the meeting’s leadership and let the apprentice have at it. Because your apprentice has demonstrated much faithfulness and readiness to advance, you may be tempted to jump too quickly to the fourth stage (You do, I watch). Or, you might suddenly feel greater fear of failure and be tempted to clamp back down.

noheadlights (2012), Creative Commons

noheadlights (2012), Creative Commons

So this transition needs some delicacy as you hold competing values in tension.

1. Take risks, but don’t be foolish

Face it: You don’t know how the apprentice will do. That’s okay, and that’s the risk of training. It would be simpler to continue leading yourself, but you know it’s not worth it. Handing over leadership is scary and relieving at the same time, so we should prepare for the risk.

However, we’re not jumping off a cliff, blind-folded. If the apprentice is not ready, don’t do it. If a moral failure or clear incompetence comes to light, deal with it. Riskiness may sometimes feel like idiocy, but the two are as different as Jacob and Esau.

2. Be present, but don’t take over

You’re not turning the whole thing over just yet; your apprentice needs you to continue attending the meetings. And as you attend, people will still see you as the leader. And when people see you as the leader, they’ll continue treating you as the leader. And when they treat you as the leader, you’ll fall back into that role like a recovering alcoholic in a liquor store.

You must resist this urge. If someone directs a question at you, deflect it over to the apprentice. As people make eye contact with you, turn your gaze toward the apprentice. Don’t make too many suggestions, even if the apprentice clearly misses what to do next.

Don’t be awkward, of course. You should take part in the discussion just as much as anyone else. Just as much, that is, and no more.

3. Empower, but don’t enable

Make sure the apprentice knows who is holding the baton. Clarify your role: That you will take part in the discussion, but you won’t set the direction. The apprentice has real authority to conduct this orchestra. The apprentice may make different choices than you have made with this group. The apprentice will receive credit for the orchestra’s performance. And the apprentice will be held responsible for anything out of tune.

And if the apprentice offends everyone in the room with an unforeseen lack of discernment, don’t make excuses in the name of delegation. Deal with issues as they arise.

4. Plan and evaluate, but don’t execute

Continue meeting with the apprentice to discuss each meeting. Evaluate the last one, and plan for the next one. Clarify the goals for each meeting, and possibly for each group member. Study the next Bible passage together to develop a main point and some possible applications.

But then let the apprentice pull it off. Be a coach, not a lifeguard. You might call the plays, but you’re not allowed on the field. You can’t jump in for the rescue when things go wrong.

In short, if you keep your grip while passing the baton, you’ll never finish the race.

One Thing You Must Know About Meeting With Your Apprentice

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If you’d like to train someone to lead a Bible study, and you’re ready to take the risk, you might just be waiting for a post about what to actually do when you meet with your apprentice. This is your post. There is one thing you must know, and then I’ll share some specifics about how I do it.

First, what you must know: You don’t need to follow a curriculum. The most common question I receive is “What materials do you use in your ministry?” And I don’t want to sound rude, but, ahem, the Bible is enough. You don’t need workbooks or study guides to tell you what question to ask next. Writers of study guides have much to offer, but they will never know as much as you do about you, your apprentice, your situation, or the needs of your small group. So make clear goals and find whatever direction you need. But major on getting to know your apprentice, shepherding his/her character, and discussing what will most help your group.

Now, when I say “you don’t need to follow a curriculum,” please don’t hear me saying you shouldn’t use a curriculum. Sometimes it can help. Sometimes it scratches the right itch. Sometimes.

So here’s what I do with my current apprentice, Jon. The training with my last apprentice looked different, but Jon and I are still early in our relationship, getting to know each other and learning how to encourage each other. Jon and I meet about every 2 weeks, at 8:15 pm on a weeknight (after our children are in bed), for 60-75 minutes.

  1. “How was your week?”
  2. “How is your marriage (or parenting) going?” (Insert major life responsibility, or chief character aim here.)
  3. “How do you think our small group is going? What is good, and what should we work on?” (Questions 1-3 take 30-45 minutes)
  4. Discuss one chapter of Knowable Word for about 10 minutes. Then we spend 15-20 minutes practicing those skills on the passage we studied at our last small group meeting (making the principles explicit).
  5. Pray for the group and for each other.
Nathan Rupert (2008), Creative Commons

Nathan Rupert (2008), Creative Commons

This meeting is neither an interview nor a lecture, but a conversation. I inject it with as much of my personal life as possible so we can get to know each other. Because I’m not the holy Prophet descending the mountain to convey my wisdom before returning to my contemplation, the relationship goes in both directions.

After we finish Knowable Word, I’ll probably have Jon read Growth Groups by Colin Marshall. But again, the discussion will center on the need of the moment, not the next approved subject. The key is not to follow a plan, but to live life together and offer real-time coaching.

I’d love to hear what else you’ve found effective in training apprentices.

Let Them See You Do It

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Floating FingerMy grandfather used to do a magic trick for children where he would remove half of his finger and make it float in mid-air. I thought he was a wizard, until he showed me how to do it. His revelation inspired me to perform the same trick whenever I’m around young children, and I now think I’m destined to become like my Pop-pop: a crazy old feller who gets his kicks off making children laugh at him.

Did you catch the turning point in my tale? He showed me how to do it. Training a new Bible study leader works the same way.

Following Jesus’ Example

Jesus got his first disciples on John the Baptist’s recommendation. John’s men trusted him when he told them to behold the Lamb of God (John 1:35-36). They went to check Jesus out, and Jesus didn’t commit too quickly. He merely invited them to “Come and see” (John 1:38-39). (Presumably, it was sometime after this that Jesus called them to make a clean break with their life direction and follow him – Mark 1:16-20.)

Jesus took these disciples along when he performed his first miracle (John 1:2) and cleared out the temple (John 1:22). He had them watch for a little while (Mark 3:13-6:6) before he gave them much to do themselves (Mark 6:7-8:30).

Jesus knew they wouldn’t know what to do unless they first saw him do it.

What to Show Them

As you begin training new Bible study leaders, first let them in and then let them see you do it. But what should we show them?

  • Show them how you study the Bible. Practice Bible study together. Work through the observation, interpretation, and application as a team. Label things as you go so they can see why you’re doing what you’re doing.
  • Show them how you prepare to lead a Bible study. Doing it and leading it are different skills. The former begins with a blank notebook and a clean text, the latter begins with a main point and suggested applications. Some people will intuit the difference; others need to be shown.
  • Show them how you think about caring for the Bible study’s members. Meet with your apprentice and discuss how people are doing. Share your insights about how to encourage and challenge these folks.
  • Show them how you set up the meeting. Talk about the schedule, room set up, greetings, and dismissal. Don’t just make these decisions yourself or feel your way through it. Let your apprentice know why you’ve made the choices you’ve made.
  • Show them how you pray. If you need the Lord’s mercy for the Bible study to succeed (and you do), your apprentice should see you begging for this mercy. Don’t be too respectable to beg.

If you had a mentor who showed you these things, you understand how helpful it was. If you didn’t have such a mentor, you can help others avoid the mistakes you made. This will get them farther faster.

The first phase of training apprentices is “I do, you watch.” This involves letting them in and letting them see you do it. Don’t just tell them how to do it; show them.

OIA Under Another Name

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I regularly try to clarify that what makes our Bible study useful is using not OIA terminology but OIA principles. So when I claim that OIA is the best Bible study method, I’m not saying that “OIA” is the secret pass code that unlocks all the hidden treasures of wisdom and knowledge. I’m merely saying that we have to pay attention to what’s said, understand what it means, and connect it to our lives.

Case in point: Marshall Segal writes a great post about “Six Questions to Ask When Studying the Bible in a Group.” And his six questions are really helpful not only for small groups but also for personal study. And someone might work through the steps Segal presents and wonder, “Why are there so many methods out there, and how do I make sure I’m following the right one?”

But please consider. Notice that Segal’s “Swedish Method” is the same as the OIA process, just with different labels.

Of course, we might explain each step with slight differences, but the substance remains the same. By all means, if you find “the Swedish Method” helpful, then please use it. It’s far more important to use the method than to label everything the same way I would.

I recommend Segal’s helpful article to you. Check it out!

Pray for the End of Your Small Group

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How do you pray for your small group? You might pray for your group leader, the friendships within the group, your time studying the Bible, or the growth of each member. God loves to answer these prayers. There’s another way to pray for your Bible study group that is unpopular, seldom used, and crucial for maximizing your group’s impact. This prayer needs the spotlight.

You should pray for the end of your small group.

Andrew Hurley (2011) Creative Commons License

Andrew Hurley (2011) Creative Commons License

To be clear, I’m not advocating for scandal, factions, apostasy, or apathy—I want just the opposite. I want your group to be so winsome and vibrant that it grows and grows. I want addition, not subtraction. Small group birth, not death.

I want your group to end because it splits. And you should want this too.

A Good Problem

Like corn stalks in the summer, a healthy group will grow. As a small community is centered on Jesus and committed to the Bible and each other, people will show up. Our hearts are drawn to close relationships focused on the most important questions and answers in life.

But a growing group reaches a point at which the word “small” no longer applies. Depending on your group’s purpose, this might be fine. But if you aim to take advantage of the friendships and interaction that can make a small group special, you’ll see that a larger group adds some challenges.

When a group exceeds ten or twelve members, it is more difficult to connect with each person in the group. Timid group members can fade into the shadows, and the leader may be tempted to lecture instead of lead a Bible-focused conversation. The prayer list can bulge and swell, spilling out of the house, oozing down the street, and threatening to consume the town. There’s a good reason why many churches and Christian ministries aim to start small groups.

Addressing the Problem

For the good of your Bible study, you should consider splitting the group in two. This makes space for new members and allows close relationships to flourish.

How should the group split? Some groups reach a saturation point, split the group evenly, and come up with a process by which the groups are populated. In other Bible studies, the leader is always training an apprentice. In the fullness of time, the apprentice will start his own group, inviting new people to join.

You may encounter some resistance from within your group when the time to split arrives. This is natural—your group members have formed close friendships, and the potential loss of those friendships looms large. This is why the kingdom-focused vision for your small group is so important. If your group aims to give birth to another, make sure that purpose is clear and repeated often. Pray for it frequently and invite and invest in people with this in mind.

How to Pray

As you pray for the end of your small group, you’ll also need to pray for a new leader. Start early, and pray frequently for God to prepare and equip such a person. (If you’re reading this article and following this series, you might well consider whether God is calling you to lead such a group.)

Pray for single-mindedness and unity within your group. If your group exists for the purpose of introducing people to the life-changing gospel of Jesus as he is known in the Bible, and if God gives your group this common vision, you will be prepared for Spirit-given growth. A tug-of-war changes dramatically when everyone pulls in the same direction.

Ultimately, pray for God’s kingdom to come and his will to be done, both within each group member and in your community. When your group splits, it may feel like an end, but it’s just another beginning. It’s a chance to bless even more people by loving them and pointing them to Jesus.

When to Leave Your Small Group

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My daughters love the park. The open, green spaces, the playground equipment, the swirl of exuberant children—they love it all. There’s nothing quite like snagging a colorful, squeak-free swing on a sunny day.

Since my family loves good parks, we know lousy ones when we see them. The equipment is rusty, the grass is too long, the seesaws are catawampus. In these situations, we don’t need a traffic cop to tell us to move along.

Jacqueline Schmid (2015), Public Domain

Jacqueline Schmid (2015), Public Domain

Knowing when to leave your small group Bible study can be a lot harder. You probably started in your group with high hopes—you were eager to form strong relationships built on studying the Bible. But a trusted recipe doesn’t guarantee perfect brownies. Even well-intentioned Bible studies can disappoint you.

Should you stay or should you go? How do you know when it’s a good time to look for another Bible study group?

Remember the Purpose

By attending a small group Bible study, you should have the chance to serve others and be blessed yourself. You can grow in your understanding of the Bible and your love for God, and you can point your friends in the same direction. In an ideal group, you’ll leave each week strengthened, refreshed, and full of gospel-fueled hope about the future.

When your experience in a small group doesn’t match your expectations, it’s good to remember why the group gathers. What’s the purpose of this Bible study anyway?

I’ve written before about the benefits of attending a small group. But for the purposes of this article, we need to revisit the three questions to ask when joining a small group: Where can I study the Bible? Where can I serve? Where can I learn? Returning to these questions can help you decide whether to keep fishing or pack up your tackle.

Ask the Three Questions

Joining a Bible study group involves a level of commitment; you’re not signing papers at the bank, but you also don’t want to flit from group to group like an over-caffeinated hummingbird. Leaving a Bible study is a big step, so you should weigh your reasons carefully.

Where can I study the Bible? If your group has deserted the Bible, it’s time to rethink your participation. Book groups and reading groups have their place and can be valuable, but a Christian’s life needs a large dose of the Bible.

Where can I serve? Can you contribute to the Bible study discussion? Can you talk with others privately and draw them into deeper conversation? Can you help some group members learn how to study the Bible through your example or encouragement? Do you have any opportunity to challenge, cheer, or bear the burdens of friends in your group? Do you see avenues for service opening up?

Where can I learn? Do you engage with the Bible? Does your leader ask questions and encourage the group to interact? Are you spurred on to seek the Lord through his Word? Or do you sense that a barrier was placed between you and the Bible?

A Sobering Decision

No small group is perfect. Be sure to set a reasonable standard for your Bible study and be as patient with your friends as you’d like them to be with you. Try to work for the good of the group, praying and making suggestions as you find opportunity. But when it looks like the door to serving others and growing yourself is closed, it might be time to find a new group.

Ten Characteristics of a Great Small Group Member

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Both inside and outside of the church, we talk a lot about the characteristics of leaders. And rightly so. For any organization, leaders cast the vision, set the goals, and model the actions.

We hear far less about followers. This, despite the fact followers far outnumber leaders!

What Makes a Good Follower?

cassandra (2012), Creative Commons License

cassandra (2012), Creative Commons License

We have lots of resources devoted to leading small group Bible studies. But what if you’re not the leader? What if you’re eager to glorify God by attending a Bible study?

Here are ten traits found in a great small group member. If you are attending a small group, make these qualities your target and the subject of your prayers.

What is a great small group member like?

  • He is a servant. The ideal small group member knows that he has an important role within his group. While he expects to be blessed by attending his small group, he sees the opportunity to bless others through his actions, words, and prayers. He relishes his opportunity to bear the burdens of his brothers and sisters in the Lord.
  • He is committed to the Bible. He values his friends and their contributions, but his highest authority is the Bible. He knows that cursory and thoughtless readings don’t honor God, so he pushes himself and his friends to dig again and again into the Scriptures. He works hard to keep his Bible study skills sharp.
  • He is open-minded. He is willing to change his mind when presented with compelling Biblical evidence. His convictions are shaped by God’s unchangeable word.
  • He listens. He values what others say. He knows that the Holy Spirit gives wisdom about the Bible through the insights of fellow believers. Because he cares for his friends, he is eager to hear how God is at work in their lives.
  • He is compassionate. He prays for his friends and follows up on those requests. He sends notes of encouragement to those who are fighting for joy in God.
  • He engages. He answers questions from the leader, and he poses questions himself. When the discussion drifts, he points the group back to the text. He gently draws out those who are shy, and he asks the bold to justify their claims from the Bible.
  • He is prepared. He labors before his group gathers so the meeting will have maximum impact.
  • He is vulnerable. He bares his heart to his friends, knowing that honesty is a crucial weapon in the battle against sin.
  • He perseveres. He is committed to his group despite the imperfections of both the leader and the other group members. He knows that all sinners (including himself) can be difficult to love, and he extends to others the forgiveness and grace he wants for himself.
  • He is growing. While spiritual growth may be difficult to spot from one day to the next, when he looks back over the course of a year, he can see more of the fruit of the Holy Spirit. (See Gal 5:22–23.) This growth is no cause for pride, but he rejoices in God’s faithful love for him. This growth is inspirational and infectious within his small group.

If you measure yourself against this list and come up short, don’t lose heart. Jesus is the only one who followed any list of good behavior perfectly. If you are God’s child, you don’t earn his smile; rather, his smile never departs from you! This provides both the motivation and the power to work toward blessing your small group.

I’m sure this list is not complete. What characteristics would you add?